The Shinigami Temple struck with its monumentality from the outside. Stone steps stretched upward to massive columns. The roof loomed so high it resembled a fortress more than a shrine. Above the entrance gleamed the Uzumaki symbol — a blood-red whirlpool, greedily pulling the gaze into itself. Expensive, majestic, proud.
Menma felt a sudden sting in his chest — pride for his ancestors who had built such beauty, or sorrow for their tragic fate.
The interior had nothing in common with the usual temples, where rows of benches led to the altar. Here it looked more like an embassy — spacious halls, free living quarters, a large kitchen with once-shining copper stoves, several washrooms, and even a separate office for elders. The altar itself looked modest, almost secondary, as if the place had been created not for worship but for meetings and negotiations. Clearly, this was where the Uzumaki stayed when visiting Konoha on business.
Now, though, the temple looked abandoned. Not in ruins, like after Pain's attack, but no longer the grand building it had been before Kushina's death.
Anything of value had long since disappeared — looters left no carpets, no furniture. Only the altar with the Shinigami masks remained untouched.
Menma lingered near it longer than he should have. The masks' faces — alien, with grotesquely grinning teeth — stared straight into the soul.
[Or am I just impressionable?] He grimaced. [Most likely the locals were just superstitious. Golden candlesticks? Sure, take them. But stealing the mask of the god of death? No way, thanks.]
Either way, this was where the twins decided to settle. Their own peculiar fortress-home.
They started with a deep clean. To the sound of ringing laughter and playful bickering, they carried out rotting chairs, cabinets with broken doors, piles of trash left by vagrants.
Once the furniture was gone, they armed themselves with mops. The floors creaked, dust rose in clouds, sunlight filtered through the grimy windows, lighting up their work. Of course, there were unpleasant surprises — under one of the tiles they discovered an anthill.
While Naruko played with their new tenants, Menma went to the market for supplies and poured the entire floor with chemicals.
After that, the temple had to be sealed off and left to wait.
They stepped outside — the sun hit their eyes, the wind ruffled their hair. Only then did they remove the white protective masks, and both immediately breathed easier.
"So how long do we wait now?" Naruko asked, hands behind her head, staring at the temple's massive doors.
"The manufacturer says…" Menma unfolded the instruction sheet and grimaced. "Twelve hours. And then another two days to air it out."
"Two days?!" Naruko's eyes widened as if he had just announced the end of the world. "And where are we supposed to live all that time?!"
"At the old apartment," Menma shrugged. "I checked, we're allowed to stay there until the start of the school year. I've already planned it out — in these two months we'll finish a full renovation."
"We? Renovation?" She scrunched her nose in protest. "That sounds hard!"
Menma smirked lazily and pulled a small book from his back pocket. The movement was too familiar, too deliberate — as if he were imitating a certain one-eyed pervert with a half-mask.
"'Home Repair for Beginners,'" Naruko read aloud, peering at the book. "You're seriously reading this?"
[Of course I am. In my past life, I spent hours on YouTube watching people fix toilets and lay tiles. I love doing things myself. Now, instead of videos — books. Ugh, what a downgrade.]
"I've already checked the important parts," Menma reported, flipping to a bookmarked page. "The beams, the foundation. Everything's solid. This temple will stand for another hundred years, at least."
[As long as I kill Pain before he attacks Konoha.]
Naruko gazed at him with wide eyes, brimming with admiration, as if he had just invented a new jutsu.
"Big brother, you're so smart…"
"So are you," he replied gently, tapping her forehead with the book. "We're both children of Minato. The greatest Hokage."
[And that's true. My sister has the same issues the original Naruto did. Seems like a dunce, but always outsmarted opponents in battle. Which means her brain works perfectly fine — she could be as good a medic as Sakura if she wanted. Studying just bores her. My job is to make sure that spark doesn't die out.]
"We only need a cosmetic renovation," Menma went on, flipping through the pages of the manual. "Paint the walls, whitewash the ceilings. The real question is the design. Any preferences?"
Naruko's smile spread so wide her face looked more fox than girl. And in that moment Menma realized: this was going to hurt.
"Everything has to be orange!" she declared solemnly, throwing her arms wide. "Walls, ceilings, windows, even the toilet! And we'll hang lights on the roof so they can see us from another country!"
