I was starting to regret ever telling him to say those words: "Use my body." It had been a stupid joke one I thought Jace would laugh off, the same way he brushed off every bad day.
He'd said it, and Damian... Damian had seized it like a wolf catching the scent of blood.
I scrubbed a hand over my face,pacing every corner of my room.
My chest hurt with every thought of Jace lying in Damian's bed, his pride stripped, his freedom bound by ink on paper.
Why did I say it? Did I really want this?
No.Not like this.
The truth burned in my throat.I had wanted Jace close, yes. Always close. I'd been in love with him longer than I cared to admit. But love? My kind of love was meant to protect, not destroy.
And yet, here we were. I picked up my phone, staring at his name glowing on the screen. Jace.
I wanted to call,to apologize, to tell him everything that I never meant for Damian to own him, that I never told him Damian was my cousin, that I loved him.
But what would that fix? Damian's words echoed in my skull: "He already belongs to me."
A knock sounded on the door.I froze.
"Luca."Damian's voice came, smooth and commanding. "We need to talk."
My stomach twisted. He always knew. Always.
The door opened before I could answer,and there he stood, perfectly composed, eyes sharp as if he'd peeled back my ribcage and seen everything inside.
"You look sick," Damian said coolly, stepping in. "Is it guilt, or jealousy?"
I clenched my fists,but the truth was I couldn't deny either.
I swallowed hard, forcing myself to meet his eyes. "Don't twist it, Damian. I'm only worried about him."
Damian's lips curved in that slow, cruel smile that always meant trouble. He stepped closer, closing the door behind him with a deliberate click.
"Worried...or jealous?" His gaze pinned me like a blade. "You think I don't notice the way you look at him? That silent crush on your best friend… it's almost pathetic."
My pulse spiked. "You're imagining things."
"No," he said, his voice dropping low, intimate, dangerous. "I see it in your eyes every time Jace's name is mentioned. You want him, don't you? You've always wanted him. It must be agony, hurting in silence while he runs to me."
I felt my throat close, shame and anger warring inside me. He knew. Of course he knew. Nothing escaped Damian.
"I would never hurt him,"I ground out, my fists trembling at my sides. "Not like you."
Damian chuckled darkly,stepping so close I could feel the chill of his presence.
"But youdid hurt him, Luca. Don't forget, it was your idea that pushed him into this. 'Use your body to pay.' You gave me the key, and I used it."
My stomach dropped. His words were poison, seeping into the cracks of my guilt.
"You think he'll forgive you when he learns the truth?That you handed him to me on a silver platter?" Damian's smirk widened. "I almost pity you, cousin. Loving someone you can never have. Watching me break him night after night while you stand by, silent."
I wanted to shout. To hit him. To tear that smug expression from his face.
But the truth kept me frozen.He was right. I'd made the joke. I'd set the fire. And now Jace was burning in it.
Damian leaned closer,his lips brushing my ear like a whisper meant for lovers.
"Stay out of my way,Luca. Or maybe... I'll let Jace see just how deep your little obsession goes."
My breath caught, a cold panic flooding me. Because if Jace ever knew... it would destroy everything.
The door shut behind Damian, and the silence he left behind was suffocating.
I stood there, fists still clenched, heart pounding like I'd just survived a battlefield. Maybe I had.
Because every word he'd spoken dug deeper than any blade could.
You gave me the key, and I used it.
The memory hit me like a punch:Jace sitting across from me that night, exhausted, his eyes rimmed with red from worry.
I'd been desperate to cheer him up, desperate to make light of the weight crushing him.
"Tell him you'll pay with your body,"I'd said, laughing, thinking it was just a joke. We always did that. They were just words, right?
But Jace had taken it seriously. And Damian cold, unflinching Damian had turned that stupid joke into chains.
My stomach twisted. If Jace ever knew the truth, he'd hate me.
I dropped into the chair,burying my face in my hands.
I loved him more than I ever admitted,more than I ever should. And now I was forced to watch another man claim him, break him, mark him.
And the worst part? That man was my own blood.
My phone buzzed on the desk.Jace's name lit up the screen. For a moment, I didn't breathe.
My hand hovered over it, shaking.
Answer it.
But what would I say? That I was sorry? That I loved him? That Damian had cornered me and now held the truth like a weapon? The ringing stopped.The silence felt heavier than ever.
I looked out the window into the night.Somewhere across this city, Jace was in Damian's house alone, vulnerable. Maybe crying, maybe raging, maybe lying there in stubborn silence. And me? I was stuck in the shadows, too much of a coward to save him.
I whispered into the empty room,"I'm sorry, Jace. I never meant for this."
But apologies wouldn't save him.Only choices would... and for the first time, I wondered if I'd have to betray Damian himself to set Jace free.
I still remember the first time it hit me that I had fallen for him.
We were sixteen.Jace had just gotten into another fight behind the school, sporting a bloody lip, split knuckles, and a half-torn shirt.
Everyone else scattered the second the teacher's whistle blew,but not me. I stayed.
"Idiot,"I muttered, dragging him toward the corner where no one would see. "You're going to get expelled one of these days."
He just laughed,wiping the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand. "Worth it. Guy had it coming."
That was Jace stubborn,reckless, always ready to throw punches instead of words. But when he laughed, it was... real. It was like stars.
I pulled out tissues from my bag, pressing them against his lip. "Hold still."
He winced but didn't pull away.
For a moment, it was just the two of us me fussing over him, him looking at me with those sharp eyes that always seemed too wild for his own good.
"Why do you always stick around, Luca?" he asked suddenly.
The question caught me off guard.
My throat went dry.I shrugged, pretending to focus on the blood. "Because you'd be dead without me."
He grinned at that,leaning closer, his breath warm against my ear. "Guess I'd better keep you around, then."
I laughed it off.But inside, something shifted. My chest felt tight, my stomach flipping in ways I didn't understand back then.
That night, lying in bed, I replayed it over and over. His smile, his laugh, the way he'd leaned close like I was the only one in the world he trusted that's when I knew, i didn't just care about Jace, i wanted him, but he only talked about girls.He only looked at me like a friend, so I swallowed it down, locked it away, and promised myself it would never slip out.
Better to love him in silence than lose him completely.
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Kinda feeling hilarious writing this chapter
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