Author
I'm not surpose to update this ff today, but let me give one ❤️❤️❤️
On Sunday morning around eleven, Zhan finished dressing, closed his small bag, and picked up his phone to call Yibo.
The moment it rang, Yibo answered warmly, "Baby."
"Good morning, Gege" Zhan said.
"Morning. How was your night?"
"It was fine," Zhan replied softly. "I just wanted to tell you I'm ready."
"But the plan was for later in the evening, Baby," Yibo reminded him.
Zhan's face fell. "Please, Gege, come and take me home now. Baba already said it doesn't matter... whether in the morning or the evening."
"I'm still at work right now. After I'm done, I'll come and pick you up. Be patient, alright?"
Zhan felt a sudden sting in his chest, as if he might burst into tears. Yibo asked, "Are you still there?"
Barely holding himself together, Zhan whispered, "Yes, I heard you."
He ended the call abruptly, pouting as he put the phone aside. Just then the door opened and Xuxui walked in.
"Come with me to our neighbors' house," she said. "I need to offer them condolences. They lost their daughter four days ago."
"Alright," Zhan replied quietly, standing to follow her.
They went next house, where Xuxui introduced herself properly for the first time since moving into the neighborhood. After she had spoken kindly and expressed sympathy, they thanked her sincerely. Zhan sat silently throughout.
When it was time to leave, Xuxui said, "Let's go back now. May she rest in peace, and may the family find comfort."
The neighbors thanked her again, and she and Zhan left.
As they stepped out of the gate, Zhan's eyes followed a passing car long after it had gone.
Xuxui noticed. "Do you know the person in that car? You stared as though you did."
Zhan quickly shook his head. "No."
They returned home. Once in his room, Zhan picked up his phone and dialed Dr. Kexing's number.... the one he now used regularly. The call went unanswered. He tried again. This time, Dr. Kexing picked up.
Silence.
Recognizing it instantly, Dr. Kexing said, "Zhan."
Zhan lowered his gaze to the floor. "Good morning, Sir."
"Why did you stop using the line you used to call me before? Why are you treating me like this, Zhan? Is it because I care? Is it because I love you?"
At once, Zhan's chest tightened at the rawness in his voice.
"Zhan…" Dr. Kexing said again, softer this time.
Gathering courage, Zhan asked quietly, "I saw you step out earlier. Where were you going?"
Dr. Kexing looked around at where he had parked. The street was utterly silent...no traffic, no signs of movement. "Did you just guess that?"
Zhan smiled faintly. "I saw you… but in my dream."
Dr. Kexing's voice grew hushed. "My life hasn't been the same since you left me. If I had known love would feel like this, I never would have allowed myself to fall. I didn't abandon you...you abandoned me. If I'd known, I would've stayed away, never started anything. I have never been lucky in love. And I swear to you, my feelings for you were real, not driven by any selfish aim.
I resigned from lecturing weeks ago. That job cost me everything. If I'd worked in a hospital, maybe I would have seen you once in a while, then you'd leave again. But as a lecturer… seeing you every day made me fall in love with you before I even realized it.
I never bargained for this, Zhan. I still haven't recovered from losing my father and only sister… and then you...."
His voice broke, and he fell silent.
Tears welled in Zhan's eyes. His whole body felt weak, but he couldn't speak. The line went dead. Dr. Kexing had ended the call.
Zhan broke down, crying bitterly. Deep inside, he knew he still loved him, but both his father and Dr. Kexing's family would never allow them to be together.
- - - -
Later, around four o'clock, Yibo called.
"Can I come over now?" Yibo asked.
Slowly, Zhan said, "Gege… can I wait until tomorrow instead?"
"Why tomorrow?" Yibo asked in surprise.
Holding his aching head, Zhan replied, "I don't know. I just feel like leaving tomorrow morning instead of today."
"Are you alright?"
"Yes… but deep down, I'd rather go tomorrow."
"Alright then," Yibo said. "I'll tell Mama."
Panicked, Zhan blurted, "How will you explain it to her?"
"Don't worry, Baby. I'll just say I couldn't leave work early."
Zhan sighed in relief. "Thank you, Gege."
"Did you nap earlier?"
"Yes, I just woke up."
"Alright. I'll head back now... it's almost time."
"See you later," Zhan said, ending the call.
He went to the bathroom, but when he came out, he found himself dialing Dr. Kexing again.
This time, the call connected.
"When are you coming back?" Zhan asked quietly.
"Back where?"
"To your house."
"I'm home already."
"But I saw you leave around 11:30," Zhan pressed.
There was a pause. "How?"
