A pulsating knot of pain. My pain. How could I restore the fragile trust in this new, unfamiliar world?
"Everything is so confusing," I finally replied. "Can I open the window?"
"Yes, of course."
I pressed the button, and the glass slowly descended. The crisp winter air rushed into the car, cooling my mind. I closed my eyes and tried to dissolve into the moment, to merge with the flow of wind, to become just as light. But it didn't work. There could be no peace until I faced the beast hidden deep inside, waiting for its time.
"I talked to my father this morning. Vladimir thinks you're on the path to healing, like Mom and Nikita, but we can both see that isn't the case," she said, glancing away from the road and giving a quick nod toward my claws. "If you want, I could…"
Diana bit her lip, as if the words had slipped out without thinking.
"Could what?"
"Give you my venom. Right now," Smirnova said sharply, and despite the dim lighting in the car, I could swear Diana had blushed.
"Do you think that's a good idea?" A flicker of doubt crept into my mind. Until today, the venom sometimes helped dull the changes, to restrain the spirit inside, but I also knew it altered Kaandor.
"Honestly? I don't know. But what other options do we have? I can take you as far as I can from crowds of people, but I am powerless against the transformation. Even though I stood confidently next to Viola, she's right: I can't oppose the essence inside you alone."
"Then why did you agree if you understood?" Diana's frank words only made the tension thicker. The deceptive calm her presence brought dissolved without a trace, returning me to the thought that Smirnova herself was in danger while I was near her, trapped in this box of plastic and metal. I should have listened to Viola instead of getting into Diana's car.
Diana gripped the wheel tighter and pressed the gas.
"Because I don't want things to end badly. Viola can defend herself far better than I can. If necessary, she could, for the family's safety, turn everything around into ruins with one spell. But that's the problem: I can't be a hundred percent sure she won't accidentally hurt you, weighing the pros and cons. Viola might decide you're too dangerous, and then I'd lose you."
"I'm glad you care about me, but that's no reason to put your own head under the guillotine!" I snapped, realizing how readily Diana was willing to sacrifice herself if fate had a painful lesson waiting around the corner.
The tips of my fingers burned with a surge of energy. Under my skin, it itched, and I tried to straighten my fingers, tensing them fully—but it didn't help. My claws grew longer, and I realized—this was a bad, very bad sign.
"I'm not putting my head under anything! What if the venom really helps? It's the only way we have right now," Diana said before I could answer, opening her mouth to reveal sharp fangs. Vampire fangs. She pressed the pad of her thumb against one tooth and gave a quiet gasp. The pearlescent liquid glowed like neon and trickled down her skin, disappearing under the sleeve of her jacket.
"Let's start small," Diana said, holding her hand out to me, offering me the liquid to lick. It didn't look particularly aesthetic, but the shimmering venom drew me in. It called to me, demanding contact, and for the first time, I wondered what vampire venom might taste like. Before, it had been injected directly into my muscles; now, I had the chance to take it in a completely different way.
"Come on," Diana urged. "Stop hesitating, or it'll seep under the skin."
I looked closely and did see how the thin lines, more like a web, spread out, breaking the outline and being absorbed under Diana's skin. Fearing the venom might be limited, I carefully took her hand, gently clasping her wrist with my fingers, and with the tip of my tongue began to draw the viscous liquid. I noticed no flavor at first, just touching her cold skin, but once I swallowed the first portion and moistened my tongue with saliva, multicolored sparks flickered before my eyes, and a wave of new sensation washed over my consciousness.
It was so pleasurable that I wanted more immediately, to make sure the effect came from Diana's venom and not something else, something unknown to me, unformulated in the halls of my mind. I couldn't fully extend Diana's palm, so I plunged my thumb into my mouth briefly, collecting the rest. The salty taste was so intense I wanted to wash it away with water, but alongside it came a thirst. My throat constricted, like a barbed wire scraping painfully across soft flesh, bringing both pain and pleasure. Breathing became difficult, and the lights before my eyes began a wild dance, making it impossible to focus on anything around me. With effort, I managed to inhale. Not even a second passed before my head was intoxicated by the metallic salty smell. Could it really smell like that in a car?
"Asya, what's wrong? Do you feel worse?" I felt Diana ease off the gas and smack her lips, and the scent in the car grew even stronger.
"What…," I began slowly, words struggling to form, "does this… smell like?"
My neck stiffened. I wanted to turn to Diana, but I had lost control over my own body. Waves of power spread beneath my skin. My bones hummed, and then I fully realized that I was changing right here, in the car. Through the low hum, I heard Diana sniff loudly, trying to identify the source of the smell:
"Oh, that? I cut my finger by accident while squeezing the venom. Nothing, it'll heal soon."
"Nothing," I muttered.