Jason glanced around.
Sure enough, the deeper they went, the denser the fog became—so thick you couldn't even see your own hand.
Iron Valiant's electronic eyes flickered red, trying to scan the terrain, but the only feedback it got was a mess of noisy static.
If this were the original plot, the protagonist would have to stumble through a "horror in the mist" segment, get scared half to death by a few phantom wolves, then bumble their way into the altar.
Jason had no interest in solving puzzles.
He was here for a speedrun.
"If we can't see the road, then we clear the road." Jason hopped down from Iron Valiant's shoulder. His pink body landed on the damp carpet of rotting leaves with a soft thud.
"You two back up a bit," Jason said to Gast and Iron Valiant.
"Miraidon, it's your turn."
Miraidon nodded.
With a flick of its will—
"Bzzzt—BOOM!"
Countless arcs of purple lightning burst out from Jason's position, surging madly in all directions. The previously lifeless ground was instantly covered by high-voltage current, dead leaves charring black, and the damp air crackled, leaving an ozone tang in the nose.
The dense white fog that had been clinging to them like glue reacted to the raging electricity like it had met its natural enemy.
The Electric Terrain repelled and disrupted the foreign energy field that formed the fog.
"Iron Valiant," Jason said, still in Miraidon's form, turning to look back. "The field's scrambled. Use your blades and slice the rest of this mist open for me."
Iron Valiant nodded.
As a fellow paradox Pokémon from the future timeline, the electric field only kicked its systems into a higher gear.
Both of its arm-blades snapped out, twin edges humming as pink particles vibrated at high frequency along the length of the beam-swords.
Clearing heavy fog.
In the game it was just a support move. Here, it was pure physics.
Iron Valiant lowered its center of gravity and blurred forward.
Its twin blades traced a massive X in the air ahead, and a violent gust exploded outward along the attack's path.
"Whoo—!"
The fierce wind, laced with razor-sharp pressure, forced a broad passageway open through the fog. The white curtain that had smothered them was pushed hard to both sides, revealing dark brown earth and a tangle of sprawling roots underneath.
The view opened up in an instant.
"Done."
Gast drifted over, eyeing the brute-forced tunnel and clicking her tongue. "Tsk tsk, simple and crude. But I like it. Way easier on the eyes."
The group followed the freshly-cleared path deeper in.
The vegetation inside the forest was even denser than outside. Massive ferns grew taller than a person, clearly juiced up by some special energy.
Even though the mist had been driven back, the uncomfortable sensation of being watched hadn't gone away. In fact, now that they could see, that feeling pressed on them even more heavily.
Something rustled in the undergrowth.
That wasn't the wind—that was something moving.
"Rats," Gast's ears twitched. At this point her detection was sharper than a radar. "And not just one or two."
"Not rats. Monkeys," Jason corrected. "A whole bunch of prankster trash mobs."
He'd barely finished when a nearby bush exploded outward.
Several pink-and-green blurs shrieked as they rushed out. They had pointed ears, long tails, and faces that just screamed "punch me."
Impidimp.
Dark/Fairy Pokémon that lived to screw with travelers, experts at using fog as cover to swipe items or just jump-scare people for fun.
These impidimp clearly thought Jason's party were lost, ripe marks.
One particularly gutsy impidimp sprang into the air, scooped up a handful of black mud, and hurled it straight at Jason's face.
Splat.
The mud never made it.
A purple hand snapped into existence midair and snatched the muck out of its path.
Gast hovered in front of Jason, holding the sludge. Her expression went from annoyed to downright murderous.
"That's your idea of a greeting?" she said through gritted teeth. "Throwing this filthy garbage at my face?"
The impidimp froze.
"Got a death wish, huh?" Gast's grin twisted. Her round body suddenly stretched, shadow spilling across the ground in jagged, grasping shapes.
"Then this lady will be happy to oblige!"
No dramatic windup, no fancy opening—she just blinked out of existence.
In the next instant she appeared right in front of the mud-throwing impidimp.
Shadow Punch.
A move that never misses.
Her fist was wrapped in dense Ghost-type energy, black light so concentrated it was almost solid. No technique, no flourish—just a straight, brutal punch.
