After saying this, she opened the door, and the curtains came back into view. What she had just said was horrible, but what made it worse was that she started smiling as soon as she finished saying those words, as if my expression amused her, as if she found the whole situation funny.
We were just starting to leave when a familiar voice let us know that our little secret getaway had not gone unnoticed.
- Eye! Why is the Rookie up here? And more importantly, what are you doing coming out of Thing's room? - It was the first time I had ever seen Nanny angry, and it wasn't a pleasant scene.
- Shit, - said Eye. - Who ratted us out? -
- Good heavens, Eye, I told you you couldn't do this anymore! He wasn't ready to see this. -
I heard the doors begin to open slowly, and an enormous amount of power began to pour out of them, hitting me like a wave of heat. Suddenly, I felt dizzy and had to lean against a wall to keep from falling.
- All of you! - Nanny shouted. - Close the doors. There's nothing to see here. -
Following her instructions, the doors began to close and the amount of power decreased again. Enough so that I could stand on my own two feet again.
- And you, why did you come here? - She was now addressing me. - The rules are quite clear, and you didn't break a single rule. You came and broke three rules in a row! What do you have to say in your defense? -
- I just wanted to know the truth. -
- Well, I hope you're happy! - She was almost shouting.
- I know it's your first day, but I'm going to have to punish you. You're going to stay in your room until tomorrow and you won't get any dinner. That goes for you too, Eye, so you better go to your room right now. -
With that, she led me down the hallway, pulling me by the arm to some stairs I had already seen from the TV room, which I assumed were the main stairs. She took me to my room and locked me in there.
I stood there in my room for a while, a chill ran through my body, and a complete loneliness flooded me, combined with great despair. I wanted to cry from the sheer desperation I felt. I wanted to scream. I wanted to hit something, anything. I wanted to take it out on someone. I wanted to take it out on the whole world. I wanted to take it out on my own fate.
I was angry because I couldn't do anything, and that same anger turned into sadness.
I felt it in my throat, suffocating me to the point that I couldn't resist and began to cry. I cried because of my helplessness in the situation, I cried because I would never see my family again, I cried because I would never leave the house again, and I cried because I was condemned to suffer until I died.
I felt the despair growing to the point that I wanted to vomit, to the point that my head hurt from crying so much, to the point that I was so tired that no more tears came out.
I spent a long time like this, cursing everyone, cursing the world, cursing luck, cursing fate, and cursing this house and everyone in it, because if they continued to suffer, it meant that I would also continue to suffer until the end. I was truly damned.
I was so desperate that I couldn't think. I closed my eyes tightly, clenched my teeth, and simply lay down, clutching my knees and wishing with all my might that I were dead.
I lay there for a long time, at least a couple of hours, but since there was no clock in this room, I couldn't really know. I was tired, I couldn't sleep no matter how hard I tried, and I couldn't cry anymore, but I was still deeply depressed. I heard someone knocking on the door, but I didn't want to move.
- Go away, - I shouted.
I wanted to get it off my chest, so I said it with all the anger I still felt. I really didn't want to see anyone, at least not anyone from this place. If only I could only see my mother one mor time, or my dad, or my friends.
Just thinking about it made me feel worse again, forced to suffer, destined to live with constant pain until the end of my days, condemned to live in a house full of cursed monsters.
- It's me, Sleepy, - said the voice on the other side of the door. - Nanny asked me to bring you your food. -
- Go away, - I shouted again.
I was hungry, I hadn't really had breakfast, but at that moment I didn't care. Maybe it would be better to starve to death than to live this horrible life.
- Don't be like that, we all have our problems, but it's okay. -
What the hell is he saying? Does he really think our situations are remotely similar? Doesn't he know that my skin burns so much that without the suit, the air would hurt me just by touching it?
- What do you know about anything? You're just an idiot brat. -
- Is that what you think?- He shouted. -Then stay in that room as long as you want, you jerk. Cry all you want stupid moron. -
I could hear him leave something in front of the door and hear his footsteps as he walked away.
Maybe I went a little too far. In the end, he was just a kid. I instantly regretted what I had said to literally one of the few people who had been kind to me. I wanted to apologize, but part of me was still angry, and that part won out.
After a while, my hunger overcame my pride, and I opened the door. There was the food, along with two boxes of juice.
I took it in and ate it at the table.
It tasted like nothing, at least nothing good. It tasted weird, at least, and not exactly pleasant. It was so cold when I ate it that it even made me a little disgusted to keep eating, but I was so hungry that I didn't care.
I lay back down on the bed after eating and stayed there, going over everything that had happened once more. I couldn't remember all the names of the people I had met, even though there weren't that many. There was the guy at breakfast who got mad at me, Strong, the intimidating guy who was with Eye, Eye, the doll named Thing, Sleepy, Nanny, the doctor, and that man who was sleeping on the couch.
