"Oh, Mister Heartthrob, you finally decided to grace us with your presence."
The sarcasm hit me the moment I walked into the classroom, courtesy of Suzune Horikita.
I just chuckled in response, slipping easily into our usual dynamic.
"Oh? Are you finally acknowledging my natural charm, Suzune-chan? Have you come to admit that I'm more handsome than your beloved brother, and frankly, superior to him in every conceivable way?"
If you want to attack someone, you aim for their most sensitive spot—the thing that hurts the most, the insecurity they nurse in secret.
For Suzune, that was undoubtedly any comparison involving her brother.
The trigger worked perfectly.
"What did you just say, Takashi?" Her voice dropped, cold and dangerous. "Are you tired of living?"
"Don't be so sensitive, Suzune-chan," I waved a hand dismissively, my grin widening. "I'm just joking around, like you do. See? We're having fun with each other. It's our thing."
I casually slid into my seat.
She was practically fuming, a flush of anger coloring her cheeks. "Your jokes suck."
"Nah, they're great," I countered, leaning back. "If a joke doesn't land, nobody reacts. The fact that you're so triggered, so reactive, proves it hit the mark. A bad joke is one that gets ignored. Plain and simple."
I tossed the little bit of twisted logic at her, a "wise" word she very clearly did not want to hear or learn.
"Anyway," she said, shifting gears, her tone laced with a new, sharper venom. "Congratulations, Scumbag-kun. You've officially bagged the queen bee of this school. So, please do us both a favor and stay away from me from now on. I have zero interest in the drama from your new girlfriend, or becoming a target of your… scumbaggery."
There it was—the real source of her pissy mood, laid out instead of just layered in sarcasm.
I shrugged, playing it cool. "I think you're misunderstanding the situation, Suzune. But… whatever."
Her eyes narrowed, sharp and analytical. "So she hasn't actually confessed?"
"She did," I admitted, lowering my voice to ensure our conversation stayed between us. "But our relationship isn't what you're imagining. This stays between us—I won't reveal her details. All you need to know is that she needs my help with something, and I need her to do something for me. It's a mutually beneficial arrangement. A win-win."
I neatly omitted the more… physical aspects of our understanding—the heated grinding, the intense kissing.
The details weren't relevant to the transactional core I was selling.
Suzune Horikita, ever the rationalist when not emotionally baited, seemed to buy the pragmatic explanation.
Her expression softened marginally into something resembling apology. "I'm sorry for making the worst assumption about you, Takashi. I thought the two of you were really…"
"We are," I interrupted her before she could finish walking back her suspicion entirely. "She's going to announce our relationship publicly."
She frowned, falling into a puzzled silence. After all, I'd just told her, in not so many words, that not everything is as it seems.
She'd been scolded for assuming before knowing the full story, and now, faced with contradictory statements, she decided to retreat—to withhold judgment until the confusing, frustrating pieces finally clicked into place.
"So, are you actually boyfriend and girlfriend or what?" she demanded, her voice tight with a frustration that bordered on anger.
"More or less. And not quite," I answered, my tone deliberately vague as always, giving her nothing solid to grasp.
She let out a cold, dismissive snort. "Fine. If you don't want to tell me, then don't. Just don't bother me anymore. I'm trying to read."
I shrugged, completely unfazed. After all, a woman's jealousy was a common, almost predictable reaction when the guy she had feelings for got close to someone else.
Honestly, it was better that way.
If they weren't jealous, I'd start questioning whether their feelings were even sincere to begin with.
Only simps fear a woman's possessiveness; gigachads recognize it as validation.
That simmering possessiveness, that irrational irritation—it was a messy, honest proof of investment.
The only women who buried those feelings, who stomached their pride and traded their dignity for straight-up cash, were the kept women.
I knew that type intimately.
One of my ex-girlfriend's mothers was a mistress to a powerful politician.
That was the whole reason I broke things off with the girl.
She was the politician's illegitimate daughter, and we'd attended the same school way back when.
I had to admit, she was one of the best girlfriends I'd ever had. This was before the whole chatbot era, before the internet really blew up.
She was the one who helped me skip class, my homework, and was a full partner in crime for every bit of trouble we stirred up.
More of a criminal accomplice than a conventional girlfriend, really. It's a pity she knew absolutely nothing about gaming.
Our relationship ultimately ended because her father was a colossal jerk. That's a big part of why I hate politicians—their mess always spills over and ruins good things.
Leaving Suzune to her fuming, I wandered out of the classroom.
I finally ended up at the library.
Yeah, trying to read in Class D was impossible.
