Facing the oddly styled kid with a bug net and that hulking Cetitan, Jason cooled off fast after the initial shock and snark.
He knew this was going to be a tough fight.
Cetitan—pure Ice—famous for its absurdly high HP and physical attack.
Head-to-head, he had no chance of winning straight up.
But…
He was a Ditto. He could change.
Without hesitation, his body flashed—and became Glimmet.
"Oh?" Iono's eyes flashed with approval. "Opening with a form that hard-counters Ice? Smart choice!"
By now, Iono and chat were used to this Ditto turning into other Pokémon.
[Rock beats Ice—type advantage! Ditto's favored!]
[Not so fast—look at that beefy Cetitan. One smack and that little crystal flower's getting pancaked.]
[Yeah—and trainers love winning off-type.]
While chat argued, Jason finished step one of his setup.
He didn't rush in. Instead he used—
Rock Polish.
His crystalline petals quivered, a faint halo rippled out, and his outline seemed sleeker, quicker.
Speed, up—right from the start.
"Roooar!"
The Bug Catcher was clearly a hothead. Seeing the glow, he smirked—support move. With a big anime-protagonist sweep of his arm, he shouted:
"Cetitan! Don't give it a chance—Tackle and crush it!"
The white heavy tank thundered forward. Jason didn't flinch.
He was grinning inside. So cocky—opening with Tackle?
Chef's-kiss coaching.
BOOM.
Cetitan slammed him hard. Jason skidded back several meters; fine hairline cracks laced a few petals—but he held.
"Still fine," he thought, relief settling.
And at the instant of impact, his Ability Toxic Debris triggered—countless tiny purple caltrops scattered silently across the ground.
Riding the knockback, he twisted in midair and conjured a ring of razor stones that hung around him—
Stealth Rock.
In a blink, the field centered on him became a minefield of Stealth Rock and Toxic Spikes.
Watching it all, Iono pinched the bridge of her nose with a "can't watch" expression.
Are Paldean trainers… this green?
"Ai…" she sighed to the camera. "Fam, I'm calling it. This battle's already over."
[Huh? We just started?!]
[Don't do me like this—I just opened a fresh bag of seeds!]
[Ditto tanked a hit—how is it over?]
Iono's delicate face hardened into "tough love."
She cleared her throat.
"I don't mean the Ditto lost. I mean the Cetitan did."
"This straw-hat trainer's too careless—or he doesn't know Glimmet at all."
"Look," she pointed. "If Cetitan had opened with Ice Fang or Liquidation, even with type disadvantage, its raw Attack could've seriously maimed that Ditto."
"Then a couple follow-ups, and Ditto's out."
"But!" Her tone sharpened. "He opened with Tackle—a physical hit."
"Glimmet's Toxic Debris scatters Toxic Spikes whenever it takes a physical move. That slam didn't do meaningful damage; it completed the opponent's setup."
"Now look at the field," she smiled knowingly. "It's all Stealth Rock and Toxic Spikes. Cetitan's huge frame will take chip every time it moves."
"And Ditto? It used Rock Polish turn one—big Speed boost."
"Net result: we're headed for a one-sided kite."
She twirled a Poké Ball emblazoned with her own Cetitan and winked. "Alsooo… that Cetitan doesn't look as tough as the one I caught earlier. So losing here? Not exactly shocking."
[!!!!]
[OHHH so that's the high-level mind game!]
[Learned a ton—crowning Iono my Pokémon Mentor!]
[Beauty, voice, and deep game sense—sold.]
[Hey, Bug Catcher kid—did you hear? Iono-sensei says go study!]
…
No sooner had she finished than Jason moved.
Just as she predicted, he kited.
Against a monster with a lake of HP, he chose the slimiest line possible.
Thanks to Rock Polish, he became a blur.
"Rooar!"
Cetitan lumbered and swung again and again; Jason slipped clear every time—and countered without pause.
Acid Spray—gouts of corrosive purple splashed across thick hide, shaving Special Defense hard even if damage was light.
Ancient Power—primeval stones slammed in for super-effective chunks. He even fished for that tiny all-stat boost.
Venoshock—with Cetitan already poisoned by Toxic Spikes, the hit landed for double power.
In the end, aside from that opening Tackle, Jason never took another point of damage. Cetitan, ground down by chip and debuffs, gave a final bellow and crashed to the earth, unable to battle.
[Defeated Cetitan…]
[Cetoddle Dex completion +15%]
[Cetoddle Dex current completion: 15%]
The whole thing felt unreal.
After a heartbeat of stunned silence, chat boiled over.
[Streamer, where was that "show us Cetitan's strength" promise?]
"The Ditto just won? Like that?"
[Iono called it! Ditto really kited Cetitan to death?!]
[Wild. I checked the Dex—Cetitan's BST is over 100 higher than Glimmet's, and it still lost?!]
Now that's tactics. Mom, I no longer believe in "just hit harder."
[Was that Ditto really uncoached? It's so strong!]
The straw-hat Bug Catcher just stared, dumbstruck. He still couldn't fathom how his prized Cetitan had been so easily beaten by a fragile-looking "crystal blossom."
"N—no way!" His face twisted in denial. "I've got more Pokémon! I will catch you, you weird Ditto!"
He yanked out another ball and hurled it skyward.
"It's you—Palafin!"