Menma didn't wake from bright light or noise — it was the smell. A sharp, biting mix of medicine and acrid tobacco smoke. He frowned and, for a second, thought he'd ended up in Orochimaru's lab. But when he opened his eyes, he saw plain white walls and a ceiling with a tiny crack above him. A hospital.
Warm summer wind drifted freely into the room — the curtains swayed gently, sunlight spilling across the sheets. Off to the side, on the neighboring bed, his sister slept peacefully: hair tousled, face serene, as if everything happening was just an ordinary nap after training.
In the corner, perched on a rickety stool, sat Hiruzen. The old man held a pipe in one hand and, in the other, an orange book with a cover showing a man desperately chasing after a woman.
"Oh, you're awake already, Menma-kun," he said calmly, not even lifting his eyes from the page. Smoke lazily curled toward the ceiling, as if he had all the time in the world.
Menma blinked and rasped:
"Where am I..?"
"Hold your questions," Hiruzen exhaled another puff of smoke, clearly savoring the moment. "Your sister should wake up any minute now. I'd rather not repeat myself twice."
Menma glanced at Naruko, who was still softly snoring.
"And what makes you so sure she's waking up right now?"
"I can feel her chakra shifting," Hiruzen explained offhandedly, flipping the page. "Now please, don't disturb me. Very tense moment here."
Menma sighed heavily. Of course. The world might be in danger from the Nine-Tails, but the Hokage was more interested in finding out if the protagonist of Icha-Icha Paradise would manage to seduce the girl.
Soon Naruko stirred. She stretched with a yawn, rubbed her eyes with her fists, and looked around with a sleepy smile.
"Gramps?.. Bro?.." Her gaze darted between them. "Why am I in the hospital? How long have I been here?"
"Not long at all," Hiruzen carefully slid a bookmark in and closed the book. "It's only been a few hours since the incident at the shrine. The Uzumaki clan's regeneration truly is a miracle — it never ceases to amaze me."
"But what even happened?" Naruko frowned, trying to remember. "I was training, then suddenly there was pain… everything went red, I lunged at my brother, and… nothing."
"Same here," Menma confirmed grimly.
Hiruzen drew on his pipe, then exhaled a slow cloud of smoke. His voice pressed down with weight:
"What I warned you about has happened. The Kyūbi tried to seize your bodies. I had to seal it deeper."
"I know," Menma replied, not breaking eye contact with the Hokage. "At the last moment, I was pulled straight into the seal."
"Oh?" The old man perked up, leaning forward. "And what did Kurama say?"
"He cursed everything in sight," Menma said dryly. "Me, you — promised he'd tear us apart sooner or later."
Hiruzen chuckled, as if he'd heard an old joke.
"Typical kitsune reaction. As I've told you before: Kurama is pure evil. Poison. I hope by now you've finally seen that for yourselves."
The twins exchanged a glance and nodded in unison. Out of the corner of his eye, Menma noticed the faint, satisfied smile tugging at the old man's lips.
[Uh-huh. Everything's going according to plan, isn't it, gramps?]
Naruko frowned, then unexpectedly raised her hand.
"Um… actually, I got pulled to him too."
Menma's head snapped toward her.
[What?! I thought Kurama was aiming at me. If he tried playing games with her — I need to know how.]
"Really?" Hiruzen leaned forward at once, eyes lighting up with sharp interest. "And what did he tell you?"
"He yelled and threatened. Honestly, he gave me a headache," Naruko grimaced. "Big, orange, and… yells like a fishwife at the market. So I—" she straightened proudly, "started belting out songs at him until he shut up!"
"Songs?.." Hiruzen nearly dropped his pipe. "What kind of songs?"
"The ones men sang at the bar near our house! Loud, on the whole street! Fun songs, with lots of swearing. I liked them, memorized a couple." Naruko flashed a sly grin. "Want me to sing, gramps?"
"No need!" Hiruzen flung up his hands, this time actually dropping his pipe and scattering tobacco across the floor. "I know exactly what kind of songs you mean!"
"Shame," Naruko pouted. "Nobody likes my songs. Even Kurama said my singing makes his ears wilt. Can you imagine? Rude! In the end he ran off deeper into the cage and wouldn't show his face until it fully closed."
Menma barely kept himself from grinning.
[That's a knockout blow! Here I am trying to throw grand speeches at the fox to humiliate him, and she drives him into a tantrum with one song. Damn, I'm proud of my sister.]
"I want to discuss the new seal with you," Hiruzen said, finally picking his pipe off the floor. He looked at it, sighed as if in farewell, and tucked it into his pocket. "I had to add an extra layer. The Kyūbi's chakra is now completely cut off from you."
Menma felt a dull ache in his chest — the emptiness where a vast reservoir used to pulse.