"In your white car. You were wearing either a black or navy polo," Zhan murmured.
Dr. Kexing froze. "Wait...how did you know that?"
Zhan smiled faintly. "That just shows I'm with you now and always."
For a long while, Dr. Kexing was silent. Then he asked, voice low, "You came to the neighborhood, didn't you?"
"Not at all."
"Please, Zhan. For the sake of the love I have for you, tell me...where are you now?"
"I'm at Miller Road," Zhan answered.
"Miller Road? I don't understand."
"Yes."
"With whom?"
"My aunt."
"But I'm not far from Miller road. Just a few streets away."
"I know."
"But which aunt?"
"You don't know her."
"Zhan… if you're telling the truth, send me the address. Please. Don't play with my feelings."
Zhan gave a small smile. "I'll send it."
He forwarded the same address he sent to Dr. Jing the day before.
Dr. Kexing immediately called back, his voice shaking. "Zhan, are you serious? Please tell me this isn't a game."
"It's true."
"Alright then... I'm on my way. Right now."
The line cut.
Zhan's heart began to race wildly. How would he explain to Xuxui that Dr. Kexing was coming? What if Yibo or Hai Kuan showed up at the same time? Or worse...if his father returned?
Anxiety churned in his chest. He knew there wasn't much distance between Dr. Kexing's house and theirs. Quickly, he went to find Xuxui.
"What should we make for dinner?" she asked, unaware of the storm rising in Zhan's heart.
Zhan said softly, "There's still some food left, Aunt Xuxui."
Xuxui nodded. "That's fine."
Lowering his head, Zhan added, "Actually… it's a coursemate of mine." Then he fell silent.
Xuxui gave him a small smile. "Feel free."
"He lives nearby. He'll come over so we can meet," Zhan explained.
"That's fine," Xuxui replied. "But bring him inside to the sitting room, you can talk there, no problem."
Quickly, Zhan shook his head. "No, we'll just sit outside in the compound."
"Alright then," Xuxui agreed.
Zhan was about to leave but paused. "Aunt, Baba won't be back today, right?"
Smiling, she said, "He won't. Don't worry."
Zhan left the sitting room and returned to his room, only to see four missed calls from Dr Kexing. He went downstairs, and at the gate, after the guard opened it, he saw Dr Kexing leaning against his car, staring intently at him without blinking. Zhan couldn't describe what he felt in that moment, only that he noticed how much thinner Dr Kexing looked, clearly lacking peace of mind.
Summoning courage, Zhan said, "Come in."
Dr Kexing walked toward him, still watching him. Zhan turned back inside the house, heading to the open-air seating area. Dr Kexing followed and sat opposite him.
Quietly, Zhan said, "Good evening, sir."
Dr Kexing didn't respond. He held his head in his hands while Zhan lowered his gaze, discreetly wiping away the tears that had begun to gather. In a trembling voice, he said, "I'm sorry. This is our fate."
"Our fate, Zhan? What do you mean?" Dr Kexing asked, lifting his head to look at him.
"It means," Zhan forced the words out, "we're not meant to marry now."
"And when then?" Dr Kexing pressed.
"Maybe years from now," Zhan said with quiet determination. "If it's meant to be, nothing will stop it. But right now, I see no sign that it will happen."
Dr Kexing shook his head. "So it's true… you don't love me, Zhan. It's just me wasting my time, being the only one who feels this way."
Zhan broke into sobs. "Why would you say that? Your parents won't accept me, and my parents won't accept you... especially after everything that happened with our cancelled wedding. Back then, I thought I could run away with you and marry elsewhere, but now I realize that would've been the biggest mistake we both could ever make. A marriage without our families' blessing would never last. In the end, we'd only live in regret.
"But listen," Zhan continued, voice breaking, "you'll always be my first love. You were the one who taught me what love is, and I'll always be proud of that. You loved me sincerely, and I loved you truly in return. I will never stop loving you... even now, that love only grows stronger. But for now, we have to wait. Deep down, I feel we're meant to be together, and one day we will marry... but not now, not yet. Until then, let's remain friends, keep our bond alive, and continue talking. That's the only way we'll both find some peace."
Dr Kexing gave a faint smile and stood, still looking at Zhan. "Thank you, Zhan."
Zhan watched as his eyes brimmed with emotion. Dr Kexing turned and walked to the gate. Quickly, Zhan stood up. "Sir... " he called. But Dr Kexing didn't look back. He opened the gate and left. Tears streamed down Zhan's face as he returned inside, leaned his head against the table, and cried quietly.
