The Uzumaki trio spent the remaining hours exactly how kids with adrenaline in their veins should: they went to Ichiraku, where Naruko dramatically retold the "wedding forecast" incident. Ayame nearly collapsed from laughter, while Teuchi only shook his head. Then they played a few rounds of board games (Naruko cheated, but she did it so theatrically no one minded) and finally got some sleep.
The next day, they arrived at the training ground full of energy. They wore their usual cloaks, secured not to hinder movement. Wristbands with seals allowed them to summon weapons at any moment. Their pouches held scrolls with food, water, and survival gear. They didn't look like kids, but like a compact mobile special forces unit.
Training Ground Forty-Four, more commonly and affectionately known as the Forest of Death, greeted the examinees in a remarkably dreary fashion: a flimsy wire fence and a painfully honest sign that read, "Danger to life. Do not enter!"
Behind this so-called "masterpiece of engineering" began a true green hell. The trees there were so massive that even a baobab in some African jungle would have coughed awkwardly and stepped aside. Their thick trunks disappeared into the sky, tangled together with vines.
Next to the only gate, secured with several locks, stood a small covered booth with a wooden table. Three examiners in gray uniforms loitered there, chatting, drinking water, and clearly regretting not bringing a deck of cards.
"Welcome," came Anko's voice. She approached the fence and dramatically spread her arms. "The site of the second test. Training Ground… also known as the Forest of Death!"
Some genin flinched. The name worked exactly as intended: their imagination instantly conjured images of severed heads and fanged monsters. Anko, noticing the reaction, stretched into her trademark sadistic smile.
"Oh, come on," Naruko waved dismissively. "I've been here before. Same puppies and kittens, just bigger. No scarier than a normal hike."
"There you are, little one," Anko purred with a satisfied look, her eyes glinting dangerously. "I've been fantasizing all night about our meeting."
She whipped out a kunai and threw it straight at Naruko. The angle was meant to just nick her cheek, but Menma caught the weapon midair.
As if that were her cue, Anko vanished and reappeared behind Naruko in an instant. Her arms locked tightly around the girl's waist, pulling her close.
"Finally, you're in my hands, sweetie," she purred in Naruko's ear, pressing her chest against the girl's back. "Here, it's my rules. No one will protect you…"
"Kyaaa!" Naruko screamed so loudly that several birds flew up from the forest. "Help! Yuri-loli-pervert!"
The three examiners at the booth choked with laughter and fell off their chairs.
Anko recoiled as if branded with a hot poker. Her face froze in the guilty grimace of a cat caught stealing.
Harassing a kunoichi was no joke. Jiraiya alone had nearly been beaten to death twenty times for such "jokes," and only survived by sheer luck.
"That's not what I meant!" Anko blurted quickly. But noticing Naruko's smug grin, she instantly flared up. "Why, you little…!"
"So are we going to start the exam," Menma cut in grimly, arms crossed, "or should we come back tomorrow once you're done playing?"
Anko's glare could have burned a hole in his head, but his calm, steady look only infuriated her more.
She drew in a sharp breath, forced herself to straighten, and spoke as if nothing had happened:
"Before we begin the test, I have something for you." A stack of papers appeared from under her cloak. "By signing this, you officially agree to participate in the second stage. You see, someone always dies here, and I don't want to be held responsible for your little corpses. So, sign."
Her smile was perfectly sweet, as though she were inviting them not into the Forest of Death but to Ichiraku for noodles.
"But first, the rules," Anko continued. "Then you'll sign, then each team will register at the table."
She raised two scrolls, one labeled "Earth" and the other "Heaven."
"The concept is simple. There are twenty teams. Half will get 'Heaven,' half will get 'Earth.' To pass, you must reach the tower at the center of the forest within five days, with your whole team intact and both scrolls in hand. You can get them any way you like: fighting, trickery, bribery, persuasion. There are no rules. The forest is your enemy, the other teams your prey."
"Five days?!" Ino gasped.
"What will we eat?!" Choji shouted in horror, already imagining an empty stomach.
Naruko placed a hand on his shoulder like a wise mentor and said seriously:
"Choji, I knew you'd ask that! So here, take this." She handed him a food scroll. "I love a good meal too, I get it. Just don't eat Ino-chan. She's my friend."
Choji's lips trembled, his eyes shining.
"Naruko… you're the best girl in the world!"
"Ahem!" Anko tapped the table, regaining attention. "Now, disqualifications. First: if you don't reach the tower in time, you're out. Second: if you lose teammates or they die, you're out. And lastly, opening the scrolls before reaching the tower is strictly forbidden."
She paused, sweeping everyone with a heavy stare.
