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Chapter 70 - Chapter 72 Ministry of Magic Antics

The business of selling lab equipment didn't last long. After only a week, Dudley got word from Malfoy.

"Dudley, someone reported you to the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office!"

It's a bit of a laugh, really. The Ministry of Magic has this strange—or rather, dreadfully boring—department called the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office. A lot of people hear the name and think it means wizards can't use Muggle things. But that's not quite right. It's actually meant to stop wizards from enchanting Muggle items and then selling them back to Muggles, which, as you can imagine, can lead to a few nasty accidents and breaks the International Statute of Secrecy. Ron's dad, Arthur Weasley, works there, collecting all the enchanted junk.

But since "prankster wizards" are few and far between, the office is usually pretty quiet.

"What? What's going to happen? Is Dudley going to get in trouble?" Harry asked, standing up with a worried look on his face. He was always more concerned about Dudley than himself.

Hermione calmly put down her book. "Don't worry, Harry. It's not a problem at all." The Ministry doesn't actually forbid wizards from using Muggle items. Most wizards just don't know how to use them, and they refuse to learn. So, instead of admitting their own incompetence, they just assume the Ministry has banned them, which has led to this unspoken tradition of wizards not using Muggle devices. In truth, you might get a talking-to, but it's not a crime. Hermione was right; there was nothing to worry about.

"That's right, Miss Granger. Dudley will be fine," Malfoy said. Harry was a bit miffed to hear Malfoy call him "Dudley" but quickly got over it. Their duel had done some good, at least. They still traded verbal jabs, but they weren't at each other's throats anymore.

"We probably can't keep selling those lab kits, though," Malfoy added. Someone reported them, so the Ministry had to look into it. Still, since Dudley was only a student, they probably wouldn't even give him a verbal warning.

"What?! Why not?!" Ron exclaimed. He had made a tidy little fortune selling the kits and was in a state of blissful, "I've got so much money I don't know what to do with it" shock. He was planning to buy some things for his family with it, and now it was all over? Before this, Ron could barely scrounge up a single Sickle.

"Who would do such a rotten thing?" Ron asked, absolutely furious. He'd just started to enjoy the feeling of having a bit of cash, and now it was gone.

"Who else? It had to be a dim-witted Gryffindor," Malfoy said, his nose practically in the air. "Who else would be so pathetic?" They were making a killing, so of course, people would be jealous. No one in Slytherin would dare cross Dudley, the Ravenclaws were too clever to waste their time, and the Hufflepuffs would never think of it. That left the Gryffindors. Malfoy immediately regretted saying that, as there were three Gryffindors right in front of him.

Harry didn't care if it was a Gryffindor or a Gryffin-less, he just knew someone in that blasted house had messed with his brother. He didn't know who it was, but he sat down, fuming. Hermione didn't react at all; her relationship with the other Gryffindors wasn't great anyway. Only Ron looked a bit sheepish, as he genuinely considered himself a true Gryffindor.

"It's fine. If we can't do it, we'll stop," Dudley said. "I wasn't planning on doing this forever." Dudley never intended for it to be a long-term business. It was a one-off deal. Muggle lab kits weren't some rare, classified item; other Muggle-born wizards could get their hands on them. He just wanted to make some quick money to pay for his new projects. Snape's lessons were getting harder and more advanced, and the cost of ingredients was getting ridiculous.

But just because Dudley was finished didn't mean he was going to forget about it. He wouldn't let anyone take what he'd earned. He'd get even, slowly but surely, since he had a few more years here.

As an aside, since almost all the students now had the new lab equipment, Snape had sped up his classes. They'd already finished the first-year curriculum and were starting on the second year's Potions lessons. It was safe to say this class would have the highest O.W.L.s pass rate for Potions ever. It was a true "win-win" situation for both Dudley and Snape.

The moment he decided to stop selling equipment, Dudley had already started on a new venture. His old standby: writing novels.

Wizarding entertainment was incredibly limited. Other than a handful of games, like Wizard's Chess, there was only Quidditch. Otherwise, they just read the newspaper or a book. No radio, no television, no video games—that's why Quidditch was so popular.

Dudley saw an opportunity. Everyone knows that entertainment is where the real money is. First, he needed to make a name for himself in the wizarding world, and a novel was the easiest way.

As far as Dudley knew, the most famous wizarding author was a bloke named Gilderoy Lockhart. He was so popular that almost every adult witch was a fan, and he even had a Third Class Order of Merlin. While you could get one of those by donating a ridiculous amount of Galleons to the Ministry, they were still quite rare. Newt Scamander, the famous Magizoologist, got his Second Class Order of Merlin for his book, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

Dudley had already written part of a novel called The Dragonlance Chronicles. Now all he had to do was find a publisher. He was going to give the wizarding world a taste of a D&D universe.

Since Dudley was finished with the business, no one else had a problem with it. He had found the items and come up with the idea; Ron and Malfoy were just in charge of sales and promotion. Malfoy didn't need the money, and Ron was easily satisfied. The money he had was more than enough to "splurge" for a good long while.

Only Harry was still muttering to himself, determined to find the "villain" who had reported Dudley.

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