"You have a cat now!?" Patrick gasps the moment I open the door to my apartment. "you really are a lost cause now. No woman on her sane mind would date a cat guy."
I look at the cat, Bertha's cat, then at Patrick casually lounging on my couch. This cat may be exactly what I need to keep him from pestering me about my non existent love life, but a cat is too much responsibility. Then the picture of my cat eating Bob, not me but my fish who is also named Bob, while I work shatters the dream of a peaceful life.
"It's not mine, I'm just taking this little fellow to the shelter. I don't think he and Bob will get along." I say as I sprinkle the fish tank with fish feed.
My friends pushed me to get a pet saying I would be lonely after coming home to an empty apartment everyday, but I wish that was the case instead of Patrick making himself comfortable with my groceries. At first I wasn't too convinced about having a fish tank in my apartment, but now I'm grateful to my friends for suggesting it. Bob is quiet, doesn't bother me and cleaning his tank every once in a while clears my head. I also like the way he says our name after I feed him.
"Whew! You had me worried for a second there." Patrick says with a bit too much excitement.
"No."
"What? I didn't say anything."
"You were about to tell me how you met the perfect match for me. The answer is no."
"When have I ever!?" He lounged back fake offended then shook his head. "whatever, that's not the case."
"Then you were about to invite me out, then ambush me with a blind date."
"You're reading too much into things."
"Am I wrong though?"
"Yes!" He declares leaving me stunned in place. My mind spun as I recalled all the times something similar happened before. The pattern checked out which meant he was either lying to me or I really was wrong.
"What it is then? And don't tell me I'm imagining things." I stare at him, the kind of stare that always made him sweat cold.
"Fine! There's a woman and she's perfect..."
"I knew it." I grumble.
"But she's not for you, she's for me. I'm serious Bob, I think I found the one." Patrick dramatically drops on the couch as if hit by an invisible arrow.
"You always say the same thing."
"It's different now." Patrick proceeded to tell me all the generic things that made this woman perfect. I usually ignore it, but knowing he is the one interested in her I actually pay attention. She's a school teacher with a kind heart, already breaking his usual pattern of dating only based on appearances. He also mentioned how easy it is to talk with her and how she's not interested in money at all. The last part informed me of what he wanted from me.
"So you want to introduce her to me so I can tell whether she's lying or not about being interested in money."
"No." He shook his head. I'm really off my game today.
"The thing is, she refuses to meet in person unless I bring a friend," He made a pause when he noticed the face of disgust I made then hurriedly corrected himself. "it's not that! She says she doesn't feel safe dating with a stranger and she wants to bring a friend along. In other words, a first double date."
"I refuse."
"Come on, Bob! Harris is busy and I think Peter is seeing someone already. Please, just this once..."
"I don't know, I'm not looking for something at this moment and I need to take Mr. Mittens to the shelter." I shook my head.
"You don't have to click with her friend. Just be yourself and have fun."
"Fine, but you'll owe me one. Just let me know when before hand so..." Patrick hugs me before I finish speaking and then spits.
"It's right now, we're running late already. I'll hold them off while you change."
Patrick left the apartment with a smile as if he just won the lottery and arrived shortly after at the restaurant where two women waited by the entrance. The one in the left was dressed modestly with a long skirt and a shawl grandmothers would envy. She had a kind face and a genuine smile stuck on her face that made her squint her eyes. The one in the right was taller and was dressed in a tight red dress that complimented her exuberant body and a V cut that acted as a test to a man's restrain. None of them seemed impressed by the sports car that pulled out, but the woman in red seemed surprised when she saw Patrick.
"Really? That kind of guy?" She scoffed.
"I always nag you to go out of your comfort zone so I figured I could do the same." Maggie replied with a chuckle.
"Sorry ladies, my friend came late from work but he'll be here shortly." Patrick said as he escorted them both inside.
The appetizers arrived at the same time Patrick realized one of them was underdressed and the other overdressed, which meant he picked the wrong place for a first date. It was an off start, but things only got worse from that point on. Talking with Maggie was easy, but her friend rebuffed even small talk with absolute disinterest. Patrick thought things could not get any worse, but the moment Bob showed up he realized he was mistaken.
"What in the heck are you doing?" Patrick said after greeting me at the entrance.
"You said I needed to change clothes, I just picked whatever was comfortable." I point to flower stamped shirt.
"You brought the cat!?"
"I told you I needed to take him to a Shelter, but you insisted I should come here. I figured I could save some time by bringing him and the restaurant said they were good with it." I shrug again.
"Hey, this is my friend Bob..." Patrick began apologizing but didn't make it to the 'sorry'.
"A kitty!" The woman in dress almost jumped out from her seat. "what's this handsome fellow's name?"
"I'm Bob." The joke went ignored. I shrug the cold reaction off and take a seat expecting to get my groceries' worth out of Patrick's wallet today.
"You beautiful genius." Patrick whispers to me before sitting down.
The evening progressed with Patrick and Maggie chatting merrily while me and the woman now I know is named Tasha just focus on our meals. Many people would feel awkward in the silence, but It suits me well as I get to enjoy the meal in peace without pretending to care to what a strangers says or making conversation about things I don't care.
"Patrick mentioned you're an agent, Bob." Maggie said trying to fill the silence on our side of the table.
"He is! He's faced many dangerous situations in his life. Criminals all over the city shake in fear when they hear his name because he's caught so many of them."
"Wow! You must be very brave!" Maggie clapped softly to emphasize her point.
"It's nothing like that. I'm just a 9 to 5 desk agent." I say without caring to stop eating.
"He's just being humble." Patrick says to the woman in red, but she replied with a mean glare.
"There's nothing humble about an office job, it's the backbone of society."
"Yeah, just because we can be replaced doesn't make our job any less important." I jump into the first chance I have to stand up for my career choice in front of Patrick.
"We may not make much, but it's compensated by the benefits and the security."
"Stability is nothing to scoff at." I nod.
Patrick looks at me like I betrayed him then at Maggie who awkwardly explained.
"Tasha works an office job too. That's why I thought they would get along."
The rest of the night turned out to be quite enjoyable for me. I got to put Patrick in his place for the first time in a while and speaking to Tasha's turned out to be more pleasing than I expected. We named our favorite stationary brands and complained about the cheap stuff the standard issue the government provides. She also grumbled about a new hire that was making life difficult for her and I genuinely sympathized with her. I had a lot of fun, so much that time passed without me noticing. As a responsible adult I have to put the blame where it belongs, clocks. They really are evil.
"Do you have to leave already?" Maggie asks dejected for no apparent reason.
"It's not that, I just realized I won't be able to drop the cat off tonight." I sigh.
"I can take him...," Tasha said in what could pass for shyness. "if it's all the same to you, I can adopt him." And the night went on without a worry until it really was time for me to leave.
"Maybe it's the drinks talking, but I have to admit it, Patrick. You were right, I really had fun today." I said with a smile as I left him with the sizeable bill he promised to cover.