- Morning in the Rengoku Residence
Years ago, almost every morning, Kagerou would train, sometimes alone, sometimes under Shinjuro's silent, heavy gaze. But after creating the Ninth Form of Smoke Breathing, he hit a wall.
Not the kind that marked completion.
But the kind that whispered there was more, just beyond reach, yet no matter how many times he pushed himself, that barrier refused to crack.
That was why, in these recent years, Kagerou's training shifted.
Not physical.
But mental.
---
When the sun rose over the horizon and the first birds began to sing, Kagerou sat quietly at the engawa, letting the morning light spill over his shoulders. His eyes remained closed, his breath even, his posture still.
From the outside, he looked peaceful.
But inside his mind... Kagerou was the busiest person in the entire household.
He repeated every form of Smoke Breathing he had ever created, letting them swirl, break apart, and re-form within the vast darkness of his inner world.
First Form: Soul Mist.
Second Form: Smoke Step.
Third Form: Shrouded Shadow.
Fourth Form: Phantom Dance.
Fifth Form: Vanishing Ember.
Sixth Form: One Line.
Seventh Form: Silent Killer.
Eighth Form: Illusion.
Ninth Form: Poison.
Again.
And again.
And again.
Each time he visualized a form, it changed, just like real smoke, shifting shape with every breath of wind.
Every stance revealed branches, subtle variations, pathways he had not taken, possibilities that appeared for a moment before dissolving.
And still… that wall remained.
Unmoving.
Opaque.
Waiting.
Kagerou exhaled softly, and a thin wisp of smoke slipped past his lips.
Not the end.
He knew it.
He felt it.
But whatever lay beyond the Ninth Form... he had yet to grasp.
After a long while, Kagerou finally opened his eyes. A soft sigh slipped from his lips, trailing into the cool morning air like a fading ribbon of smoke.
"…Another failure. What do I need to break that wall?" he murmured, reaching into his haori to pull out his kiseru. The familiar weight sat comfortably between his fingers. "Is it really the end?"
*Step*
A quiet footstep on the wooden floor.
Kagerou turned his head.
Obanai Iguro stood there, silent as always, with the pale snake around his neck watching Kagerou with unblinking eyes. It hissed softly, more a warning than a greeting.
"…Obanai," Kagerou said, shifting slightly to make room. "You're up early, huh? Come, sit with me"
Obanai didn't reply, but he approached with that rigid, careful gait of his and settled down beside him on the engawa.
"How's your night?, Kagerou asked.
"…Good," Obanai answered, barely above a whisper.
Kagerou couldn't help a small chuckle at the shortness of it and lifted his hand to ruffle Obanai's hair, only to stop mid-motion when the snake hissed sharply again. Kagerou pulled his hand back with a helpless smile.
"…I'm glad you felt good," he said.
Obanai's eyes lowered slightly. "It's soft and fragrant… I like it"
Then, suddenly, he turned his head to look directly at Kagerou. His mismatched eyes caught the morning light as Kagerou inhaled from his kiseru, releasing a slow stream of silver smoke.
"…How does it feel?" Obanai asked.
"Hm? This?" Kagerou blinked, gesturing with the pipe. "It's good for me"
Obanai shook his head. Slowly. Deliberately.
"No. Not that"
"Huh? Then what?"
A pause. The snake coiled tighter, as if sensing the shift in Obanai's heartbeat.
Obanai's voice came out quieter, almost fragile.
"How does it feel to receive gratitude from others?" His fingers curled slightly in the fabric of his haori. "Is it… Good?"
"Is it good, you ask? No," Kagerou answered plainly. "It feels strange"
"Stran-"
"But Obanai," Kagerou continued, "everyone receives things differently. Maybe it feels strange for me… but out there, someone might enjoy it. Maybe for someone else, it's the very thing that keeps them goin"
He leaned back slightly, smoke curling around his face like a soft veil.
