The shrill beeping of my alarm dragged me from sleep, and I groaned like a dying walrus being stepped on. With one hand, I slapped at the clock until it went silent, then kicked the blanket away with all the grace of a disgruntled toddler. Mornings were overrated. Whoever invented them clearly hated joy.
Still, zombie mode carried me into the bathroom. I squinted at the mirror, toothbrush dangling from my mouth, hair sticking up at odd angles. Or at least, that's how it should have been. But thanks to Rob's little perk he have given me without my knowledge, my hair looked like I'd just stepped out of a commercial silky, glossy, and perfectly in place, even though I'd spent the night rolling around like I was wrestling ghosts.
And my skin Flawless. Smooth, glowing, like I'd installed a permanent Instagram filter. Not a single pimple, not a hint of under eye darkness. If my old self from my past life saw this, she'd have thrown her moisturizer collection at me in jealous rage.
I made a face at my reflection, leaning closer. "Unfair" I muttered, poking my cheek. It bounced back like a commercial for miracle cream.This felt less like peak human and more like cheating at the human experience.
With a sigh, I brushed my teeth swished water and raked a comb through already perfect hair. By the time I changed into clothes, I actually resembled a functioning human being though honestly, thanks to Rob, I didn't even need the effort.
Still, I thought with a smirk, if I had to live in a vampire town, at least I'd be doing it with good hair.
Black jeans, black turtleneck, brown half-jacket, glossy black boots check. Hair brushed out and falling sleekly over my shoulders double check. I stared at the mirror for a moment, tilted my head, and thought, Damn. I look good .
Downstairs, the smell of coffee hit me before I even reached the bottom step. Charlie was already at the counter, hunched over his mug like it was the only thing keeping him alive. He looked like every tired dad with mustache a little crooked hair doing its own sleepy little mess and eyes that clearly resented mornings as much as I did.
I blinked at him. "You're up early."
He grunted, sipping like the coffee personally wronged him. "New case. Some animal attacks out by the woods."
I froze mid step. Oh, sure. "Animal attacks." Because Forks was absolutely crawling with wild cougars and bears that had nothing better to do than play snack time with hikers. Right. My brain immediately pulled up the mental image of Victoria and her little fang gang. Mini Team Rocket but with sharper teeth and worse fashion choices.
I forced a casual tone. "You shouldn't go anywhere alone, Charlie. I mean it."
Charlie glanced up, one brow lifting. He looked halfway between amused and suspicious. "What are you now, my bodyguard?"
"Yes," I said flatly walking to the fridge like I was about to pull out sunglasses and a black suit. "And don't test me. I take my job very seriously. I've got pepper spray and sharp reflexes . You'd be surprised what I can do with my fist."
Charlie actually cracked a smile, the kind of half-grin that lit up under his mustache. "Fist, huh? That's reassuring."
"Exactly." I jabbed a finger at him like I was delivering a TED Talk. "Forks might have mysterious 'animal attacks' but as long as you don't wander into the woods like a horror movie dad, we're golden. So no solo hikes, no investigating weird noises, and definitely no dramatic sheriff moments where you shout 'Who's there?' in the dark."
Charlie chuckled into his coffee, shaking his head. "You watch too many movies."
"Wrong. I watch just enough movies to keep you alive," I retorted, heading for the stove. "You're welcome."
He chuckled, clearly not taking me seriously. I rolled my eyes and moved to the kitchen, pulling out eggs, bread, and bacon. "Coffee not breakfast Chief. Sit down before you burn the kitchen trying to help."
"I can cook," he muttered.
"Mm-hm. And I can walk on water." I cracked eggs into the pan, the sizzle drowning out his grumbling.
A few minutes later, the table looked like something from a breakfast commercial eggs toast with bacon and juice and fruit on the side. I slid plates over, rambling as I worked. "So today I'm going to Alice's house which means you don't need to wait up but also don't send a search party. I'll be back before curfew."
"Good," Charlie said around a mouthful of food. "Be back before curfew."
As if on cue, Bella stormed into the room like a starving bear, hair wild, eyes locked on the food. She sat down, immediately attacking food. "Mmm this is so good wait ..did you say you're going to the Cullens today?"
"Yep." I raised an eyebrow. "Want to tag along?" Please say yes, Bella. Don't let me face the sparkly family alone.
"Yep." I raised an eyebrow, stabbing a piece of bacon dramatically with my fork. "Want to tag along?" Please say yes, Bella. Don't make me walk into the Sparkle Mansion alone. I like my blood inside my body.
Bella hesitated mid chew like I'd just asked her to solve a complex math equation instead of an invitation. She blinked down at her plate, toast halfway to her mouth clearly weighing her options. My inner voice was on its knees, crossing fingers, toes, and possibly imaginary tentacles.
Finally, she set her fork down and asked, "Would they… mind?"
"Mind?" I snorted so hard juice almost came out my nose. "Bella, Alice is basically a human welcome committee trapped in a bunny's body. She thrives on new friends. Jasper's quiet but nice like if stoicism were a hobby he'd win gold medals. And Emmett I leaned back in my chair "Walking comedy show. He could do stand up if he didn't also you know look like he could bench press a car."
Bella raised an eyebrow at me, but the corners of her mouth twitched.
Bella snorted softly trying not to laugh. "You're impossible."
"Thank you," I said sweetly very carefully not mentioning two names one moody brooder and one ice queen that might spook her out of saying yes. Strategic omissions were my new superpower.
Bella hummed thoughtfully. "Okay."
Relief spread through me like sunshine. Thank you, universe.
"Great. We're taking my car, then." I scooped plates into the sink like a woman on a mission.
Bella frowned at me, her fork hovering mid air. "What's wrong with my truck?"
"Nothing," I said with all the false sweetness of a bad infomercial host. I slung my bag over my shoulder and aimed for the door. "I just think we should preserve it for future generations. You know put it in a museum. Right between the dinosaurs and the first Nokia phone."
Her jaw dropped. "Hey! My truck is reliable."
I snorted. "Reliable in the way a zombie apocalypse is reliable. Loud, terrifying, and guaranteed to make people stare."
She scrambled up after me as I opened the front door. "Shut up! It's not that bad."
"Not that bad?" I smirked, sliding into my sleek black Audi A4. "Bella historians will one day marvel at how that ancient beast still roared to life without requiring a blood sacrifice."
She muttered something under her breath about me being insufferable cheeks pink as she climbed into the passenger seat.
Charlie leaned against the porch rail, coffee mug in hand, giving us the patented Dad Look.He squinted at my car then at Bella's indignant face then back at me.
"You two fighting over who's driving?" he asked, deadpan.
"Nope" I chirped, buckling my seatbelt. "We're just debating whether Bella's truck belongs in the Smithsonian or Jurassic Park."
Bella groaned into her scarf. "I hate you."
Charlie hid a smile behind his mug and raised a hand in farewell. "Be back before curfew" he called. His tone carried the weight of every cop dad warning ever spoken, like we were heading off to battle instead of a friendly vampire hangout.
Honestly.. Same difference.
I revved the engine dramatically, earning another glare from Bella, and pulled out of the driveway like I was leading us straight into a war zone.
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