Bastard's voice came again, still quiet, lacking its usual smugness.
{Sebastian… let me see... Your memories. Just this once.}
I blinked at the ceiling. '…Fine. Go ahead.'
A few beats of silence passed. Then—
{…Fucking hell.}
I raised a brow. 'That bad?'
{That bad? That bad? You just got handed a god-killing sword art and a soul egg like it's some holiday gift basket. Do you know how insane that is?}
'Hey, don't forget, I'm the one who had to go through excruciating soul pain. Pretty sure I earned it.'
{Oh, right. Poor little Sebastian almost died again. Do you want me to throw you a party for surviving your nap with the goddess?}
I snorted. 'Yeah, actually. Balloons, cake, and maybe a trophy shaped like me. Engrave it: World's Most Handsome Tragic Hero.'
{Tragic, yes. Handsome… debatable.}
'blasphemy! You share my body, you stare at this face every day. Don't act like you're not grateful.'
{Grateful? Please. Every time I look at you, I regret not being born as literally anyone else.}
'Sure. Keep telling yourself that, partner. One day, you'll admit I'm the best-looking guy in any world.'
{…You're insufferable.}
'Damn right.'
And just like that, the heaviness of everything, the goddess, the sword art, the egg, slipped to the background. For a moment, it was just me and Bastard, trading words like two idiots with nothing better to do.
The door creaked open before I could toss another insult.
"Sebastian!"
Alectra rushed in, skirt swishing as she dropped to her knees beside my bed, her hands instantly wrapping around mine. Her grip was firm, trembling just slightly.
"Are you okay? Talk to me, are you hurt?"
I tilted my head, a smirk tugging at my lips despite how heavy my body felt. "Of course I'm okay. What, did you think something could take me out that easily?"
Her relief lasted two heartbeats before her expression darkened like a storm rolling in.
"Reckless." Her voice cracked like a whip. "Do you even realize what you just did? You pushed yourself until you couldn't even stand. You can't even use mana yet, you have no strength, you could've been torn apart out there if it was anyone other than Belle, why didn't u forfeit! What were you thinking?"
I chuckled weakly, raising a brow. "You're acting like I almost died. Worst-case scenario, I would've… taken a long nap."
"A nap?" Her voice pitched higher, outrage plain on her face. "You collapsed! Do you think this is a joke?!"
"Not a joke. Just a fact," I said smoothly, settling back against the pillows. "It takes more than a little exhaustion to kill me."
{She's got fire,} Bastard piped up in my head, tone annoyingly amused. {I like her. I think I'll take her side in this one.}
'Traitor,' I shot back.
{Not a traitor. Just smarter than you. Look at her face, she's about two seconds away from choking you, and I'd pay good money to see it.}
I rolled my eyes, which only made Alectra tighten her grip on my hand.
"Sebastian, this isn't funny! You're not invincible!"
"Tell that to the fact I'm still breathing."
Her mouth fell open like she wanted to shout at me, but she snapped it shut and glared instead.
Rentt stepped forward, arms crossed, looking like he had a speech prepared. "Sebastian, this behavior is unacceptable. If you had simply communicated your admission of defeat—"
I tuned him out immediately. Not because I disliked him. Just… his voice had the same effect as background music in a bar. It was there, but did I need to pay attention? Not really.
I tuned him out halfway through.
{Ah, here it comes. The Responsible Older Brother speech,} Bastard snickered. {Ten silver says he's rehearsed that one in the mirror.}
'Not worth the bet,' I replied dryly. 'I stopped listening at "Sebastian."
{Cold. I like it.}
Rentt kept talking, his words washing over me like distant background noise, while Alectra still held my hand like I might vanish if she let go.
I sighed dramatically, lifting my chin. "Honestly, you're all overreacting. Yes, I can't move without feeling like a bag of bricks. But am I alive? Still devastatingly handsome? Still sharp enough to put you all in your place? The answer is yes, in case you're struggling."
"Devastatingly—?" Alectra sputtered, caught between outrage and disbelief. "Unbelievable! You, you're impossible!"
{Oh, she's so mad,} Bastard cackled. {Keep going, this is the best entertainment I've had in ages.}
'I should've let my soul stay gone,' I muttered inwardly.
Alectra huffed, cheeks flushed, while Rentt still buzzed on about responsibility. Bastard snorted and whispered insults in the back of my head. And me? I lay there, smirking like the arrogant bastard I was, basking in the chaos.
But if they were yelling at me… it meant I was still here to hear it.
Alectra's rant finally lost steam, her shoulders heaving as she released a long sigh. For a second, I thought she was done, then she dropped the next bomb.
"Fine. Enough of this. What matters is moving forward. Starting tomorrow, you'll be training under Belle for the next six months."
I blinked. "…Come again?"
"Belle will be your instructor until you're ready to enter the academy," she repeated, voice firm. "You'll be living with her during that time."
The words sank in. My jaw went slack. Then—
"WHAT?!"
The shout rattled the infirmary walls, made Rentt pinch the bridge of his nose, and probably woke up half the dormitory.
"Six months?! With her?!" I sat bolt upright, nearly sending Alectra sprawling as I flailed my hands in disbelief. "Do you have any idea what you're asking of me? To live under the same roof as a 25-year-old woman for half a year?! A goddess among mortals forced to gaze upon my flawless face every morning and night?!"
"She'll die, Alectra! Die! Her heart won't survive the strain of seeing perfection at the breakfast table. I'll have blood on my hands, and it won't be from training, it'll be from beauty-induced shock!"
Rentt stared at me for a beat, then deadpanned, "Roses are red, cacti are prickly, holy fuck that escalated quickly."
{This is gold,} Bastard howled in my head. {Keep going. You're killing me. Actually, scratch that, you're killing Rentt. Look at his face!}
'You're not helping,' I shot back.
Alectra pressed her fingers to her temple like she was fighting a headache. "Sebastian, this is not up for debate."
"Not up for debate?!" I clutched my chest dramatically. "You're condemning me to six months of torment! To be ogled! Admired! Worshipped!"
"Or ignored," Rentt muttered.
"IGNORED?!" I gasped like he'd spat on my family name. "Who could ignore this?" I gestured at myself with both hands, hair mussed, sweat-soaked, half-dead in a hospital bed. "I am a masterpiece!"
{More like a disasterpiece,} Bastard snorted.
'Shut up,' I grumbled.
Alectra pinched the bridge of her nose again. "You'll live, Sebastian. You'll train. And Belle won't so much as glance at your 'masterpiece' if you keep running your mouth like this."
I gawked at her, betrayed. "Unbelievable. You'd toss me to the wolves just like that?"
"She's not a wolf. She's your teacher."
"She's a predator! And I'm the prey!"
Rentt muttered something about regretting ever stepping into this room, while Alectra's patience visibly frayed, but I just flopped back onto the bed with a groan, throwing an arm over my eyes.
"This is cruelty," I declared. "Pure, unfiltered cruelty."
{And the best part?} Bastard said smugly. {She's blind.}
'Oh, I forgot.'