Menma's eyelid twitched. Then the other one. By the middle of her speech, he was already suspecting his sister was a bona fide weapon of mass destruction.
"An orange…" he muttered, picturing school trips being led to them with the line: 'And this — this is Konoha's greatest embarrassment.'
"Ha-ha-ha!" Naruko bent over, laughing. "You should've seen your face! Brother, I'm kidding! Did you really think I wanted to live in the Kyuubi's lair? Just so everyone would hate us even more?"
Menma sighed.
[My little trolling miracle. Can't wait for school, when she drives teachers and classmates to hysteria. Hopefully not me too.]
"Then I suggest we stick to neutral colors," he said seriously. "Gray, white, something calm."
"Green," his sister cut in, looking at her own jacket. "That's my favorite color now."
Menma smiled faintly. He knew exactly why. Yesterday the Hokage had shown them photos of their parents, and in nearly every one Kushina wore green.
"Mine too," he nodded, tugging lightly at the collar of his identical jacket. "Then the interior walls will be green. Outside stays red. We're Uzumaki, after all."
"The most ass-kicking clan in the world!" Naruko grinned proudly and threw her hand up.
At that moment their idyll was broken by the snap of a branch. From the forest emerged a young man of about twenty. Black clothes, the Uchiha crest on his shirt. His hair hung in greasy strands, like he'd been using snot instead of a comb. He walked straight toward them, without looking around, without hiding.
"You two Menma and Naruko?" His voice carried the tone of someone who thought he was the smartest in the room. "Just you kids living here?"
Menma automatically stepped forward, shielding his sister. His voice came out cold, precise.
"Mister, who are you?"
"Relax, kid," the man smirked, jabbing a finger at the badge on his chest. "I'm police."
[Yeah, sure. And when asked 'who are you,' you still dodge the question. Classic thug-in-uniform move.]
"Conducting a survey of new residents," the Uchiha went on. But his eyes weren't on the children — they were fixed on the temple windows, as if searching for something inside. "Any adults at home? Protocol says I need to go in and take a look."
"No," Naruko cut in sharply from behind her brother's shoulder. "There's poison in there."
"I'm a jōnin," he said with a smug grin. "I can hold my breath for fifteen minutes. I'll just be quick. You brats wait here."
Menma tilted his head slightly, still watching him with a cold squint.
[Don't like this guy one bit. Typical 'local tough': rude, arrogant, convinced he's above the rules.]
"How's Shisui doing?" Menma asked quietly, just as the Uchiha was about to walk past.
The man froze. Turned halfway, eyes narrowing.
"What'd you say? Kid, how the hell do you know Shisui?"
"Met him once in Konoha," Menma lied without a flicker of doubt. "He's a kind guy."
The Uchiha's face twisted.
"Shisui's dead," he spat. "Took his own life."
[Damn. That means it's already started. The Uchiha clan is on the brink of rebellion. Which means they desperately need jinchūriki to flex their power. Why does he want inside? To check for security seals?]
A light breeze lifted dry leaves, sending them spinning through the air. In that instant, behind the Uchiha came a raspy:
"Kh-khe."
The man turned — and his face changed instantly. Veins bulged on his forehead, sweat beaded at his temples, eyes went wide. Before him stood an old man, calmly drawing on a pipe.
Hiruzen looked both genial and threatening at once. A mild smile on his lips, as though he'd just come to check on the children. But his eyes… his eyes carried the same weight Menma had seen in old history textbooks: 'Stalin smiles, and the next second orders — execute.'
"Hello, grandchildren," Hiruzen smiled softly, lazily puffing a ring of smoke as he looked straight at the twins. "I had some free time, so I thought I'd come visit."
[Yeah. Free time. Of course. More like he was peeping through his crystal ball until things smelled fishy.]
"Grandpa!" Naruko dashed to him joyfully and clung to his sleeve. "We found an ant nest at home! They're red, just like our hair! Can you believe it, they settled right in the Uzumaki temple! Isn't that fate?"
"Very amusing, yes," Hiruzen smiled faintly, patting her on the head. "I suppose the ants were seeking refuge in an embassy."
While they chatted, the Uchiha tried to slip away sideways, inch by inch, like he'd never been there at all. But veterans of shinobi wars don't miss such tricks.