The place was fucking noisy, full of retards like Yamauchi and Ike Kanji endlessly debating women's breast sizes and spewing every other incel topic crammed into their hollow heads.
I'm not sure how Suzune could even attempt to focus in that chaos.
The library, by contrast, was cooler, quieter, and actually fit for thought.
And there she was.
A girl with silvery-blue hair, bent over a table.
She had one of those cute, soft faces that made her look naïve and a little dumb at first glance.
But don't let that fool you.
She was undoubtedly smarter than most people in this school—hell, undoubtedly smarter than most readers of webnovels, at least.
The quiet, calculating kind of smart that didn't need to broadcast itself.
"Ah, it's rare to see someone else who spends their lunch break in the library instead of gathering with friends. What is your name?" The girl asked me, her voice as soft and cute as her appearance.
The Impregnation System, upon scanning this rare breed, undeniably beeped in approval at her sheer cuteness.
Quest Issued: Breed Hiyori Shiina
Reward: (I left this blank for now. I'm fucking out of ideas for a good reward. If you have any, go for it. I'll edit this paragraph later and let you know when the updated version is released.)
"Takashi Ichinose," I introduced myself to the cute breeding target before me—ahem, I mean, to Hiyori Shiina.
"Nice to meet you then, Ichinose-sensei. My name is Hiyori Shiina," she introduced herself softly, a gentle smile on her lips.
"Shiina, huh? No wonder you're so cute, Shiina-chan. It seems everyone with the name Shiina is destined to be a cute girl," I chuckled, laying on the charm.
"Ah, is that so? But don't most men prefer sexy women over cute ones?" Shiina looked at me with a hint of playful doubt. "I didn't know you were such a flirt, Ichinose-sensei. My first impression of you was the nerdy, silent type, considering how many books you've written."
"Nah, I'm a jack-of-all-trades. I'm a nerd, a jock, a playboy, a programmer, a billionaire, a philanthropist, an artist, an actor, and so much more. Don't compare me to stereotypes or lesser men, Shiina. They aren't worthy of the comparison," I asserted with a confident smirk.
"So you admit you're a playboy," Shiina deadpanned.
But she didn't step back or show any sign of avoiding me—she just responded with indifference, probably thinking I was joking.
Well, that's the power of wordplay. Sometimes the truth is taken as a joke, and a joke is mistaken for the truth.
When you speak, you should be boastful and arrogant enough that people don't take your words seriously. Then, in the future, if they try to blame you for being a playboy and messing around with multiple women behind their backs—even though you'd already told them the truth—they can only blame themselves.
It's not your fault. That's how I always get away with so many problems. Because I told the truth, not a lie.
Of course, this approach also lowered Shiina's guard. Her vigilance visibly loosened. After all, who doesn't let their defenses down around someone who's funny and seemingly full of hot air?
In the eyes of others, a person who can toss out light, relatable jokes is seen as bright and sunny—the kind of guy who's popular in any group.
What they never suspect is that this very same man, who lightens the mood with casual humor, can also deliver a dark joke about suicide, death, profound suffering, or outright sadism—and people will still laugh, just as hard.
Maybe I have the potential to be the Joker.
"So, Ichinose-sensei, did you come here to read too?" Shiina asked, tilting her head slightly.
"No. I came here to pick up a girl. Obviously, I'm. I mean, look at you, Shiina—what a pointless question," I replied, rolling my eyes with exaggerated exasperation.
She chuckled softly, taking it as the joke it was meant to be. "Thanks for lightening the mood, Ichinose-sensei. Honestly, I wish you were in the same class as me so we could talk more often. Not many people appreciate books these days."
"I wish the same," I grinned, inwardly pleased. She hasn't noticed Ayanokouji yet.
If she had, she wouldn't be saying that—after all, in the original story, she befriended him precisely because they shared this same quiet, bookish hobby.
She offered a soft, genuine smile. "Well then, I won't bother you any longer, Ichinose-sensei. Happy reading."
"Happy reading," I nodded back.
We settled into a comfortable silence, each immersed in our own books, not feeling the need to fill the air with unnecessary words.
The quiet companionship lasted until the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. We parted with a simple nod, each heading back to our respective classes.
And just like that, I've added another option to the list.
Now, I have multiple potential candidates to pursue, each with their own locations and routines to discover.
It's starting to feel more and more like a dating sim—the uncensored, eroge edition.
I've successfully unlocked Hiyori Shiina's route. At the very least, that makes the path to dating her—and everything that entails—infinitely easier.
Now it was just a matter of playing through her events until I reached the breeding scene.
...
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