"But there's a catch," Hiruzen went on. "This protection holds only through your willpower. If you ever consciously decide to draw on the Kyūbi's power, the seal will unravel on its own. I can't forbid you from doing so, but I strongly recommend reaching for his chakra only when your lives face mortal danger. Remember: the Kyūbi's power is a double-edged blade."
The twins exchanged a look. Not a hint of doubt in their eyes.
"We promise," they said in unison.
Hiruzen nodded with satisfaction.
"Very good. From now on, you no longer have endless chakra. You'll have to grow by your own strength. But I believe in you. You are your parents' children… Minato would have been proud of your grades at the Academy."
"It's fine," Naruko said, and her brother fully agreed with her.
[A single year with constant access to a "living battery," and I've reached Kage-level chakra control. Some never achieve that in a lifetime. Not a bad start for independent development.]
Hiruzen drew on his pipe, then added with deliberate laziness:
"By the way, neither I nor Enma will be training you personally anymore. Our presence was needed only to restrain the Kyūbi. That's no longer necessary. But… the doors of my office are always open. Come anytime, with any question."
"Whatever you say, gramps!" Naruko chirped. She hopped off the bed in a single jump, her white hospital gown flaring like a superhero's cape. She dashed to the window and flung it open. "I need Ichiraku right now! My body hasn't had ramen in three hours!"
Menma and Hiruzen sighed at the same time and pressed their palms to their faces.
///
The next morning greeted them with cool damp air. The sky hadn't yet turned golden, and mist drifted low across the green meadows.
The twins left the house almost together. Naruko yawned and lazily scratched the back of her head.
"So weird starting the day without a crowd of clones," she drawled, eyeing the empty field where dozens of her copies used to romp. "Honestly, I kinda miss them."
Menma crossed his arms with a smirk.
"Not all is lost. Let's see how many clones we can make without Kurama."
He formed the cross seal. With a pop, a thick cloud of smoke spread across the field, slowly clearing to reveal dozens of figures.
"Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen…" Naruko counted aloud, growing gloomier with every number. "Only fifteen?! Where's my three hundred?!"
"Fifteen is an excellent result," Menma corrected calmly. "Even most Kage couldn't pull that off. We manage it only thanks to chakra control and the Uzumaki heritage. With age, our reserves will grow, and so will the number of clones."
"Hm-m… fine," Naruko grimaced but didn't argue. "Learning fifteen times faster is still not bad."
"Actually — five times," Menma sighed. "Chakra splits evenly, and we left the clones on minimum self-sustain. If we want them to actually practice techniques, we'll have to make fewer."
"So complicated!" Naruko groaned, then kicked the nearest clone. It burst into smoke.
"Don't waste chakra like that," Menma frowned. "We don't have an endless reserve anymore. You won't be able to make another clone until tomorrow."
"Ughhh!" Naruko stomped her foot, wailing. "It was so much easier with Kurama!"
"Agreed," Menma nodded. "Kurama is the gift our parents left us. And I'll definitely figure out a way to use his power without risking our lives."
He looked down at his hands, slowly curling them into fists.
[Seriously, I'm not giving up the treasure sitting in my gut. I just need to figure out how to outsmart the fox.]
"So what do we do now?" Naruko broke the silence first. She scratched her cheek and glanced at her brother. "I mean… what direction should we train in?"
Menma thought for a moment, staring at the misty field where the clones still circulated chakra through their bodies.
"Honestly, every path is open to us now." His tone was calm, but inside he felt a spark of excitement. "We've mastered chakra control perfectly. That foundation won't crumble. Now we can build anything on top of it."
"I know!" Naruko jumped up, waving her arms. "Let's learn some combat technique! Something cool! Like Sasuke's 'Fire Dragon' from the scroll! Imagine how flashy it'll look!" She struck a dramatic pose, as if already spewing flames from her mouth. "Can you picture it?!"
Her clones around her immediately joined in with loud cheers of "Yeah!" and synchronized nods.
Menma folded his arms across his chest, his own clones mirroring the move like a disciplined army of doubles.
"For that, we'd need fire affinity. And we don't even know what elements we were born with. Honestly, I'd avoid elemental techniques for now."
"But fire is fun…" Naruko groaned in disappointment.
"We need to develop what we're actually strong at," Menma went on evenly. "Our inheritance."
"Fūinjutsu?" his sister wilted. "Ugh, no way! Formulas, numbers, seals… boring to death."
Menma smirked.
"Fūinjutsu too. But not now. I meant something else. Our blood. What's inside us from the start. Our kekkei genkai."
[To be precise — the inheritance from Ashura.]
"Whoa!" Naruko's eyes lit up. "You know the Uzumaki's unique techniques?!"
"Something like that," he answered evasively.