"Now step up, hand in your three waivers, take your scroll, and choose a gate. You still have a little time to say goodbye to life."
Many genin swallowed hard. The Forest of Death was waiting.
"We need to talk," Menma said quietly as soon as the first foreign teams went for their scrolls.
Four teams of classmates gathered aside, away from prying eyes and ears. They stood in a semicircle, covering one another from wandering looks.
"Since we agreed not to attack each other," Menma began, glancing at his peers, "we might as well help each other."
"You want me to…" Hinata hesitated for a moment, but her gaze turned determined. "To look at which scrolls the others get?"
Menma nodded.
"Alright," Hinata took a deep breath and formed a seal. "I need to concentrate."
The veins at her temples bulged—the Byakugan opened. She pulled out a notebook and her pen scratched quickly across the paper. The others stood around her like a shield, blocking her from prying eyes.
After about five minutes Hinata exhaled and clicked the pen closed.
"Done," she said, showing her notes. "But a warning… Neji did the same thing."
"Who cares," Sasuke said coldly, arms crossed. "He's with Lee's team. They're not here, so they're outside our alliance."
"Even so," Menma said evenly, "if possible, try not to cripple anyone from Konoha. We'll still have to work with them later."
The words hung like a heavy weight. Everyone nodded. Each of them knew "accidents" might happen in the Forest of Death, but at least a pretense of decency was worth keeping.
Finally, it was Team Eleven's turn. Menma stepped forward as leader and took their scroll. They got "Heaven."
He hadn't yet returned to the girls when Kabuto appeared beside him. His glasses flashed, and his voice was barely audible:
"Orochimaru-sama has fulfilled your request. To receive the gift… you must be the first to reach the tower."
It hit Menma like a lightning bolt. His heart skipped a beat. Kabuto, that loathsome snake, immediately melted into the crowd and returned to his team without leaving any chance for questions.
"Brother," Naruko came close, lips pressed tightly with worry. "What did he say to you?"
"Nothing," Menma forced a carefree tone. "Just wished me luck."
Naruko narrowed her eyes, clearly unconvinced, but she didn't press the issue in front of everyone.
"The exam starts in five minutes," she said, turning to Karin. "Which gate?"
"Twelve."
The girls left. Menma remained standing, staring tensely at nothing.
[Unbelievable. Five minutes before the start—and this bombshell! Kabuto, you could've said it yesterday, this morning, even an hour ago… but no. Orochimaru has to savor my torment. Damn lunatic.]
Menma ran Hinata's list through his mind. Six Konoha teams had Earth scrolls. He wouldn't touch them. The rest were targets. Finding them with his sensory abilities wasn't a problem. The problem was time. He'd have to move like a storm: neutralize opponents, snatch the scroll, and sprint to the tower. Faster than any other lucky bastard.
[Too unreliable… one tough opponent and I'm finished. Which means I need another plan. Simplest option: rush straight to the tower and set up a trap there. But what if one of our own arrives with both scrolls already?]
And then it clicked.
[I need another sprinter like me. Someone with an Earth scroll who'll also try to go straight to the tower.]
Goosebumps ran down his back.
[This is madness. It's deadly. But it might work.]
He focused, used his sensory ability, and locked onto the right team. A second later he vanished with a shunshin.
Three figures appeared before him. A guy in a black hooded outfit with ears like Batman. A girl in a white dress, an enormous fan on her back and arrogance in her eyes. And—a familiar red-haired boy carrying a massive gourd on his shoulder.
"Hey!" Kankuro snapped, stepping back. "What are you doing here?!"
"Quiet," Menma shot him an icy glare. The air itself seemed to grow heavier. "I've already seen how you tremble just at my presence. I'm interested in the one who doesn't."
Kankuro paled, his lips quivering. Temari stiffened too, instinctively stepping back. But Gaara… smiled.
"Uzumaki Menma," he whispered, madness gleaming in his eyes. "You intrigued me yesterday. I am Gaara. And I want to kill you."
"Perfect," Menma answered coldly. "So why wait for the third stage? Let's satisfy our thirst right now. Both of us run to the tower, and there we settle who survives."
"Gaara, don't!" Temari cried, almost pleading. "It's obviously a trap!"
"Shut up," her brother's voice cut like a knife. "The only reason you're still alive is because I need to advance."
Temari shrank as if struck by an icy wind.
Gaara closed his eyes, as if weighing the choice. At last he spoke, slowly, savoring each word:
"Agreed. Bring your sister. I want to mix her blood with my sand too."
Menma looked at him calmly, though inside everything was boiling.
[Orochimaru, I hope you're happy. Enjoy the bloodbath, you bastard.]