The academy was unusually quiet. Empty hallways, locked classrooms, and the smell of freshly washed floors all reminded that the school year had ended. Teachers and students had left for summer break, and the building itself seemed to exhale after a long, tense year.
Almost the whole building—except for one classroom. There, chaos reigned. Freshly graduated genin, still not used to their new forehead, shoulder, and arm protectors, had gathered for the most important announcement of all: team assignments.
The girls were eagerly discussing how creatively they had fastened their protectors. One wore hers on her belt, another on her thigh, a third tied it around her neck like jewelry. There were no strict rules, and everyone wanted to show they were "different from the rest." Naturally, Naruko wasn't about to be left behind. She was waving her hands in front of Ino and Hinata, showing off new gloves with metal plates on the back.
Menma sat nearby, lazily spinning his identical gloves in his hands. He hadn't chosen them for "fashion"—though the stylish look was a bonus. Much more important was that such a metal plate could easily deflect a kunai or shuriken. Practical and good-looking—a combination he valued.
Meanwhile, the boys argued about something else: who would be the first to take down a missing-nin after graduation. Loudest of all, of course, was Kiba, waving his arms and claiming that "Akamaru already smells the enemy's blood." Sasuke, as usual, kept a cooler demeanor, but even he couldn't resist sharp remarks, hinting he would soon leave Kiba far behind.
The most sentimental graduates sat in a corner, secretly wiping their eyes and mourning their "lost childhood." Their sniffles looked especially ridiculous against the backdrop of kids seriously discussing the best way to slit a missing-nin's throat.
Finally, the door swung open. Noise vanished in an instant, and the children hurried to their seats. The Uzumaki twins settled side by side, as always—they were inseparable.
Iruka entered the classroom. A touch of pride played on his face, and his voice sounded warmer than usual:
"Welcome, graduates. Today is your last day at the academy."
A sniffle came from the back row.
"But that doesn't mean the academy's doors are closed to you," Iruka continued with enthusiasm. "All graduates can always return here for advice or help with academic matters."
Sasuke, sitting in the back, barely twisted his lips and leaned toward Menma, whispering:
"As if there's still anything to learn here. I'm sure I can defeat any teacher in a duel. Maybe not Mizuki—and even that's doubtful."
The words caught Menma's attention. Recent talks with Kabuto and their dangerous consequences immediately resurfaced in his memory.
He raised his hand. "Iruka-sensei, where's Mizuki? Shouldn't he be here?"
"First of all, I'm no longer your sensei, Menma-kun," Iruka corrected him with his usual instructive tone. "And second…" His gaze drifted to the window, and his voice grew quieter, more thoughtful. "Mizuki didn't show up for work today. Perhaps it would be worth visiting him after class."
[Interesting. If no alarm's been raised, it means Mizuki really managed to pull it off quietly and escape with the scroll. Kabuto didn't choose the timing at random… which means that night the Hokage and the ANBU were distracted.]
Iruka's voice grew formal again: "I'll begin reading the team lists. A warning: the teams were formed personally by the Hokage, taking into account each of your strengths and weaknesses. The decisions are final. But once you become chunin, you'll be able to change your lineup."
The classroom filled with whispers. But as soon as Iruka raised his voice, silence fell again:
"Team number…"
He read out names quickly, clearly intending to check Mizuki's apartment right after the ceremony. Each trio of students was immediately assigned an adult commander, waiting for them outside the door.
Menma followed the process lazily. Most of his classmates were unremarkable—no famous relatives, no talent. Such students were handed to equally unremarkable chunin—not from the Bingo Book, without fame or power.
[I can practically see old man picking the first weakling that came to mind and forgetting their names right after. "The Hokage cares about every child in the village," sure thing.]
Iruka flipped a page and announced:
"Team number seven. Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura… and Sai."
Sakura squealed in delight, but her joy instantly vanished at the mention of the name.
"Who's Sai?" she frowned. "There wasn't anyone like that in our academy."
Sasuke, fingers clasped together, replied grimly:
"Likely a genin with experience whose team was killed. Sometimes they're attached to new graduates."
But in his voice, Menma caught not only coldness—but also interest. An experienced partner clearly seemed like an appealing prospect.
"Just hope this Sai isn't some old geezer," Sakura groaned, rolling her eyes at the ceiling.
At that moment, a pale boy dressed all in black entered the classroom. On his back hung a half-open backpack full of blank scrolls, brushes, and ink bottles.
Sakura, noticing him, blushed slightly and looked away.
[Of course. That Sai. Could it be that Danzo decided to strengthen the protection of the village's last Sharingan?]
Iruka hesitated. Sai's name had clearly appeared on the list unexpectedly—even for him. After a pause, he continued:
"Team leader—Hatake Kakashi."