[Truth is, I'm completely clueless. The library has zero on Uzumaki or Senju techniques. Everything revolves around Hashirama and his Wood Release, and that's clearly not something common — it's tied to Ashura's reincarnation. No one left to ask either: we're the last Uzumaki in the village. Senju are nearly extinct too. Tsunade's off drinking somewhere, and I doubt she's in the mood to lecture kids. But I do know about Karin. Her Uzumaki chakra let her sensory ability surpass even the Byakugan. That means it can be replicated.]
"Naruko, we're going to develop sensory skills," Menma said, locking eyes with her. "We have all the potential. But I need a teacher. And I'll need your help to convince him."
They headed toward the Hokage Tower. Their clones stayed behind in the field, practicing tree-walking and water-walking. Interestingly, without the Kyūbi's chakra their control had become even sharper. Pure, clean energy responded more smoothly.
///
The Hokage's office greeted them with the smell of tobacco and the rustle of parchment. Hiruzen sat at a desk buried in papers, and beside him, with arms folded, sat his partner Enma. They were clearly discussing something important: the old man's expression and the steady flick of the monkey's tail made that obvious.
But the moment the twins entered, the conversation stopped. All attention shifted to them.
"Has something happened, my grandchildren?" Hiruzen asked warmly, packing his pipe.
"Gramps!" Naruko practically burst into the room and leapt onto a chair like it was a podium. "Can you believe it — I tried to buy something, and the shopkeeper kicked me out! Said he wouldn't sell to me for any money!"
"What?!" Hiruzen shot up, face reddening, real fury in his voice. "Some flea-bitten merchant kicked out the daughter of the Yondaime — my granddaughter?! Tell me the name of that shop, Naruko. I'll pay him a personal visit and remind him of the rules of courtesy."
Enma outwardly stayed composed, but his tail lashed the air hard enough to whistle.
"It's the bookstore in the center of Konoha," Naruko explained innocently. "I only wanted to buy a book. That one… the one you were reading in the hospital. Orange cover, man and woman on it…"
The office fell into silence. For a moment, even the smoke from the pipe seemed frozen.
Hiruzen and Enma stared at each other. Both wore the same look of absolute shock, as if someone had just spoken the darkest secret in all of Konoha.
"I honestly told the shopkeeper I just wanted to read the book my beloved gramps is reading," Naruko flailed her arms indignantly, "and that jerk just kept repeating like a parrot: 'No erotica under sixteen! No erotica under sixteen!'"
Her voice grew louder with every phrase, until even the curtains in the office seemed to tremble with her outrage.
"What kind of injustice is that?! Training with Bushy-Brows till I drop — fine, I'm an adult girl! But the moment I want to read the same book the Hokage himself is reading — suddenly I'm 'too young'! Not fair!"
She spun toward the old man, eyes the picture of innocence.
"Gramps, maybe you can give me your copy? I'm the Yondaime's daughter and your favorite granddaughter!" And to seal the deal, she batted her lashes so hard it looked like she stirred the air.
Hiruzen nearly choked on smoke. He took a deep drag, exhaled a cloud, and shot Enma a desperate look, pleading for backup. But the tailed traitor was already shaking with suppressed laughter.
"Naruko-chan… how do I put this…" the old man faltered. "I can't give you my book because… it's very rare. Yes, rare! And besides, it's not actually mine. I borrowed it from a friend and must return it."
"I see…" Naruko twirled a lock of hair around her finger, her eyes already sparking with mischief. "Then how about you tell me the plot out loud, gramps? And don't skip the juicy details!"
"What?.." Hiruzen jolted in his chair as if struck by lightning. His pipe slipped from his hands and rolled across the floor. He opened his mouth helplessly but no words came out.
That was the breaking point for Enma. Clutching his belly, he burst into loud laughter.
"Haha-ha! Tried to wriggle out, old monkey, now go ahead and tell the girl about all the positions described in there!"
"Enma!" Hiruzen groaned, but it was too late — his partner was already rolling with laughter.
"Ahem," Menma cleared his throat loudly on purpose, pulling the attention back to himself. He sat calmly, as if the entire circus around him had nothing to do with him. "I also wanted to ask something."
"Speak!" Hiruzen seized on the new topic instantly, like a drowning man clutching at a straw.
"I saw you use sensory skills in the hospital," Menma began, looking him straight in the eyes. "That's a useful ability. Our father could use it too, so we might have an inherited aptitude. Can you teach me and my sister?"
Hiruzen exhaled sharply, as if a mountain had lifted off his back.
"Of course! For my grandchildren, nothing is too much. Tomorrow, one of my clones will come to your home and explain everything."
"Perfect, gramps!" Naruko hopped off the chair with a wide grin. "But we're still coming back to the plot of the book the Hokage is reading."
The twins left the office to the sound of Enma's laughter and Hiruzen's nervous puffing. Out in the hallway, brother and sister slapped each other a high five in perfect sync.
[The tactic works. First, my sister fries the target's brain with her antics, then I step in with cold logic. Contrast shock. You can't achieve everything with it… but you can get pretty damn far.]
/////
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