When we were upstairs, there were many rooms, which means there are at least a dozen cursed in this place, and I've only met a small fraction of them. But if I count the cursed, I've met, there are actually only five, not counting myself.
"All de powers are horrible"
The elevator music kept playing, and I was getting desperate.
Hours passed, and Sleepy didn't come back. The more time went by, the worse I felt for taking it out on a kid who hadn't really done anything wrong to me, who had simply brought me my food and shown me around.
Finally, I heard someone else knocking on the door.
- Can I come in? - It was Nanny's voice.
I was still a little upset, but I had no intention of continuing to piss people off.
- Do what you want, - I said, still a little annoyed.
The door opened slowly and Nanny entered the room little by little. I didn't want to turn around to look at her, so I decided to turn my back and look out the window instead.
There was a brief silence, as if she didn't know what to say.
- I know that in the last few days your life has changed completely from what you knew, - she finally said in a calm voice, - but that's no reason to misbehave. I know you're a good and intelligent boy, so I'd like to know what the problem is. -
She spoke calmly, but my emotions continued to swirl inside me, increasing with each word. I could feel them wanting to explode, and when she said that last part, I could no longer maintain the attitude of antipathy I had been feigning.
- What's the problem? What ISN'T the problem? - I shouted. I was so upset that I couldn't reason and just yelled without even turning to look at her. - I don't know if you've noticed, but this is torture. I can't see my family, I can't see my friends, I haven't even been able to say goodbye to my parents, and I'll probably never see them again. Instead, I'm locked up in some kind of asylum for monsters where I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life sharing a floor with people as miserable as me, suffering every moment of every day. My life is over. I'll never be able to go to college, I'll never be able to have a girlfriend, I'll never be able to get married or have children. Fuck, I won't even be able to touch another person again. I'll never be able to get a hug from my mom again. I'll never be able to hold someone's hand again. The simple touch of my fucking tears burns my cheeks. -
I was screaming, but I didn't care who could hear me, I just wanted to get it all out, I didn't care anymore that it was Nanny who was taking it in.
- My whole body suffers every moment because of this curse that makes me have to wear this stupid suit all the damn time, the food tastes horrible, I haven't been able to smell anything for days, and with the suit on, I haven't been able to touch anything since I got here. So don't tell me, 'What's the problem?' -
I turned to face her, to see the scene that my words had created, and she was right there, behind me, waiting for me to turn around. Her face wasn't that of someone who was upset or angry about what I had just said. Instead, she showed me a face full of compassion and love, and she hugged me.
It felt warm, it felt soft, and in that moment I felt my whole body relax. All the anger and despair I had been carrying for hours, no, for days, transformed into a deep sadness that left my body as a cry.
And I cried deeply, I cried for everything that had happened, all the bad things that happened and all the good things that I would never feel again. I thought I couldn't cry anymore, but nevertheless I cried without tears for a long time until my heart was calm as it hadn't been since who knows when.
- Aren't you afraid I might kill you? - I asked after the hug.
- Don't be silly, I know you would never want to hurt me, - she said lovingly.
Finally, I broke away from the hug, and as I was walking away, she took off my helmet and wiped the tears from my eyes with her hands. I didn't feel the usual burning sensation, not even the burning of my tears. Instead, I felt relief where her fingers touched me.
I was amazed for a moment.
- None of you could ever hurt me, that's why I'm here, so you can feel safe knowing that I'll always be here for you. -
She motioned for me to sit on the bed and handed me back my helmet.
- Tell me, why did you decide to break the rules? -
- I just wanted to know the truth. -
- We don't hide these things because we want to upset you, it's simply because you're not ready yet, so that stuff like this don't happen to newcomers. -
I remained silent, not knowing how to respond. It's true that I had taken the information the wrong way, but isn't it better to know the truth?
- Luckily for you, you're in luck today. The doctor has already given me your prescription and told me that you have to take it after every meal. - She spoke in a more cheerful tone than a few moments ago. - So, he insisted that you shouldn't miss any meals. -
Saying that, she grabbed a tray from the bed with a sandwich, some potatoes, and a red juice that I couldn't tell if it was strawberry or watermelon, and put it on the table where the tray from earlier was.
- I know that changes can be hard, especially ones as big as these, - she continued. - That's why I also brought you this. -
She took a notebook, a pencil, an eraser, and a pen out of a pocket that wasn't visible at first glance.
- What's this for? - I asked as I took the notebook.
- It's for you to write whatever you want, or draw if you like. - She was smiling at me. - I knew you liked to write, and I thought it might help you understand your emotions better. If you write down what happened to you during the day, it might help you not to keep your emotions to yourself and see that there are also good things in your life. -
I looked at the notebook and then at her, and smiled as I hadn't done in several days, a sincere smile.
She stayed with me while I ate dinner, keeping me company, and when I finished, she gave me the pill, said goodbye, and I was alone in the room again. Not knowing what to do with my time, I decided to write in the notebook as Nanny had said, and I lost myself in writing until the next morning.