"I'll ask you to stay," Hiruzen said quietly, his tone shifting into one that made you want to snap to attention on the spot. Smoke billowed from his pipe straight into the man's face. "State your full name, rank, and position."
"I, uh…" the man stammered.
"Louder!" Hiruzen barked, so sharp the leaves themselves seemed to shiver. "Introduce yourself properly before the Hokage!"
The young man swallowed, then dropped to one knee. Not out of respect — but because he couldn't withstand the old man's gaze.
"Uchiha Inabi. Jōnin. Serving in the police force."
The twins exchanged a glance and silently stepped aside, turning into spectators of a free theater show.
"Inabi," Hiruzen said slowly, looking down at him as if examining a petty pest. "You harass my grandchildren… Is there really no work in the police?"
"With all due respect, Hokage-sama…" Inabi began, struggling to choose his words. "I was working. I saw children near the Shinigami Temple and decided to check who they were."
[Heh. Lies as easily as breathing. The usual 'official business.' But an old politician eats excuses like that for breakfast.]
"I see," Hiruzen drawled thoughtfully, releasing another puff of smoke. "And didn't you hear my last announcement?"
"Yes…" Inabi nodded, not even realizing he'd just cornered himself.
"Then you should know," the Hokage said calmly, "these children are the son and daughter of Kushina Uzumaki. This is their land. Their temple. Their right. Didn't their bright Uzumaki hair give them away?"
The Uchiha opened his mouth, but no words came.
"Seems detective work is too difficult for you," Hiruzen shook his head. "You need something simpler. Genin Uchiha Inabi."
The former "jōnin" flinched as if slapped, but didn't dare protest.
"For developing attentiveness," Hiruzen's voice suddenly turned icy, "you are assigned fifty D-rank missions finding lost pets. Without pay."
"Yes, Hokage-sama," Inabi forced out through clenched teeth.
"Dismissed," Hiruzen said, the word sharp as a cut.
Inabi shot to his feet and almost ran off, his face twisted with rage.
"Grandpa, you totally destroyed him!" Naruko exclaimed in awe, giving a thumbs up.
[Now that is skill. The old actor clipped an Uchiha's wings in one move, showed off his authority, and earned points with the kids at the same time. A live masterclass in political kung-fu.]
"That was… impressive," Menma muttered, still stunned by the spectacle. "When I grow up, I want to be Hokage."
"An excellent dream, Menma-kun," Hiruzen ruffled his hair with a smile. "Following in your father's footsteps."
"Hey!" Naruko immediately protested. "I want to be Hokage too!"
"As expected from Kushina's daughter," Hiruzen nodded approvingly. "You're following her path."
"Wait…" Naruko paled, staring at the old man. "You mean I have to marry Menma?!"
Menma froze, then slowly turned his eyes to Hiruzen. The old man looked back at him. A second later, both burst into laughter.
"Oh, Naruko…" Hiruzen wiped tears from his eyes, breathing heavily. "You'll give this old man a heart attack one day. No, I meant rivalry."
"What?" Naruko blinked rapidly, as if trying to figure out where her life had gone off track.
"Your father and mother both dreamed of becoming Hokage," Hiruzen said softly, as if sharing a secret. "They competed for the title for a long time. But in the end, Kushina loved Minato and let him take the path."
Naruko straightened her shoulders at once, fire lighting in her eyes.
"I do love my brother…" She shot Menma a challenging look. "But I'm not giving him my dream!"
[What a sly fox. He tossed in one spark — and now my sister and I are ready to clash head-on. Why? To harden our characters? To make sure we both aim for the top? Classic politician's trick: pit people gently, without blood, but still get results.]
"And that's praiseworthy," Hiruzen nodded, drawing on his pipe. "Rivalry makes shinobi stronger. You can ask Might Guy when you meet him."
Then, almost casually, he bit his finger and formed seals. The ground trembled, the air thick with chakra, and a familiar figure appeared.
"Enma!" Naruko gasped in delight.
"Hello, little one," the Monkey King smiled, then turned his gaze to his partner. "Something happened, Hiruzen?"
"Not yet," the Hokage exhaled a smoke cloud, staring straight ahead. "But the Uchiha clan is showing unhealthy interest in my grandchildren. I want you to watch over them."
[Not ANBU, notice. And that makes sense. ANBU has Itachi, who could leak info or influence his colleagues. But the monkeys serve only Hiruzen. The right move. I don't like being supervised, but better to endure monkey fur than wake up at night to a dozen red eyes staring at me.]
