Chuseok
The flustered teenage girl, head bowed in embarrassment, was gently led by me to the nearest convenience store.
I sat her down at one of the outdoor tables, went inside, and bought two cartons of that chocolate milk MZ kids were supposedly crazy about these days.
"Here, drink this first."
"Okay…."
Kim Yuna (15) still couldn't lift her head, her face hidden.
Sure, she was embarrassed—but was it really that bad?
So what if the dance was a little awkward? She was still young. That was only natural.
Besides, even that clumsy dance was probably better than anything I could pull off.
"Come on, lift your head. What's so embarrassing?"
"…After you laughed so hard at me?"
Well, that was… the situation was funny, okay?
I plead not guilty.
"That's different. The situation became funny because you got so embarrassed. If you'd acted confident, would I have laughed?"
No. Probably not.
…Well, maybe.
"Really…?"
"Of course. Why would I ever laugh at you?"
What reason did I have to mock some middle school girl?
If anything, I thought she was kind of cute.
I had heard that TokTik was popular among kids her age, but actually seeing it with my own eyes gave me a strange feeling.
"But unni, you're pretty… Doesn't it look ridiculous if someone like me is out there dancing?"
Hmm? So that's how she saw it.
But honestly, Yuna (15) was more than pretty enough compared to her peers.
It was only when compared to me that anyone might feel inferior. She was still too young to see it clearly.
"Listen well, Yuna. I'll give you some advice."
"Yes?"
"In all my life, I've never seen anyone prettier than me in person."
Sure, if we included people beyond the screen, it might be debatable. But in real life? I had never met anyone more beautiful than the female Soo-hyun.
"What??"
"So if you feel inferior when you look at me, that's completely normal."
Yuna (15) raised her head at last, staring at me with a baffled expression.
"What does that even mean?"
"It means you should look at yourself, not compare yourself to me."
"I know that… But what can I do when the world seems full of pretty people?"
Huh… was that what today's teens thought about?
Maybe it was better than rebellion, running away from home, or getting into fights.
But still—if she was feeling so insecure, why TokTik? We'd only met today, after all.
There had to be another reason she was dancing there.
"Why do you do TokTik?"
"Well, I…"
Yuna (15) hesitated.
Right, it was probably embarrassing to admit to a cousin she barely spoke with.
But staying silent never helped.
Everyone had burdens in their hearts. If left there, they rotted until they eventually seeped out and scarred the surface.
"Is there a reason you were more embarrassed than just getting caught dancing?"
"N-no, that's not it…."
"Then tell me. I'll listen."
I might not be as skilled as my manager—an absolute pro at soothing people—but still, even a temple dog picks up wisdom after three years. Just like my manager had learned from me, I had learned from him.
"Come on, tell me. I'm actually pretty good at listening to worries."
Not that I had much experience. But dealing with people was my job, wasn't it?
So counseling a teen should be no problem.
I watched her patiently, pressing gently until she finally caved under the pressure. At last, Kim Yuna (15) opened her mouth.
"…Because I want recognition."
"Recognition?"
"Yes…."
Recognition, huh.
That was a tough one.
Recognition had no end.
Get it from one person, and you'll crave it from two. From two, then three. It would only grow, endlessly.
For her to already be seeking that, and in such an ambiguous way from my perspective….
"But why TokTik?"
Of all things, trying to gain recognition by posting dance videos? If it were me, I'd raise my test scores.
The Kim siblings' parents weren't strict people. Quite the opposite—they were wealthy, relaxed, easygoing.
Maybe that very freedom had left room for a little rebellion.
But Yuna's (15) answer was different.
"Actually… my dream is to be a dancer."
"Oh…."
That wasn't rebellion at all.
A dancer, huh? From my perspective—squirming in anticipation of starting dance lessons once Chuseok was over—that was impressive.
"But my parents are against it… They say it's a starving job, and that I should look into something else."
So even those easygoing parents drew the line at their middle school daughter becoming a dancer.
Well, among adults, what kind of recognition did dancers really get?
To them, dancers were just the ones behind singers on TV.
Although, lately, it had become more mainstream….
"So I thought… if I could earn recognition from people on TokTik, maybe my parents would at least acknowledge it too."
"Wow."
Impressive.
So that was her reason?
I had thought it was just some frivolous teen thing.
But no—she was acting on her dream.
"Yuna, that's amazing. You're taking action."
What had I been doing at her age? Right—spending all my time in comic book stores with my buddies.
Meanwhile, here she was, working for her dream already.
How could I not open my wallet?
I reflexively reached for it.
But then—
Thud.
Yuna's (15) small hand landed on my arm, stopping me.
"Um… you don't need to give me more allowance. I already got plenty."
"Oh, really?"
I had given her a lot, sure, but was it enough to refuse more?
She must've also received money from other relatives. Still, wasn't this the age where no amount of money ever felt like enough?
