Dudley never expected Hagrid to sneak attack him, and by the time he reacted, it was already too late.
He tried to dodge, but he wasn't quick enough.
That red spell still hit Dudley, or to be more precise, it struck him right on his firm, well-padded backside.
The thing about stereotypes is they'll get you killed.
You should never judge someone based on a book or a tale, because the reality can be shockingly different.
Take Hagrid, for instance, who had just attacked Dudley.
In Dudley's mind, Hagrid was a big, good-natured softie. That's why, after he'd had the good manners to knock the half-giant's wand out of his hand, he thought the fight was over. He had no clue that Hagrid would then try to curse him with a broken umbrella.
It's a bit like a Niffler, really. They look cute and mischievous in the books, but in the real world, if one's after your gold, it'll tear a whole room to bits without a moment's hesitation. You just can't trust the picture in your head.
Perhaps that's not the best comparison, but Hagrid is a simple fellow, simple enough that he might do something completely unexpected, even to himself.
This was the first lesson life had given Dudley.
People are complex creatures.
In the right place, at the right time, they can do things that will completely take you by surprise.
---
Don't ever rely on an impression to judge how dangerous someone is.
Suddenly, Dudley's trousers were straining at the seams, and a tail was sprouting from his lower back, right above his tailbone. It was a curled, thin pig's tail, and it was wiggling about rather comically on Dudley's backside.
There was no doubt about it; this was a Transfiguration spell.
Thank Merlin it was an incomplete one, or he might have been a proper pig instead of just having a tail.
"Oh, good heavens!"
Petunia and Vernon shrieked at the same time. Harry, seeing his aunt swaying on her feet as if she might faint, rushed forward to steady her.
*Not playing fair, are we?*
The moment Dudley saw that little pig's tail, his eyes went wide, his cheeks turned red, and his heart began to pound. Every muscle in his body tensed. A fiery rage swelled in his chest, making it nearly impossible for him to control himself.
It wasn't just anger, though; it was fear, too!
Anger at the sneak attack, but fear because he had so nearly been turned into a pig.
Having read a few magical books, Dudley knew that Transfiguration was a very dangerous subject, one that could even cause irreversible damage to the caster. He'd read about wizards being flattened by a cow they'd conjured or a witch who permanently turned herself into an animal after a failed spell.
Every true spellcaster must show reverence to magic; it's a fundamental rule.
He didn't know how to brew a potion to reverse a Transfiguration spell, and there was no way he was going to beg Hagrid to undo the curse.
Instead, he was going to teach himself a lesson he'd never forget.
And so, Dudley did something that no one in the room expected.
He let out a roar, a truly monstrous sound, and grabbed that wiggling tail. He steeled himself, then yanked with all his might. The sound of tearing flesh and a pained grunt filled the room as blood began to seep through the fabric of his trousers, staining his legs.
The tail and a bit of flesh were now in his hand. He put the bloody bit of flesh and the tail into his mouth and swallowed it whole.
The Dursleys and Harry were stunned. Hagrid was frozen in shock. No one had expected Dudley's reaction to be so extreme.
An eerie silence fell over the little shack.
The only light came from the dancing flames in the fireplace, which illuminated Dudley's face. The round, boyish face they all knew had turned sharp and angular. Veins stood out on his temples and neck like thick, twisting vines. In the darkness, his eyes glowed with a feral, unsettling light, like a cat's in the dark. His mouth was slightly open, revealing two rows of white teeth tinged with blood. The heavy sound of his breathing filled the room, making it sound like a swarm of mice were scampering within his chest. He was an image of a ghoul straight out of a horror story.
Harry suddenly shivered. He'd only ever seen Dudley look like that once before, the night he'd saved him from those muggers.
That Dudley was back.
The one feared by every thug. The one who was a permanent shadow in the minds of every lowlife in Surrey.
"Ghost-man Dudley!"
Harry knew Dudley was truly furious.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!" Hagrid stammered, frantically waving his hands as if to ward off a curse. He didn't even notice the pain in his shoulder.
He didn't know why he'd had the bizarre impulse to attack Dudley; he'd just wanted to teach the lad a lesson so he'd stop getting in the way of his mission from Dumbledore to fetch Harry. He never meant to hurt him.
It might have just been a reflex, but that no longer mattered.
As his throat moved to swallow, Dudley moved in a flash. He was so fast that Vernon and Petunia only saw a blur of motion. The next moment, he was right in front of Hagrid.
He threw a straight punch right at Hagrid's chest.
Level 3 Boxing!
Hagrid had no time to react and was sent flying, crashing back down on his backside.
The impact was like a small mountain falling, and the whole shack shuddered.
With one punch, Dudley moved away.
That half-giant skin was tougher than dragon hide. A full-force punch, with a magical boost from his skill, only sent Hagrid to the ground. Dudley's right hand was throbbing as if he'd just hit a steel plate.
If it had been any regular person, Dudley was confident that one punch would have been enough to finish them.
But Dudley wasn't finished.
As Hagrid scrambled to his feet, a low, menacing voice came from behind him.
"Ready or not, here I come!"
A chill of pure malice made Hagrid freeze. The next moment, a sudden, piercing pain shot through his right hand, and his grip on his pink umbrella went slack.
This time, the umbrella didn't just fall to the floor. Dudley snatched it up and threw it as far as he could.
*First, I'll take away your wand.*
Now that the troublesome magic was gone, he could continue the fight properly.
Dudley's eyes, glowing with that eerie, pale light, were filled with a wild excitement.
Come on, everyone! Let's get it done!