"I'm no babysitter," Enma grumbled, arms crossed.
"I've never thought of you as one," Hiruzen replied evenly. "You're my partner. My equal. Only you can be trusted to shield the children from the Sharingan."
[And he's right. In canon Enma tore through Hashirama's roots and knocked the Kyuubi around Konoha. The Monkey King carries his title for a reason.]
"Fine," Enma agreed reluctantly, though his face softened. "But you owe me a double portion of banana ice cream."
"Double?" Hiruzen huffed, even raising his brows. "You're a robber!"
Menma watched their bickering with curiosity. Two warriors who had lived through half a century of battles were now arguing like children in a marketplace.
"I'll be around," Enma winked at the twins, then slapped his tail against the ground and vanished.
"He ran away!" Naruko fumed, stomping her foot. "He was supposed to give me a ride!"
"Spare the old man," Hiruzen shook his head. "He's as old as I am. Now — to business. You are the official representatives of the Uzumaki clan. And everyone in the village must know it."
He pulled a small packet from his inner pocket. Inside gleamed the symbols of the red whirlpool.
"Sew this onto your clothes."
"Awesome!" Naruko grabbed the packet like it was a chest of treasure. "So who's going to be clan head? Me or my brother?"
Hiruzen looked up at the sky, as if weighing his words.
"You are too young to lead. Unfortunately, there are no adult Uzumaki left in Konoha. But the Senju clan are your relatives. So my student, Senju Tsunade, will temporarily serve as acting leader."
"And when will we see her?" Naruko asked at once.
"I'm afraid not soon," Hiruzen sighed heavily, releasing a stream of smoke. "She's a doctor of world renown. Always healing, saving lives, rarely in Konoha."
[Oh, nice spin. 'Doctor of world renown' instead of 'drinking in bars and gambling away her pay.' Wonder how he framed Orochimaru's experiments? As 'a fight for science and progress' too?]
"But don't worry," he added with another smile. "Tsunade writes me every day. In the meantime, I'll handle matters in her name."
[Ha! I knew it. That's why he reinstated our clan's status. People like Hiruzen think ten moves ahead. Now he's gained one more vote on the clan council. Clever. Time to share the news with another schemer.]
///
That night Menma sank into the seal and once again found himself before the familiar giant cage. In the darkness lurked a massive silhouette.
Kurama was meditating, but his enormous blood-red eyes opened at once, burning through the boy.
"Been a while since you came," the cold voice rumbled. "I hope your information is worth new details about your parents."
Menma shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned his head back lazily.
"Actually, I came to say our deal's off. Hiruzen already told me everything about my parents. Even showed me pictures."
"Impossible," suspicion laced the Fox's voice. "Details."
Menma laid it all out, carefully cutting his own role from the story and twisting events so it looked like he'd just been a witness.
"So you shared the secret with your sister, and the very next day Hiruzen made a grand announcement to the whole village?" Kurama tapped his claws thoughtfully on the cage floor. "Tell me… did you speak to anyone else?"
"No."
"So only you two knew. And the next morning, Hiruzen knew." The Fox narrowed his eyes. "Didn't you say Naruko always blabs to the old man?"
[Heh. And here it begins. He's already trying to pit me against my sister. A true kitsune.]
"And how does it feel, son of the hero?" Kurama twisted his jaws into something like a grin, his voice dripping with an irritating taunt.
"Much better than before," Menma admitted honestly. "The village worships Minato. Now some of that reputation sticks to me and my sister."
"But isn't it strange," the Fox's voice grew thick and heavy, "that Hiruzen knew the truth all along — and kept silent?"
Menma shrugged.
"He said the clans and the jōnin council forced him to keep quiet. But when he saw how hard it was for us, he went against them."
Kurama fell silent for a long time. Only his claws scraped against stone.
"I see," he finally said, his voice low. "In that case, our deal no longer makes sense. Get out."
Menma was flung from the seal space. But this time, he wasn't shaken. A faint smile played on his lips.
[All predictable. I caught Kurama off guard, and his old schemes collapsed. Now he knows there's a second player on the board — and the stakes in the fight for my loyalty just went up. The Fox will have to invent a new plan, find me new gifts. And that, perhaps, is the best part.]