"AHHHH!!! YOUNG MASTER!!!! PLEASE SPARE ME!!!!"
Loud. Full of pain. Pleading for mercy and forgiveness… none of which I plan to give.
In the underground prison right under Chi Lou, dark, only one light hangs, barely illuminating the empty space with iron rods.
29 dead bodies lay lifeless in a pool of blood, 50 guards standing behind me like my shadow. My pale bare upper body carries wet patches of blood, my black leather gloves slippery around the 51st hockey stick, blood dripping slowly from its edge.
"I DIDN'T MEAN TO HARM YO—"
I swing my hand again, this time the man's jaw breaks.
My voice is cold, icy, "You joined under me under the command of my uncle, manipulated my accounts which almost dragged me to court."
Stepping on the man's broken jaw, I crash his face mercilessly against the stone floor drenched in crimson.
"YOUNG MASTER!!! PLEASE!!! I HAVE A FAMILY TO RETURN!!!"
Family to return…
I taste metal inside my mouth, my mind numb like never before.
Part of it is related to how she refused to acknowledge whatever happened between us after kissing my scars like they are badges of bravery, medals of my survival…
Part of it is related to how I have entered Chi Lou's underground prison made of stone walls and floors with 20 prison cells.
No window, no light. Damp from underground humidity.
And I killed 29 spies I found out had joined hands with my uncle and brother to sell my information.
Is it cruel?
It is.
But death is the only punishment for betrayal of the Laurent family.
"You have a family to return," my voice drops cold, rough with unshed emotions. "And the person I want to have a family with walked away… erasing me like I'm a mistake she regrets."
The man twitches in pain, blood oozing from his smashed skull, and with a painful grunt.
I throw my head back, staring at the rough surface of the stone ceiling under which a light flickers almost mockingly.
The smell of flesh and blood makes my stomach turn.
Her vanilla, somewhat brown-sugary fragrance is innocent, soft, harmless, while this metallic, rough smell of blood surrounding me is anything but innocent and harmless.
"You killed 30 men today. It's going to be a huge deal cleaning it up," Nikolai says as guards start taking dead bodies one by one.
"They chose betrayal and I gave them the result," I say coldly, my eyes still closed, remembering the curve of her smile, the cold dismissal in her eyes when they looked into mine this morning.
Nikolai silently pads around the dead bodies.
"All of them have served your uncle and brother for a long time. They are probably pulling their hair in frustration," Nikolai smirks, kicking one of the bodies.
I throw the hockey stick on the ground, walking to the small round table where a sinful amber is waiting for me in a glass with ice—a momentary escape from my life.
I sip the whiskey and my chest and throat burn, but I don't stop.
"Ron," Nikolai frowns, "you look weird."
I blink slowly, "How so?"
Of course I look weird.
I have drenched myself in blood after drenching myself in her warmth last night.
This feels like a bitter, humiliating red pill shoved down my throat.
"Alister is going to throw a fist for—" Nikolai's eyes linger on the blood trail, "the chaos you created. Your uncle will get him since you have gone undercover."
"Let him. He should know… if I can kill 30 with my hand," I say cold and ruthless, my eyes stuck on the amber liquid in my hand, "I can kill 300 more he sends my way."
Nikolai smirks and shakes his head in amusement, saying something under his breath in Russian.
"Oh, I heard you ended up hooking up with that girl from yesterday?"
I freeze, my jaw clicking tight. Of course he knows that.
Liah was there, she must have told Li Zhao, and Li Zhao, being overexcited by my first time taking someone to bed willingly, must have marketed it within the circle.
"Also she left in the morning after dumping you, isn't that right?"
I throw the glass in my hand across the floor, causing it to shatter in pieces.
Nikolai looks at me weirdly, his hands tucked in his pocket. "That's too violent of you."
A mocking laugh leaves my lips, my blood running hot and alive, my gloves slippery and sleek.
Yet all I remember is her saying everything last night was a mistake, we are a mistake, I am a mistake.
She asked me to behave like a dignified man at work and forget everything.
I turn over the wooden table and throw the chair at one of the jail cells, making the room vibrate.
Guards who are taking dead bodies out freeze instantly.
Nikolai gasps and walks toward me with two big strides, "AARON! HAVE YOU GONE NUTS!"
"She said everything was a mistake…" I whisper darkly, my hands itching.
Nikolai rubs his face in frustration and annoyance. "She was drunk, Ron! Of course it was a mistake—"
"IT WAS NOT A FUCKING MISTAKE!"
I finally raise my voice, which only echoes like a reminder of what a mess I have become.
I, Aaron William Laurent, who has been known for being the most cold-blooded bastard…
I have lost my composure and sanity.
"What will you do?" Nikolai grabs my collar and jerks me angrily. "What will you do if she doesn't want you?"
"Then… I will make her want me," I say. Nikolai's pupils dilate. A cruel, dark reminder of the man I am beneath all control, discipline, mask…
"I let her go because that was the right thing to do at that moment." That's right. I didn't let go of her because I gave up.
Never.
Nikolai looks at me like he's seen a man he doesn't recognize. As if the man before him isn't the Aaron he's known for decades.
His grip around my collar loosens, his face goes pale reading the line of madness on my face.
"You will force her?" he asks, almost furious. Nikolai is never a fan of forcing a woman. Nor am I.
"You can't force someone to want you, Ron! You're fucking smarter than that!" He groans, annoyed, stepping away from my personal space. His hands flex but I don't care.
"I can force her to need me and that's enough." I say, looking into his amber eyes burning with disbelief.
"That's madness, not love!" he declares, voice loud and piercing.
For a moment I don't say anything…
Because honestly…
I never needed her to love me.
I need her to need me, I need her to look at me like I'm the only constant in her life, I need her to reach for me in danger…
"Then let it be madness," I say cold and certain, "because Nova Celestia has become the only madness I will willingly let myself burn for."