Thud.
The impidimp didn't even have time to scream. Its face caved in and its body flew like a ragdoll, slamming into a nearby tree and sliding down in a heap.
The remaining impidimp were completely petrified.
They were pranksters, not brawlers.
"What are you staring at? Lining up for your turn?" Gast rolled her wrist, clearly not satisfied. "Who was laughing in the back just now? You?"
She pointed at another impidimp.
The impidimp shrieked and spun on its heel, bolting for the bushes.
"Run?" Gast snorted. "You think you can play hide-and-seek with me? You're babies."
She vanished again.
The next thirty seconds were pure, one-sided bullying. Gast didn't even need Jason's commands—anything that had dared to throw mud in her direction had instantly hit max aggro in her heart.
Punches thudded on flesh. Impidimp screamed and went flying. The forest echoed with the sounds of ghosts beating children and children regretting life choices.
Jason sat up on Iron Valiant's shoulder and even yawned.
"Wrap it up," he said, checking the time. "Don't waste too long on these EXP packs. We've still got real work later."
"Yeah, yeah," Gast grumbled.
She grabbed the tail of the very last impidimp, twirled it like a windmill, then hurled it deep into the bushes.
"Scram! Don't let this lady see you again!"
She clapped imaginary dust off her hands and floated back over, smug.
"Cleanup complete." Gast tipped her chin up. "Bunch of blind brats. They don't even check who I belong to."
"Not bad," Jason said casually. "Though your form when you throw a punch is kinda ugly. Work on that."
"You shut up!" Gast stuck out her tongue.
With the road pests cleared, the team pushed on.
The Slumbering Weald's layout wasn't actually that complicated, but its natural labyrinth design was obnoxious. Some paths looked straight but ended in dead ends; some spots looked like cliffs but actually hid vine ladders below.
If you didn't know the map, you could wander in circles all day.
But Jason had the entire Galar region mapped in 3D in his head.
"At the fork up ahead, go left," he ordered. "The right side looks wider, but it loops around back to the start."
Iron Valiant didn't question it, just turned left and sliced apart a wall of brambles with its blades.
"There's a log bridge ahead. Don't cross it—the thing's rotten. Step on it and it'll snap." Jason pointed to a big rock to the side. "Jump it."
Iron Valiant bent its legs and cleared the stream in one smooth leap.
Step by step, using Jason as a living GPS, they dodged all the built-in traps and loop points, moving far faster than anyone had any right to.
The deeper they went, the older everything felt.
The trees grew gargantuan, each trunk centuries old. The air was thick with an ancient energy that smelled faintly of rusted iron.
The scent of old relics.
"How much farther?" Gast was bored enough to start orbiting Jason. "It's just trees and trees and more trees. Zero entertainment value."
"We're almost there." Jason watched the trees ahead thin out. "The ruins of the altar are just up ahead."
He could feel the pressure building—that unique, heavy aura that only legendary Pokémon had. Even weakened and half-asleep, that apex predator presence still lingered.
"What a pain," he muttered, eyeing the last wisps of clinging fog.
"What's wrong?" Gast asked.
"These two old dogs," Jason said, gesturing at the stubborn mist. "They're literally just sleeping at home, but they have to put on a horror show. Fog, barrier, spooky vibes. All this to hide two pieces of scrap metal?"
To Jason, Zacian and Zamazenta were pure drama queens.
They saved the region a thousand years ago, humans got greedy, so the dogs sulked off into a forest to emo for a few centuries.
Fine, sulk. But did they have to lay out the Slumbering Weald like a haunted-house challenge?
"Old dogs?" Gast blinked. "You mean there are dogs in here?"
"Yeah. Two big ones," Jason explained. "One with a sword in its mouth, one with a shield on its neck. They look pretty cool, to be fair."
"Do they bite?" Gast asked, suddenly on guard.
"Not right now. They're still drunk on sleep." Jason snickered. "We're just here to take their toys and help them sober up."
As they talked, the trees ahead suddenly fell away.
A clearing opened up in front of them.
