"Carrots?" the adviser asked, his voice laced with confusion. "Is that a code word for something?" He looked at Carl, completely puzzled by the bizarre request.
"No," Carl replied plainly. "I mean carrots. The orange things that grow in the soil. The ones we eat."
....
....
....
(WHAT THE FUCK IS HE TALKING ABOUT?!) my inner voice screamed. (That carrot-sucker! Does he want us to die? Asking that lunatic for a snack out of nowhere?)
Before Carl could make the situation any worse, I opened my mouth and unleashed a torrent of verbal diarrhea..
"Ah, Mr. Adviser, forgive me! I explained what happened to us, but I completely forgot to introduce us properly! My friend here is Carl Zeiss, I'm Darcy Sinclair, and we are both just absolutely starving from all the running we did to escape the forest. He's a vegetarian, you see, and carrots are his absolute favorite, so he was just wondering if—"
I kept talking as if my life depended on it, because it probably did.
The adviser held up a hand, a flicker of annoyance in his eyes. "Enough. Stop speaking. Your words pierce my ears like needles." He leaned in slightly, his gaze fixed on me. "And your face... what is wrong with it? Did you catch some strange curse in that tomb?"
"I was born this way," I mumbled. "It's my natural face."
"…Anyway," the adviser said, dismissing my existence with a wave. "Tonight, you will be provided for. You may yet bring me the artifact I have spent my life searching for. But tomorrow morning, you will return to the Forest of Broken Vows with two of my disciples to retrieve it." He added, "You will be provided with information regarding the artifact before you depart."
"Now," he commanded, "the guard will take you to your guest rooms. You will be watched all night. The maids will bring you your food. Sleep soundly. You have a long day tomorrow."
Yahoo! Looks like I'm safe for tonight... at least.
I shot a look at Carl and whispered through clenched teeth,"Please, for the love of all the vegetables in this God-forsaken world, do not open your mouth like that again."
Carl looked annoyed but gave a slight nod. The promise of carrots had put him in a marginally better mood.
"Could I perhaps get some meat?" I asked the adviser hesitantly.
He gave me a sinister smile. "Didn't your friend ask for carrots? YOU WILL BOTH GET CARROTS!"
That damn smile. He was enjoying this way too much.
"So, maybe some meat tomorrow morning, then? Before the journey?" I tried one last time.
"NO."
"Oh… as you wish, Mr. Adviser."
Damn that herbivore vampire! Why did he have to ask for carrots? Now I'm stuck eating them too, and I don't even like them. Can they even provide enough energy for what we have to do tomorrow?
We were escorted to two adjacent rooms. As we walked, Carl was unnervingly silent, not a trace of fear on his face.
"Are we really going to search for that tomb?" I hissed at him.
"Why not?" Carl replied with a shrug. "Sounds fun. We already decided this town was going to be our home before we even entered it. Might as well give it our all to fix it."
Who's "we"?! WE WHO?! Don't you dare mix me into this! And how the hell is he planning to save the town by finding the very artifact that creep wants?! Also, why is nobody talking about the actual Baron? I don't even remember his name anymore, and it hasn't even been fifteen minutes. Is he even still alive? Looking at him, he was clearly under the adviser's control. That guy has way more tricks up his sleeve than just the... God damn it, that name is too long... that spirituoparasitic curse. I'm getting the hell out of here the moment I get a chance!
Carl disappeared into his room. I went into mine. Through the wall, I could already hear him demanding the guards fetch the carrots he was promised for the night.
Really, Carl? I thought, slumping onto the luxurious bed.
A short time later, a maid entered with a serving trolley covered by a silver cloche. A delicious, savory scent filled the room. It smelled like roasted meat!
Wait... are carrots supposed to smell like that?! I couldn't hold back my excitement. After the hellish day I'd had, I was finally going to get something good to eat!
The maid lifted the cloche with a flourish. It was… it was…
Carrots...
Just a plate of plain..... carrots...
The maid gave me a devious smile. As she left, she picked up a small, smoking incense burner from her trolley. The moment it was gone from the room, the beautiful smell of meat vanished with it. That artifact-obsessed freak! He ordered her to do it! He tricked me with a meat-scented incense!
I ate the carrots....
...
...
...
They were all bitter....
Through the wall, I could faintly hear Carl praising the quality of his meal to the guard, going on about the "exquisite sweetness" and "delightful crunch." But mine... mine were bitter. Was that intentional too?
I shed a single tear and went to sleep, cursing my luck.
And even then, I couldn't have imagined in my wildest dreams what was about to happen next.