***
Lan Yi was in the sitting room, serving Qiren his dinner. After turning on the TV, Qiren asked, "Zhan hasn't returned yet?"
Lan Yi replied, "Yibo said he couldn't leave the hospital early today. He'll be back tomorrow."
"I see," Qiren murmured.
After serving him, Lan Yi started to leave. Qiren looked after her and said, "We'll talk when I finish eating."
"Call me when you're done," she answered, leaving the room.
These days, unlike before, she avoided spending much time in his section of the house. She only came to serve meals and then returned to her own quarters; she no longer even slept there.
When Qiren finished eating, he called her back. She sat down.
"I've noticed," he began, "that you hardly come to this part of the house anymore."
Frowning, she replied, "Please, I don't want to discuss that. If you have something else to say, fine. But not this."
He gave a small smile. "Alright." Setting down his glass, he watched her for a few seconds before continuing, "It's about Hai Kuan."
Lan Yi turned her full attention to him. In a few minutes, Qiren explained what Hai Kuan had come to discuss with him. Lan Yi stared, then shook her head. "I'd prefer Yibo. He's more gentle, more responsible. In fact, I already spoke to him about this a few days ago. So let's leave Hai Kuan out of it."
Surprised, Qiren asked, "But Hai Kuan showed interest first. Why would you say Yibo instead? Why should I ignore Hai Kuan?"
"Because I know them both," Lan Yi insisted. "And I know Zhan too. Yibo is the one who can truly understand him, who has the patience for him. Hai Kuan doesn't."
Qiren looked at her in disbelief. "Then I'll cancel both Hai Kuan and Yibo. It seems you're only pushing for your own preference."
"This isn't about preference," Lan Yi said firmly. "I'm thinking of Zhan's future... where he'll find peace of mind. These boys are all ours, but no one knows them better than I do. Please, drop the matter. Yibo isn't just the right choice for me... he's the right choice for Zhan. I don't think anyone understands him the way Yibo does."
Qiren rose without replying further and left for his room, unwilling to continue the argument. Lan Yi quietly cleared the dinner dishes and walked out too.
- - - -
At nine in the morning, Zhan came downstairs with his bag.
Xuxui, who had been watching him, asked, "Are you feeling unwell? Since yesterday, you don't seem like yourself. Is something wrong?"
Zhan forced a smile. "It's nothing, Aunt. Just a headache, but it's better this morning."
"Yibo is waiting outside," Xuxui told him.
Zhan nodded. She picked up a small bag beside her and handed it to him. "Here, some little gifts. They're not much."
Bowing slightly, Zhan accepted it. "Thank you, Aunt."
"You're welcome," she said warmly. "Greet your mother Lan Yi and Mama Ai for me."
"I will," Zhan replied before heading toward the door.
Outside, he found Yibo already seated in the car. He opened the front seat and got in. "Good morning."
"Morning," Yibo replied.
Quietly, Zhan said, "Gege, won't you come inside and greet her?"
Yibo smiled faintly. "I'm already late. I'll drop you first before I head to work."
"It'll only take two minutes," Zhan urged. "She knows you came to pick me up. She's kind and thoughtful...it would mean a lot."
"Alright," Yibo gave in. "Next time, then."
But Zhan opened the door and stepped out. "No, go now. Just greet her quickly and then we'll leave."
Yibo hesitated, watching him silently. Then, with a small sigh, he switched off the engine, opened his door, and stepped out. Zhan smiled. "See? That wasn't so hard."
Playfully, Yibo tugged Zhan's nose before walking inside. Zhan followed behind.
Xuxui was still in the sitting room watching television when they entered. Yibo came forward and greeted her politely.
"How's work at the hospital Dr?" she asked.
"It's fine," Yibo answered with a smile.
"And how are Lan Yi and Mama Ai?"
"They're well," Yibo replied.
She rose from her chair. "Let me have some breakfast prepared for you."
Yibo shook his head. "No need, thank you. I have to get to work."
"Alright then," Xuxui said. "Thank you very much."
He thanked her in return, and she walked him out to the balcony. Zhan, who had been waiting outside, stood when he saw Yibo coming. Together, they left through the gate.
Driving away, Zhan glanced at him. "Gege."
Yibo tilted his head. "What?"
"You seem… different lately," Zhan said softly. "Not as lively as before. You hardly talk. You're always quiet. Why is that?"
"It's nothing," Yibo replied, forcing a smile. "Just work stress."
"Or is it your wife?" Zhan asked carefully.
Yibo shook his head firmly. "Not at all. I don't get involved with her. I have nothing to do with her. I'm just waiting for time to pass."
