Chapter 05 – Threads of Madness
Ron stared at the restored Wizard Wear Monthly lying on his desk. Last time, the system had faithfully dragged it forward to July 1989, and the fashion inside had been… well, let's just say if clowns ever decided to wage war, they'd be wearing robes like these. He rubbed his temple. "Merlin's pants… this is not fashion. This is punishment."
But the thought didn't leave him alone. What if the system could jump further? What if wizarding fashion caught up—no, grew up—with time? He grabbed the battered Wizard Wear Monthly again.
[Input: Wizard Wear Monthly (restored pristine copy, June 1989)]
Date of production: 14th June, 1989.
Process: Restoration + Knowledge Extraction.
Time: 00:01:02
Status: Accepted.
Enter new date of production: ...…
Ron smirked. "Alright, let's see what 1995 wizard fashion looks like."
The timer ticked down. His heart beat with excitement—until the magazine reformed in his hand, glossy and whole. He flipped it open.
And froze.
What awaited him inside was a horror show. Shoulder pads that could take flight, robes cut in jagged strips like some deranged scarecrow's uniform, cloaks so long they'd trip you three corridors before the destination. It was as if someone had taken Victorian theater costumes, spun them in a washing machine, and called it innovation.
"Who wears this?" Ron muttered. "Is this a fashion magazine or a comedy sketch?"
Fred's voice drifted from the doorway. "Talking to your books again, Ronnie?"
Ron snapped it shut. "It's called reading. You two should try it sometime."
George leaned against the wall, grinning. "Why bother? We have you. Tell us, what's the wizarding world wearing in your little books? Something dashing?"
Ron scowled. "If by dashing you mean looking like a walking curtain rod, then yes."
The twins burst into laughter, nearly doubling over. Ginny peeked in, clutching her tattered Harry Potter storybook. "Curtains? Like Mum's?"
Ron waved her off. "Go read your heroics, Gin. This is grown-up stuff."
Still chuckling, Fred and George left, tossing over their shoulders: "Well, at least you've finally found your calling—Wizard Fashion Critic Weasley!"
Ron sighed, muttering, "Critic, yes. Wearer? Never."
He wasn't done though. He grabbed one of the Muggle Vogue issues he'd sneaked from Ottery with the twins' help. "Alright, Muggle world, don't fail me now."
[Input: Vogue Fashion Magazine (restored pristine copy, June 1989)]
Date of production: 14th June, 1989.
Process: Restoration + Knowledge Extraction.
Time: 00:01:10
Status: Accepted.
Enter new date of production: ...…
"Let's try… 1995," Ron said.
The magazine shimmered and reformed. He flipped it open cautiously. Relief washed over him. Sleek cuts, simple patterns, denim, leather jackets, bold yet wearable designs—ah, this was sanity. "Finally, something humans can wear without looking like circus rejects."
He compared the two side by side. Muggle fashion evolved like a steady river—predictable curves, trends that built on each other. Wizarding fashion? A chaotic storm, throwing lightning bolts of nonsense every decade.
"This is madness," Ron muttered. "One side is walking the runway, the other's running away from common sense."
Still, curiosity gnawed at him. What if he kept nudging the wizard magazine forward? He fed the same Wizard Wear Monthly again, this time choosing 1999. The result? Even more bizarre. Pointed boots taller than gnome houses, sleeve ruffles that could smother a small child, color clashes that made his eyes hurt.
Ron slammed the magazine shut. "Enough. Even Picasso would say what the hell."
He tried sketching something better himself, quill scratching over parchment. Maybe he could design a sane wizard robe? But he quickly realized he had no sense of tailoring, cuts, or cloth. His drawings looked like stick figures wearing tablecloths. He tossed the parchment aside.
"Fine. I'll play your game, fashion. But I'll figure you out."
And so began his experiment. Every day, he changed the Daily Prophet to the current date, so he'd never miss news, even with only one copy.
[Input: Daily Prophet (restored pristine copy, 3rd July 1989) ]
Date of production: 11th June, 1980.
Process: Restoration + Knowledge Extraction.
Time: 00:00:49
Status: Accepted.
New date of production: 5th July, 1989.
The paper flickered and changed, fresh headlines blooming across it. "Brilliant," Ron whispered. "One paper, infinite updates. Eat that, Percy."
But fashion… that was another battlefield. He dragged both wizard and Muggle magazines through consecutive years, like flipping through a time-lapse of human folly and human sense. The Muggle side he could follow—the wizard side? No chance.
After a week of frustration, Ron finally slammed the latest wizarding rag shut. "Enough! Are wizards allergic to progress?!"
He rubbed his face, then muttered, "Oi, System. You listening? Can you please explain why wizarding fashion looks like a troll designed it?"
Silence.
He tried again. "System, respond. Answer. Blink twice if you're alive."
Nothing. The room was still, save for the faint buzz of a ghoul in the attic.
Ron groaned, leaning back. "Great. I've got the most powerful system in the world… and it's a brick. No voice, no advice, no witty AI companion. Just input, output, done."
Still, the thought wouldn't leave him. Maybe… maybe it could tell him about himself? He smirked, deciding to gamble. "Alright then. System, show me my status."
And to his shock—
[User: Ronald Bilius Weasley]
Age: 9 years, 11 months
Condition: Healthy
Innate Magic Potential: Medium-High
Knowledge:
- Wizarding Culture: Intermediate
- Muggle Basics: Intermediate
- Miscellaneous: Beginner
- Fashion Sense: Beginner
- Drawing: Beginner
- Political Sense: Beginner
- Business Sense: Beginner
Inventory:
- Chocolate Frog Card Collection
- Wizard Wear Monthly (restored pristine copy)
- Muggle Fashion Magazine (restored pristine copy)
- Daily Prophet (restored pristine copy)
- Quill
- Ink
- Parchment
System Functions:
- Restoration
- Knowledge Extraction
- Date Manipulation
Ron blinked. Then a grin split across his face. "Well, well, well. Finally, something useful."