"Have a biscuit, mate."
Dudley saw Harry that afternoon, and while he chugged the last bit of tea straight from the teapot, he casually offered Harry a biscuit.
"Thanks." Harry took the biscuit and crunched on it happily.
Dudley then offered one to Hermione. "Want one, Hermione?"
"I've already had some," Hermione said, shaking her head. But she kept glancing at the biscuits, looking intrigued. Her gut told her these weren't from the Hogwarts kitchens.
"They're not bad. Did you make them, D?" Harry asked, having finished the first one and grabbing a second. He clearly hadn't had enough.
"You know I'm not good with sweets," Dudley replied, taking a biscuit for himself. "These were from a Slytherin student."
The truth was, Pansy couldn't cook at all. She'd asked some of the other Slytherin girls who were good at baking to make them for Dudley.
Hermione suddenly looked curious. "Dudley, do you really like biscuits that much?"
"Not really. I just like to chew on something when I'm bored."
As Dudley finished the last biscuit and heard the satisfying "experience +2" notification from his system, he眯了眯眼, happy. Hogwarts' bread wasn't as tough as he was used to back home. Life without a good chew stick was difficult.
A Visit to Hagrid's
The trio left the castle, walked across a field, and found a small wooden hut on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. This was Hagrid's home. A crossbow and a pair of rubber boots hung by the door. As long as they stayed out of the Forbidden Forest, Hogwarts didn't stop students from wandering around the castle grounds.
Harry knocked on the wooden door. Inside, they heard a frantic scrambling and a few deep barks. Then, Hagrid's gruff voice boomed out: "Back, Fang, back!"
The ground trembled slightly as the door opened a crack, revealing Hagrid's large, bearded face. When he saw Harry, Dudley, and Hermione, he beamed.
"I thought you wouldn't come—oh, I mean, I'm glad you're here!" Hagrid said awkwardly. He was never good at finding the right words, but his excitement was obvious. As long as you didn't touch on certain subjects, Hagrid was a big softie. He quickly ushered them inside.
From the outside, the hut looked small, but the inside was much bigger. It was clear the place had been expanded with an Undetectable Extension Charm; otherwise, a giant like Hagrid wouldn't have been able to fit.
"Professor Dumbledore helped me with it. Not bad, huh?" Hagrid mumbled proudly.
Stepping inside felt like entering a giant's land. Everything was two or three times the size of a normal person's things. Even for Dudley, the stool felt small, and Harry and Hermione's feet dangled far from the floor.
Though expanded, the hut only had one room. Hams and pheasants hung from the ceiling. A copper kettle hissed over the fire. A huge bed covered in a patchwork quilt stood in a corner. Next to the table lay a very large, fierce-looking dog. This was Fang, Hagrid's pet. Despite his appearance, he was a giant coward. He lifted his head to glance at the visitors, decided they weren't a threat, and went back to sleep.
"This is Hermione," Harry introduced.
"Hello, hello," Hagrid said, busy boiling water in a large teapot and setting out some rock-like, basin-sized biscuits on a platter.
These so-called "biscuits" lived up to their name. They had a tough-sounding name and a even tougher-to-eat reality: Rock Cakes.
Hermione and Harry didn't want to be rude, so they each took one, thinking it was just a particularly large pastry. They bit down.
"So hard..."
They nearly broke their back molars. It felt less like a biscuit and more like an actual rock. Harry discreetly put his back on the plate. Hermione tried to do the same, but Hagrid caught her eye.
"Don't you like the biscuits?" he asked, looking a bit crestfallen. Rock Cakes were the best thing he had to offer.
"I think..." Hermione hesitated. She didn't want to hurt his feelings, but she also didn't want to break her teeth. She struggled to find the right words.
Crunch... crunch, crunch, crunch.
Suddenly, a grating noise filled the air. It sounded like someone was sharpening a knife or sawing wood. Hermione stared in amazement at Dudley, who was happily chewing, having already eaten half of his Rock Cake.
She was beyond shocked. She remembered her father's assessment of Dudley's teeth: They aren't teeth; they're hydraulic presses. I've never seen anything he couldn't bite through. She thought her dad was exaggerating, but it was all true.
"These biscuits are great. I really like them."
Dudley finished his Rock Cake slowly, evaluating it with a satisfied expression. "You've got a real talent for cooking, Hagrid."
He had finally found it. The perfect substitute for tough bread—a new chew toy! It was the Rock Cake!
"Really? I'm so happy! I thought my cooking was no good," Hagrid said, beaming like a child who had just been praised. He then looked at Hermione, or more specifically, at the Rock Cake in her hand. He wanted more praise.
"I'm... on a diet, and Dudley loves these!" Hermione blurted out, quickly recovering. She shoved her half-eaten Rock Cake—which only had a slight indent where she'd tried to bite it—into Dudley's hand. She knew she could never eat that thing.
I am a genius, she thought to herself.
Dudley accepted it without a fuss. He hadn't gotten his fill from just one. He took the half-eaten Rock Cake Hermione had given him and started chewing. "I like this taste very much," he said, and it wasn't clear if he meant the food or something else.
Hermione's face flushed a deep red, an idea suddenly dawning on her.
It was a simple visit. The three of them had a great time chatting about Hogwarts life. When it was time to leave for dinner, Dudley said goodbye to Hagrid, but not before asking for a large bag of Rock Cakes. They were his precious new chew toys.
Hagrid was delighted that his cooking had been appreciated, but he was also a little sad that he didn't have anything better to offer them. He said his goodbyes with a heavy heart.
Was Hagrid poor?
Dudley didn't think so. In fact, he might have been the richest man at Hogwarts. The hut might look shabby, but many of the seemingly ordinary things inside were worth a fortune. For example, Fang's dog bed was woven from unicorn hair, which was worth thousands of Galleons. If everything in the hut was sold, it would likely fetch tens of thousands of Galleons. Dudley was even considering if he should ask Hagrid for some things to sell for his potion supplies.