Menma immediately noticed the change. The old Hatake had always looked as if the world around him annoyed and exhausted him, and only his constant lateness saved him from having to do anything at all. But now—completely different. His gaze was focused, alive, even a bit tense. Not a trace of the usual "I don't care." On his back—straps for fastening a tanto.
[Hm. Back to training? Like in his youth, before that "unfortunate accident" with Obito. And most importantly—he arrived on time. A real sensation. Looks like taking care of Sasuke and being responsible for the boy pulled him out of depression. Unofficial fatherhood, maybe? Interesting.]
Sasuke and Sakura stood up and walked toward the front. But then Naruko's ringing voice cut in:
"Iruka-sensei!" She jumped from her seat and pointed accusingly. "Why did Sakura-chan get into a reverse-harem team?! I want that too!"
The class exploded with laughter. Someone fell off a chair, someone hissed, someone smacked the desk with their palm. Poor Iruka choked on air and nearly coughed himself to death.
Sakura froze as if struck on the head. Her eyes darted between the two dark-haired boys—Sasuke and Sai—then rose to Kakashi, and she turned scarlet.
Team Seven, not waiting for more jokes, quickly left the room. Iruka had to shout over a chorus of girls all clamoring that "they wanted their own reverse-harem team too."
"Team number eight," he announced, tapping the list. "Inuzuka Kiba, Hyuga Hinata, Aburame Shino. Leader—Yūhi Kurenai."
A young kunoichi with dark hair and a soft but confident stride appeared in the doorway. She wore a strange bandage-like dress that emphasized her figure.
"Ooooh…" several boys breathed at once.
Kiba, on the other hand, groaned loudly, which surprised Menma.
"What's wrong with you?" Menma raised a brow. "Your leader's a beauty. What's the problem?"
Kiba leaned closer and whispered in near-tragic despair:
"You don't get it! I'm the only one whose leader is a kunoichi. If only Shino were a girl, I'd have a harem-team! Imagine it, Menma—a harem! But now—it's ruined! Why is the world so unfair?!"
Menma smirked. With priorities like that, Kiba could've been the protagonist of a cheap romance novel.
Team Eight followed Kurenai out.
"Team number ten," Iruka went on. "Nara Shikamaru, Yamanaka Ino, Akimichi Choji."
"That was obvious," Shikamaru muttered without lifting his head from the desk.
"Jōnin leader—Sarutobi Asuma."
A tall, bearded man with a cigarette dangling from his mouth entered. The smoke around him was almost palpable. The boys rose lazily and trudged after him.
"Not a single hottie," Ino sighed hopelessly, glancing at her teammates. "Just my luck with this so-called reverse-harem team."
"Don't worry, Ino-chan," Naruko chimed in cheerfully. "We'll find you another hottie. Sakura's harem is way too big, we can swipe a couple of boys from her."
The two girls exchanged mischievous looks and giggled in unison.
Iruka shook his head, but a smile flickered in his eyes. He looked down at the list:
"Team number eleven. Uzumaki Menma, Uzumaki Naruko…"
The twins clapped hands in perfect sync.
"Awesome!" they exclaimed together.
[Even the number's symbolic. Two ones side by side. Just like us. Nice.]
"…Uzumaki Karin," Iruka continued. "Leader—Yamato."
A girl with bright crimson hair, neatly tied back, stepped into the room. Square glasses glinted under the lights, and a neat black dress with a protector tied at the waist made her look deliberately feminine. Behind her walked a man with chestnut hair, wide wary eyes, and the standard shinobi uniform.
[Wait. Karin? Here and now? She's supposed to be in Grass! Hm… looks like my steps are starting to change the canon. Well, Yamato with his Wood Release next to two jinchūriki—makes sense. But Karin… now that's interesting.]
"Follow me," Yamato said calmly.
The walk was short and quiet. Yamato led them into a nearby park. On the green grass a checkered blanket was already spread, with a basket of food beside it.
Naruko whistled: "A picnic? Now that's how you start the first day of work!"
"Sit however you like," the leader said, crossing his legs by the basket and pulling out cups. "Help yourselves. Now let's get acquainted."
Sandwiches—peanut butter and roast pork—were set on the blanket. Yamato poured apple juice and handed it around.
[Well, this guy clearly took things much more seriously than canon Kakashi, who spent five minutes faking cosmic boredom and then bolted.]
"So," Yamato gave the team a steady look. "I don't ask you to tell me everything about yourselves. That's your personal business. But you must answer three questions. First—what do you like. Second—what you don't like. And third—what goals you want to achieve as shinobi."
He made a short pause and explained:
"The answers to the first two questions will help me understand what to keep in mind in the team so you can work comfortably together. And the third will help me determine the direction in which I should develop you as your mentor. Clear?"
The Uzumaki trio nodded in unison.
[Methodical, thorough. I like that. If he always works this way, then there's a real chance for this team to grow into competent shinobi.]