Here, surprisingly, the fog was thin. White wildflowers carpeted the ground, and a stone altar lay still in the center.
Ruined walls and pillars surrounded it, the last fragments of some ancient architecture. At the altar's heart, a rusted sword was jammed into the stone, and a battered shield leaned beside it.
The Rusted Sword. The Rusted Shield.
They looked utterly worthless—scrap metal you'd find in a junkyard. Caked in reddish-brown rust, chipped and uneven at the edges, not a trace of "legendary artifact" in sight.
But to Jason, they were very much artifacts.
"Finally," he said, hopping down from Miraidon and landing on the cold stone.
"That's it?" Gast floated down, circling the sword and shield with visible disappointment. "You sure these are good stuff?"
Jason slid closer, feeling the faint energy leaking off them. "These are summoning tokens. With these, we can call those two big guys out to work."
Just as he stretched out a tentacle to touch the rusted sword, the air froze.
A chill shot up from his soles to his skull.
It wasn't cold—it was killing intent.
Around the altar, two massive silhouettes faded into being.
On the left, a great wolf, sword in its jaws. On the right, a stout, muscular wolf with its mane forming a huge shield across its chest.
The phantoms of Zacian and Zamazenta.
They weren't real bodies, just clumps of lingering will. Their hollow eyes locked on the intruders, a low, rumbling snarl rising from their throats.
"Growl."
"Grrr…"
The sounds weren't loud, but they hit straight into the spirit.
An ordinary human would've been on their knees by now.
Gast yelped and ducked behind Iron Valiant. "These are the old dogs you were talking about? They look really mean!"
Iron Valiant's blades snapped up in a guard, its whole body tightening into combat mode.
Only Jason stayed completely calm.
He didn't even bother transforming—still just a pink blob, he scooted a little closer.
Miraidon let out a shriek of its own.
Legendary to legendary—Miraidon's presence slammed down on the phantoms, instantly suppressing them.
"All right, enough barking," Jason said, looking up at the two massive specters, utterly unimpressed. "You've been around for a thousand years. Stop with the cheap horror show already."
He knew these illusions were just a test.
"I get it," he said. "You're not sleeping well."
He addressed the phantoms directly. "There's a guy named Rose outside making trouble. You don't really want to watch Galar get blown to pieces, do you?"
The phantoms seemed to understand. Combined with Miraidon's pressure, the snarling paused.
"I'm not here to steal," Jason continued, and this time he meant every word. "In your current state, you can't even leave this forest. Hand me the sword and shield, and I'll go to Hammerlocke and carve Eternatus up for you. Seems like a good deal, yeah?"
At that moment, the clouds above the forest suddenly split.
In the direction of Hammerlocke, a column of dark red light shot up into the sky.
The ground shivered faintly.
Eternatus was waking.
Both wolf phantoms turned their heads toward the light. The hostility in their eyes vanished, replaced by heavy concern.
Then they looked back at Jason.
Slowly, they nodded.
A heartbeat later, they dissolved into starlight and faded away.
The crushing pressure lifted from the altar.
"They're gone?" Gast poked her head out, incredulous. "Just like that? You say a few lines and they leave? They understand human speech?"
"Legends are smart," Jason said.
No more talking. He simply extended two tentacles and wrapped them around the rusted sword and shield.
They were heavy in his grasp, cold and rough.
He pulled both into his body.
A Ditto's gelatinous form made for the perfect storage space. The two artifacts slipped beneath his surface and vanished into pink slime.
"All right. Quest complete," Jason said, bouncing back onto Iron Valiant's shoulder. "On to the next stop."
"That's it?" Gast felt a bit cheated. "No fight?"
"Save your stamina," Jason said, eyeing the growing red pillar in the distance, his gaze sharpening.
"That next fight is the real boss battle."
"Miraidon, full speed ahead. Target: Hammerlocke."
"That Eternatus guy is probably getting impatient already."
At Jason's command, the thrusters on Miraidon's back flared with blue fire. Carrying Jason, Gast, and Iron Valiant, it turned into a streak of light, bursting out of the Slumbering Weald and racing straight toward the sky that was about to be swallowed by darkness.