"... I can't answer your question because it's not something you learn from listening. You have to experience it yourself, the feeling of being thanked. Only then will you know your own answer. For me, it's strange… so what about you?"
"I… I don't know"
"That's why you need to experience it," Kagerou said gently. "What if someone's gratitude ends up making you happy? No one knows until it happens, right?"
Obanai lowered his head, shadows gathering beneath his mismatched eyes.
"I… I don't think I could do that," he whispered, staring at his hands as if they were stained. "I was… 'tainted' I'm unworthy of happiness-"
*Pat*
Despite the snake coiling in warning, Kagerou set his hand on Obanai's head anyway, firm, warm, unwavering.
"…Don't say something like that, Obanai." His voice softened but carried weight. "No one in this world is unworthy of happiness. Everyone has the right to feel it. You are no exception"
"But I… my family-"
"What about them?" Kagerou cut in gently. "They are them, and you are you. What they did, what sins they carry, it isn't your burden"
Kagerou tapped Obanai's forehead lightly with his fingertips.
"The 'taint' on your family isn't painted on your canvas. You're not tainted, Obanai. You're your own person. You have to believe that"
Obanai's throat bobbed, and the white snake curled around his shoulders, flicking its tongue against his cheek, almost as if sensing the turmoil brewing inside him.
"…Kagerou," Obanai whispered. A single word, trembling between fear and a fragile sliver of hope. "Can I really do it?"
Kagerou exhaled a slow stream of smoke, watching it fade into the morning sunlight. "I don't know"
Obanai's head snapped up slightly. "But you said-"
"Obanai," Kagerou cut him off gently, "is it my life… or yours?"
He tapped his own chest, then pointed lightly toward Obanai. "It's your life. So I can't give you an answer. You have to experience it yourself... feel it, live it. Only then can you decide what it means to you"
"Then… what if in the end," he murmured, "I wasn't happy at all?"
Kagerou turned his gaze toward the distant garden, where morning dew sparkled on the leaves.
"Hm~ Then let me ask you this… what do you think happiness is?"
Obanai lowered his head further, bangs casting shadows over his mismatched eyes. His fingers trembled faintly on his lap.
"…I don't know," he admitted, quiet, raw, honest. The words left his mouth like a confession he had never allowed himself to voice.
Kagerou exhaled softly through his nose, a thin stream of smoke rising like a ghost between them.
"That's fine," he said. "You don't have to know right now"
Obanai's brows drew together, faint frustration or shame tightening his shoulders.
"But… if I don't even know what happiness is, how can I chase it? How can I find something I've never felt?"
Kagerou tilted his head, watching him with calm eyes that reflected morning sunlight.
"You start by learning what isn't happiness," he said. "Loneliness… fear… guilt. If you know those, then when something different appears... something warmer, you'll notice it"
Obanai stared at him quietly, like a child trying to understand a language he'd never heard spoken gently before.
"And," Kagerou added, tapping the kiseru against the engawa lightly, "happiness isn't always something big or dramatic. Sometimes it's small. Tiny, even"
"...Like what?"
"Well… like this"
Kagerou nudged his shoulder against Obanai's lightly, not enough to startle, but enough to be felt.
"Talking with you in the morning. Watching the sun rise. Sitting quietly without needing anything more. These might not be happiness for everyone… but for me, they're not bad"
Obanai blinked, the snake lifting its head slightly as if listening.
Kagerou continued, voice calm and certain:
"Happiness changes depending on the person. You don't need to understand it all at once. You just need to give yourself the chance to feel it"
Obanai swallowed, staring at his hands again, but this time, the tension in his fingers loosened just a little.
"…Kagerou"
"Hm?"
"You make it sound easy"
Kagerou chuckled. "It's not. But that's why it's worth trying"
The snake nudged Obanai's chin, and for the first time, Obanai didn't push it away. His voice trembled, so soft it was almost lost to the morning breeze:
"…Can we… Stay a little longer here?"
Kagerou looked at him, really looked, and smiled faintly.
"I'm not going anywhere"