"I'll go first, to make it clearer," Yamato said, setting his cup of juice in front of him. "I like walking in the forest. I don't like when nature is harmed. And my goal now is to make the three of you into true professionals."
[Got it. No picking leaves around Yamato. Eco-police on patrol.]
"Now you," the mentor turned his gaze to Karin.
The girl adjusted her long sleeves slightly and spoke evenly, as if she had rehearsed:
"I like Konoha. I don't like slavery. And my goal… to marry a strong shinobi and restore the Uzumaki clan."
"You don't need marriage for the last one," Menma snorted. "Speaking as a biologist."
Naruko burst into laughter and covered her mouth with her hand. Karin immediately shot her a withering glare over her glasses.
"No need to laugh," Yamato intervened gently but firmly. "Motherhood is no less important a mission than shinobi work."
"Thank you, Yamato-sensei," Karin instantly softened her tone, gifting the mentor a radiant smile and primly adjusting her glasses.
"I'll arrange individual kunoichi courses for you," Yamato added seriously. "That will help raise your chances of fulfilling your goal."
[Right. Those same courses where they teach you how to dance and take care of your hair. But jokes aside, for Karin's goals it's perfect.]
"Now it's your turn," Yamato looked at Naruko.
"I like girls!" she declared brightly.
Half the team choked on air. Menma nearly spilled his juice, Yamato blinked twice in succession, and Karin flushed crimson.
"By the way, you've got really pretty knees, Karin-chan," Naruko added with a predatory grin, wiggling her brows. She slowly licked her lips, clearly savoring the effect.
Karin yanked her dress down as if burned, covering her legs, and glared so hard her glasses nearly fogged up.
"And I don't like people who can't take a joke," Naruko went on casually, as if nothing had happened. "And my goal is to become Hokage and make all kunoichi wear mini-skirts!"
"Y-Yuri pervert…" Karin muttered, practically astral-projecting.
[Heh. Fox-girl instantly found prey and is chasing her into a nervous breakdown. A real talent.]
"With a campaign promise like that you'll have massive support, Naruko," Yamato commented diplomatically, steering the talk back on track. "Now it's your turn, Menma."
Menma set his cup down and said calmly:
"I like fūinjutsu. I don't like when my sister gets hurt. In those moments, I get very angry."
He gave Yamato a meaningful look, and the latter nodded in understanding.
"And my goal is to become Hokage."
"You too?" Karin was surprised. "But your sister… won't you be rivals for the same spot?"
"We settled that a long time ago," Menma replied calmly. "We'll share the office. Naruko will be Hokage on even days, I'll take the odd ones. On my shift, I'll even allow kunoichi to wear pants."
"Brother, don't be so cruel!" Naruko clutched her chest theatrically and threw her head back. "How will I survive a whole day without women's legs?! Let's at least leave long skirts!"
"I'll consider your request," Menma promised in a solemn voice, barely holding back laughter. Karin, watching them both, was practically steaming with indignation—smoke might as well have been coming from her ears.
"For now, that's enough information," Yamato concluded, pulling out a notebook and making notes. "We'll have plenty of time to get to know each other better."
"That's it?" Naruko asked in surprise.
"Almost," Yamato took a sip of juice. "Before I can see how to develop you, I need to assess your skills. Tomorrow—eight a.m., at the training field."
"And if it turns out we're weak, will you send us back to the academy?" Karin asked, her voice trembling.
"Who told you that?" Yamato frowned.
"I overheard adults talking in the hallway," she admitted quietly.
"I see," the mentor exhaled. "That's not true. Some sensei scare their students with so-called 'impossible tests' to make them perform better. In reality, the Hokage has already approved all the teams. And we, the mentors, take responsibility for you."
[I knew it. Kakashi's little bell-test play was just theater. No one would've allowed him to fail the jinchūriki and the last Uchiha. And Yamato earns a few points in my book for honesty.]
"Tomorrow I'll test everything: ninjutsu, taijutsu, genjutsu. Bring your full arsenal," Yamato continued. "And Karin…"
He gave her dress a critical look.
"Today you look dressed up, that's forgivable—it's team formation day. But tomorrow wear pants. Imagine it's Menma's turn to be Hokage."
The Uzumaki twins exchanged glances, paused, then nodded in sync, rating Yamato's joke as "acceptable."
That ended the meeting.
Three red heads walked side by side, leaving the park.
"Well, out with it," Naruko pinned Karin to a tree trunk and narrowed her eyes slyly. "Who are you and where'd you get the Uzumaki name?"
Karin adjusted her glasses and met her gaze calmly:
"I'll tell you everything. But not here. At home."
"Hm," Menma waved a hand to his sister, letting her go. "Where do you live?"
"Same place as you," Karin adjusted her glasses again. "I hope the Shinigami Shrine has a free room. Please take care of me."
She bowed deeply, almost ceremoniously.
[What kind of hell is going on here?]