"This is from me supporting you. Can't you accept it in that spirit?"
"A-ah… No, really, it's fine…."
"But you've got plenty to spend on, don't you?"
Listen here—when an adult insists this much, the polite thing to do is accept.
I was about to force the cash into her pocket when a thought struck me.
Was money really the only thing I could give her?
I wasn't some retired old man. Surely there was another way to help.
Nothing huge—just a gentle push.
Yes, there was one thing I could do.
"In that case… how about I help you in another way?"
"Huh?"
"That TokTik thing—you just need your parents to acknowledge you, right?"
"Well… yeah, I guess."
As if her parents' generation would know anything about TokTik.
Still, if lots of people watched it, they might think it meant something.
And from my perspective, there was something far more eye-catching than a middle school girl's clumsy dance clip.
"Then how about I appear in one of your videos? I'll help draw some attention."
Wasn't the situation perfect?
A moonlit alley, a teenage girl just entering puberty, and her stunning older cousin standing beside her on camera.
Wouldn't that be downright romantic?
It wasn't like it was national TV—it was just TokTik. Being in one video wouldn't kill me.
Besides, I wasn't even wearing makeup and had just woken up.
Sure, my base looks made me prettier than most, but no one would recognize me like this.
"R-really?"
Kim Yuna (15)'s eyes widened in shock, clearly overwhelmed by the offer.
She liked it that much? Well, I was basically a cheat code.
Of course, it could just fizzle into nothing. But if it caught on, even a little, it would be enough to pull some eyes her way.
Naturally, it would then be Yuna's job to keep those viewers.
Or maybe the comments would just fill with, Where's that cousin unni? before it died off.
But that was still better than letting the opportunity pass.
"Yeah, I'll help you out once."
"Really? Do you know any dances?"
Uh…
"I can't dance."
"…What?"
"Honestly, I'm hopeless at it."
Strictly speaking, I didn't know if I was completely hopeless, but I couldn't move like a dancer.
You needed muscle control for that.
"Th-then what do we do?"
Hmm… I couldn't dance. Not even close.
Even if I tried to learn something simple on the spot, I wouldn't manage.
In that case…
"How about this instead?"
Who said it had to be dancing?
So that night, under the moonlight and the glow of headlights, I ended up filming an unexpected video with my younger cousin.
**
The next morning.
When I woke up, a message was waiting for me from a very unexpected sender.
(Lee Hyun-jun): Have a good holiday.
(Lee Hyun-jun): (gift)
(Lee Hyun-jun): I'm sending this so you don't starve just because you couldn't stream. Don't take it the wrong way lol.
A holiday gift.
From none other than Lee Hyun-jun himself.
And not just any gift, but a luxury set of Korean beef that screamed "expensive."
Wow. So this was what it felt like to receive something like that.
Somehow, getting a present on the holiday put me in a great mood.
As expected of an idol—he knew how to win people over.
I should learn from that. After all, wasn't I a (virtual) idol too?
I sent him my thanks, then immediately bought the same kind of beef set he'd sent me.
What else was money for, if not for moments like this?
I sent them to all the people who'd helped me.
Hye-jung got one as a courtesy, then the other Heaven's Realm members, plus Hyun-su, A-young, Kang-hyuk, the band members, and even the composers.
And of course, my manager, who I owed more than I could say.
It cost me a fortune in an instant, but the satisfaction was indescribable.
Yes. This was what it meant to give back.
If you earned money, you had to know how to spend it.
As for Lee Hyun-jun… wasn't he from The Beasts? Or Beastz? Some famous idol group like that.
I guess that was a connection of sorts.
Maybe there was a way he could help my cousin someday… but no.
We weren't close enough for that. It would be reckless to push it.
For now, Kim Yuna (15) needed to grow on her own, with just a little help from me.
If she made it, then great. If not, then it wasn't her path.
Besides, after that exhausting shoot last night, she'd had enough for now.
After answering thank-you messages from everyone who got my gifts, I stepped into the living room.
"My daughter, who never showed it, brought me something after all," boasted Manager Kim proudly, showing off Moon Chang-sik's autograph to the relatives.
Normally he was a bit stiff, but surrounded by his siblings under one roof, he looked more lively.
"Wow, I'm jealous. Soo-hyun, you can get autographs like that?"
"What did you say again? You met him while working, right?"
"Work?? What kind of work does Soo-hyun do?"
"I'm not sure, but anyway, my wife and I got these autographs thanks to her…."
Uh, wait.
Manager Kim, how far are you going to talk?
It was technically true, but what would the relatives think if they heard it that way?
And just like that, all eyes in the living room turned toward me.
Today was supposed to be the day everyone went home… so why this trial now?
Chuseok really never let its guard down.
Overwhelmed, I shut my eyes tightly against the dizziness.
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