- Four Months Later
*Step~ Step~ Step~*
In the middle of the night, Shinjuro paced back and forth along the engawa, his heavy footsteps betraying his worry.
Kyojuro slept soundly with his head pillowed on Kagerou's lap. The elder boy leaned against one of the wooden posts, gray eyes turned toward the pale moon as he exhaled a thin stream of smoke from his kiseru.
A strange sight for a child his age. At first, Shinjuro had forbidden it, no son of his would hold a pipe before he was grown. But when Kagerou explained that the foreign tobacco eased his lungs and strengthened his endurance with Breathing, Shinjuro reluctantly allowed it. Four months later, he could not deny the results. Kagerou's stamina had increased, his control sharpened.
And now, the three of them waited. Waiting for Ruka, who labored inside.
Kagerou looked calmest of them all, but inside… he was the most afraid.
*Step~ Step~ Step~*
"*Tch*…" Kagerou clicked his tongue, careful not to wake Kyojuro. "Father, can you stop that?"
Shinjuro froze mid-stride. "How can I? My wife is giving birth. It's normal to worry. The strange one is you, Kage, aren't you worri-"
"I TO-!" The word came too sharp. Too loud. Kagerou bit it back immediately, his jaw tight.
Shinjuro frowned. "…Kage?"
Kagerou's lips trembled before he steadied them. He drew a breath, then turned to face his father properly.
"…I'm worried too, you know," he admitted. His voice was quiet, almost fragile. "But your pacing... it just makes me more worried"
Shinjuro's scowl softened, if only slightly. "…I see. My apologies." With a sigh, he lowered himself beside Kagerou on the engawa, the two of them sitting shoulder to shoulder under the moonlight.
"You know about Ruka's con-"
"I know," Kagerou cut him off before he could finish. "I always knew, Father." His gray eyes wavered, but his tone sharpened. "That's why… I want to ask you something selfish"
Shinjuro turned his head. "Something selfish?"
Kagerou swallowed. "Father… can you stop being a Hashira?"
Shinjuro blinked. "…What did you just say?"
"I mean it," Kagerou pressed on, his voice trembling but unyielding. "Mother's condition is worse than she shows. What she shows you is just the surface, so you don't have to worry, but after this... After the birth, it will only get worse. I... I…" His throat closed, the words dragging out painfully. "…At this rate, in two or three years, she'll-"
*SLAP!*
The sound cracked through the night.
Kagerou's head snapped to the side, his pipe tumbling from his lips and clattering against the wooden floor. His cheek burned hot against the cool night air, eyes wide in shock.
Slowly, he lifted a hand to touch the sting, then turned back toward Shinjuro.
The Flame Hashira loomed over him, hand trembling, his face twisted with fury.
"...How dare you? She's loved you as her own. I too, Kyojuro depends on you more than on me. You are family, but you… All of us love you, yet you-"
Shinjuro's voice faltered. The pained look on Kagerou's face strangled the rest of his words. It's not the pain of the slap, it's not... And for Shinjuro to finish the thought felt like betrayal.
"What? Say it. Say it, Father." Kagerou's voice was soft, but heavy with emotion. His gray eyes glimmered like ash in moonlight. "If it makes you feel better, hit me again... Shinjuro-san. But promise me, it's only me. No one else. If it eases your heart, then do it. Do it, Shinjuro-san"
"..."
Shinjuro's breath trembled. He was the one who had struck, yet the wound had carved deepest into himself. His hand still hovered mid-air, and his chest felt hollow.
"What… what have I done?" His voice cracked. He stared at his trembling hands, then at Kagerou in disbelief. "K-Kage… I… this isn't me. My emotions... they…" He swallowed, guilt twisting his face. "Kage, I'm sorry"
Kagerou stood in silence. Then, slowly, he bent down and lifted Kyojuro, still asleep on the floor, into his arms.
"…I'll move Kyojuro to his room." His voice was low, calm, but heavy with resolve. "Think carefully about what I said. I'm not asking you to quit tomorrow, Shinjuro-san. I only want you to spend more time with Mother. If you still see me as family, then please… consider it. This isn't just for her. It's for you. For all of us. That's all I ask"
He turned away, his footsteps soft against the wooden engawa. Before leaving, he cast one last glance at Shinjuro's back, the same back that once stood firm as a shield against demons. That once shielded him, but tonight, that back looked tired, fragile, weighed down by regret.
As Kagerou walked, a gentle tug pulled on his yukata. He looked down. Kyojuro's eyes were open, staring up at him, glimmering with childlike worry.
"Kage-nii… did you fight with Father? What about Mother?"
Kagerou forced a smile. "Everything's fine. Go back to sleep. When you wake up, things will be back to normal. Close your eyes, Kyojuro. Everything will be fine… I'll make sure of it"
"Mm~…" Kyojuro hummed softly, drifting back into slumber. Yet even in sleep, his small hand clung tightly to Kagerou's yukata, as if refusing to let go.
#A/N: "Hufft~ It's hard to write this chapter, heavy... Oh, and by the way, for the purpose of the story, I'll change Kagerou's age from eight to seven. This is for the continuation of the story. I hope you understand and can accept it"