"When I was five years old, Grandpa..." Orochimaru began, but before he could finish, Luffy clamped his hand over his mouth. Seeing the terrifying look in Orochimaru's eyes, Luffy quickly raised his hands in surrender, silently promising not to press further. He squatted down and began drawing circles on the ground, pouting.
Ace and Sabo's ears perked up impossibly high, their curiosity piqued by the hint of a story. Disappointed at missing the juicy bit, they noticed the bloodshot veins in Orochimaru's eyes. They simultaneously scratched their heads and looked up at the sky, feigning boisterous laughter to cover their awkwardness.
Orochimaru deflated slightly. 'Stay calm, Orochi, you're a mature serpent now...' He glanced at the three children huddled together, their wide, sparkling eyes shining like stars, and clicked his tongue.
"Nothing much to tell, really. It's about the same as Ace and Sabo's stories," Orochimaru said, checking the System settings. He pulled out a diary and began spinning a tale to entertain the kids.
"Somewhere on the Grand Line lies Wano Country. It's a closed country, meaning it's independent and outsiders aren't welcome. Its people aren't allowed to leave freely either—unauthorized travel abroad is illegal. News from the outside world reaches them through passing newsgulls. The current ruler of Wano Country is a man named Kozuki Sukiyaki."
"Think of him like a king," Orochimaru explained patiently, worried the kids might not understand. He also prepared snacks, hoping to keep them entertained.
"Then this king had a son, Kozuki Oden, born with superhuman strength. Everyone had high hopes for him, seeing him as the obvious choice to be the next shogun. But this guy was... complicated. He was a master of drinking, gambling, and womanizing, getting into all sorts of trouble you kids don't need to know about. Hunted by his own people, his father finally disowned him. So Oden rounded up nine loyal thugs, carved out a small kingdom in some backwater, and did alright for himself. But his real dream was to escape that place and sail the seas. He felt suffocated by his responsibilities. So when the Whitebeard Pirates showed up, he shamelessly begged Whitebeard to let him join the crew. Everyone refused at first, but somehow, he managed to weasel his way onto the ship and abandoned his kingdom for the open sea."
Seeing the three children hanging on every word, Orochimaru poured himself some tea. He glanced at their messy faces, covered in crumbs, and couldn't resist wiping their mouths before continuing.
"Once at sea, Oden rescued a woman, married her, and had a son. This woman had a Devil Fruit power—she was from eight hundred years ago and kept jumping forward in time, desperately trying to return to her homeland, Wano Country."
"Then one day, your old man heard about this piece of trash," Orochimaru said, pointing at Ace. "He thought he was some rare, powerful dude, not too different from himself, and swindled him away from Whitebeard."
Ace tilted his head in confusion. "Huh? What?"
"Don't interrupt, I'm still telling the story," Orochimaru said, holding up the System-provided document, Lady Toki's Diary, and continued reading.
Ace's veins bulged. 'You're the one who got carried away and started talking to me!'
"One day, that trash's wife fell ill with a disease that would kill her if she didn't return to her homeland. So he and your dad escorted Lady Toki and her two children back to Wano Country."
"But by then, Wano Country had been seized by some hideous usurper named Orochi, who had imprisoned the shogun Kozuki Sukiyaki. The people were suffering terribly, desperately hoping for Sukiyaki to stay and restore order. But that worthless scum, blinded by his own twisted romanticism, knew all this and still abandoned those poor souls to go gallivanting around with your dad."
Orochimaru munched on a senbei and sipped some tea. Noticing the trio's waning interest—they were practically falling asleep—he forcibly jolted them awake. A snake slithered around each of their necks, coiling tightly and radiating cold. "Since you insisted on hearing this, you're gonna listen properly!"
"Where was I? Oh yeah, that trash ran off again. Eventually, he and your dad reached the final island—the One Piece Luffy dreams about. Then your dad disbanded his pirate crew and went home to live happily ever after with your mom."
"Quick question! What was that trash's name?"
Sabo's hand shot up. "Kozuki Oden!"
Orochimaru nodded approvingly. "Good, you were paying attention. Luffy, Ace! There'll be more questions later. If you can't answer them... Hehehe...?"
Luffy and Ace nodded frantically.
"After Kozuki Oden parted ways with Roger, feeling his grand adventure was complete, he remembered he still had a kingdom to inherit. So he returned to the war-torn Wano Country. When he got home, he heard all the amazing things his wife had been doing and proudly exclaimed, 'Wow, my wife's so capable!' After a few days of celebrating, he suddenly wondered, 'Where's my dad, the king?' His retainers told him his father was imprisoned, along with many loyal subjects. Furious, Oden grabbed his sword and charged off to rescue them, only to be confronted by the enemy: 'We have hostages! Agree to our terms, and we won't harm the people. Leave in five years, and we'll release them.' So Oden gave up on the rescue attempt and spent the next five years happily dancing naked in the streets."
Even Luffy was stunned. "What kind of ultimate idiot does that? I can't even believe it!"
"That idiot Oden was so foolish even Kurozumi Orochi, the usurper king, couldn't stand it anymore. Orochi told him, 'I lied about everything,' and Oden just... snapped. He realized he'd trusted Orochi for nothing, so he led his retainers to attack Orochi's boss behind the scenes. They lost, and Oden was executed. But even as he died, he managed to save his retainers, telling them to take his wife and children and run."
Luffy, Sabo, and Ace were completely baffled. Finally, Sabo couldn't hold back any longer. "Hey, Orochimaru... weren't you supposed to be telling us about you? Where do you fit into this?" Luffy and Ace nodded in agreement.
"I'm getting there! Almost done. Just listen closely! The Nine Red Scabbards escaped—those were Oden's nine strongest retainers. They found Lady Toki, Oden's wife, and told her he was dead. Toki said she didn't want to live without Oden; she felt there was no hope left for this era. She decided to send her eldest son, Kozuki Momonosuke, and four retainers twenty years into the future to find a way to open Wano Country's borders. The remaining retainers and her daughter stayed behind, enduring humiliation until the time was right."
"Okay, Luffy! What was the name of the eldest son they sent to the future?"
"Kozuki Momonosuke!!!" ╭(°A°`)╮
'Excellent.' Orochimaru was pleased. 'Momonosuke's future likeability just dropped to -1.'
Ace timidly asked, "So... Orochimaru... what about you?"
Orochimaru calmly took a sip of his tea. "When Lady Toki was preparing to die, she discovered she was pregnant. With the help of her late-arriving retainer Denjiro, she escaped and gave birth to a child before succumbing to her injuries. Denjiro, now calling himself Kyoshiro, raised the boy until he was five. Then Kyoshiro's enemies retaliated by stuffing the child into a barrel and setting him adrift. The barrel washed up in Windmill Village, where an old man wearing a dog-head hat found him. That's the story."
"Ehhhh?! That's all you're going to say?!"