"Delilah," I said. "I can't change what I did. But I want to take care of you. Of the baby. I won't disappear. I won't run."
"You think you can just say that and it'll fix anything?"
"No," I said. "But I mean it. I want to be here. Whatever it costs."
"You sound like you think you can have everything," she said. "You want me and them. You want to keep all of it."
I didn't answer right away. "It's not about wanting everything," I said quietly. "It's about not betraying the people who trust me."
Her tone hardened. "And what about betraying me?"
"I already did that," I said. "And I'll regret it every day. But if I abandon them now, I'd be betraying them. I'd be betraying everything I stood for. Everything I said I'd protect."
"You call that loyalty?" she asked, disbelief heavy in her voice. "Sleeping with them? Lying to me?"
"It's not loyalty to what I've done," I said. "It's loyalty to who I'm trying to become. They depended on me. I can't just throw them aside."