"Whatever it is," Zhan said gently, "don't keep it inside. I don't like seeing you this way."
"You're funny, Baby," Yibo said, smiling faintly. "It's really nothing. Just the nature of work."
Zhan smiled too, though his heart felt heavy. He hadn't slept properly the night before, still restless over thoughts of Dr Kexing. And now, seeing Yibo withdrawn and quiet unlike before only deepened his worry. He missed the Yibo who used to talk more freely.
When they reached home, Yibo parked in front of the gate. Zhan turned to him, and he leaned over to kiss his cheek. "Take care of yourself, Gege."
Yibo smiled softly. "I will, Baby."
Zhan picked up his bag from the back seat, got down, and went inside. Yibo reversed the car slowly, touching the cheek Zhan kissed before a smile slipped onto his lips.
~**~
Inside, Qiren sat in the sitting room with Lan Yi, Hai Kuan, Yibo, and Granny Ai. Zhan entered last, after Granny Ai had summoned him from Shu's room. He sat on the floor close to Lan Yi, glancing around curiously, wondering why everyone seemed gathered as if for a meeting.
Granny Ai looked directly at Qiren. "Tell me, where have you ever seen someone like Zhan being pushed into work? Since I was born, I've never seen such a thing. A child like him belongs in his parents or husband's home, not being sent off to some office. And now you say Guangzhou? Do you mean to release him like a bird and send him away again? What kind of reasoning is this, Qiren?"
Yibo, who had been watching quietly, turned to Granny Ai.
"Who told you non-binary people don't work?" he asked.
Granny Ai sniffed. "It's not my concern, but not in our family. After everything, we should be avoiding more talk. We still haven't recovered from the disgrace Shu dragged onto this family. Maybe the rest of you have, but I haven't. To this day, I can't go out without covering my face, afraid people will link me to Shu."
Hai Kuan said nothing. Lan Yi stayed silent too, though her expression made it clear she didn't like the idea of Zhan working. Even after Yibo had spoken to her yesterday, the thought still unsettled her.
Qiren exhaled slowly. "Everything you've said is true, Aunt Ai. But Zhan won't just be left alone without support in Guangzhou. I've made arrangements with Hai Kuan before gathering everyone here."
Lan Yi lifted her head and looked at him.
Qiren continued, "It's a major hospital, well-known across China. Not everyone gets accepted to work there. I had a doctor friend who worked there before moving abroad. That's why I felt I couldn't let this opportunity slip past Zhan."
Granny Ai scoffed. "And what does he need work for? He's not starving, he has clothes, he lacks nothing."
Qiren shook his head. "No. He will work."
"A work, work, work," Granny Ai interrupted sharply. "And what about marriage? You speak only of jobs as if you've lost your sense. What then? Should Zhan grow old in this house, unmarried, and leave us with the shame? Marriage is a person's true honor, Qiren, don't forget that."
"Marriage has its time," Qiren replied firmly. "When it's meant to happen, it will. Work doesn't stop anyone from marrying. Many people are desperate for jobs and never find them."
Granny Ai pursed her lips and shook her leg, showing she was far from convinced.
Qiren went on, "That's why I've decided Lan Yi will move permanently to Guangzhou. I've already purchased a house there... it's furnished, everything ready. They just need to move in. Building on my own land there would take too long, and Zhan is expected to resume work next week."
Granny Ai's eyes widened. "You bought a new house in Guangzhou, Qiren?" She broke into a wide smile, her joy too obvious to hide. "So it's true... patience brings fortune. That's wonderful news! Lan Yi will be the Lady of Guangzhou now, anyone wanting to see her will have to come properly. Unlike here, where every stray person and animal comes wandering in. This neighborhood is nothing but filth and stench. But now? Ah, Qiren, you've done well. I'm so pleased!"
Qiren's phone rang. He answered his friend's call, leaving Granny Ai glowing with excitement. She got up slowly, edged toward Yibo, and said, "Yibo, can you get me a new trunk? I'm tired of this old one."
Yibo chuckled. "Hai Kuan knows where they sell them."
She turned toward Hai Kuan but noticed Qiren had finished his call, so she hurried back to her seat, still grinning.
Qiren set his phone down. "But one thing is certain, Aunt Ai... Shu will not be making this trip. Since word came from Tianjin that Fang Yu's mother isn't well, I think it's best you move back to Yantai with her instead. In two days, they'll take a flight. They'll only need to pack there clothes."
Granny Ai's mouth fell open. She stared at Qiren without even blinking.
Zhanxianyibo💚❤️💛