Tsunade watched him from the bar, leaning back with a studied laziness, holding a glass of water she wished was something stronger. She had been watching him for an hour. The orange kid couldn't stay still.
He bounced his leg. He stood up. Took three steps. Sat back down. Looked out the window. Sighed loudly, exaggeratedly.
"Are we leaving yet, Granny?" he asked for the fifth time in ten minutes, his voice a high pitched whine.
"No," she replied, without turning.
"But we've been here... forever! Tsunade is going to get away."
"Probably," Tsunade muttered.
Naruto collapsed onto the table, hitting his forehead against the wood with a dull thud. "I'm dying of boredom. This town sucks. There's nothing to do. Aren't you hungry? I could eat ten bowls of ramen right now."
"I don't have money for ramen," she said curtly.
"But I do!" he exclaimed, sitting up straight and pulling out his ridiculous frog wallet. He opened it. A couple of coins and a crumpled bill fell out. "Ah... well. I have money for half a bowl of ramen. Maybe."
Tsunade glanced at him sideways. The brat. The source of all her recent financial problems, even if he didn't know it. And yet...
Okay, Tsunade. Moment of truth, she thought, completely ignoring logic and embracing financial desperation. My theory is that the brat brings good luck. It's a completely crazy hypothesis, based on zero scientific evidence and lots, and lots of accumulated debt.
It had started as an internal joke. Since she met the boy a few hours ago and pretended to help him look for Tsunade, her streak of bad luck had disappeared.
But... her mind clung to the idea, what if his presence absorbs bad luck? What if he's a lightning rod for disaster, and if I stick to him... I win?
It was the stupidest idea she'd had in years. And she'd had some stupid ideas.
I just need one test. One small, controlled test. And I need him to come with me without suspecting anything.
She straightened up and let out an exaggerated yawn, so fake that even Naruto looked at her suspiciously.
"Ugh, so boring," she said, stretching. "This town is dead outside of the dives. You still here, brat? I thought you'd have run off to find trouble by now."
"Of course I'm still here!" Naruto replied, jumping to his feet. "I'm waiting for my team! And I'm bored! I just told you that!"
"Yeah, yeah, I heard you," she said, waving for him to lower his voice. "Hmm... Bored, you say..." Tsunade touched her chin, faking deep thought. "Hey, I just thought of something. Completely random."
Naruto looked at her, expectant, his blue eyes shining with the first spark of interest in an hour.
"A 'social club'," Naruto repeated, frowning. "What's that? A place where people sit around talking about how boring this town is? Sounds worse than waiting here."
"No, idiot," Tsunade replied, forcing a casual tone. "It's... exclusive. Very exclusive. For important people, you get it? High ranking ninja, rich merchants, people who pull the strings."
Naruto's curiosity grew.
"Important people go there to relax and, you know, exchange 'information'," she continued, lowering her voice conspiratorially. "Secrets. Rumors. Stuff you wouldn't hear at a ramen stand."
Naruto's eyes went wide.
"Maybe," Tsunade added with studied indifference, "someone there has heard something about that... Tsunade you're looking for."
That was the perfect bait. Naruto reacted immediately.
"Really!?" he almost shouted.
"Shhh," she hissed. "Maybe. Maybe not. It's just an idea. We could take a quick look. Just to kill time, of course. Not that I expect to find anything. But it's better than staying here, right?"
A private club! Naruto thought, excitement building in him. With important people! And secret information! This sounds like a spy mission! Way better than sitting here! This old lady really knows how to have fun!
"Let's go!" he said, grabbing her arm and pulling. "What are we waiting for? Maybe that Tsunade lady is there!"
"Calm down, brat, you don't want to look too eager," she said, letting herself be dragged along with a triumphant internal smile. "In those places, you have to act like you belong. Calmly. With... dignity."
"Right, right! Dignity! Got it!" Naruto exclaimed, as he nearly tripped over a chair on the way out.
Tsunade sighed. This is going to be a disaster.
She led him through a couple of crowded streets, with Naruto bouncing beside her, asking questions she ignored.
"Think they'll have free food? Will there be other ninja? Think they'll let me in with my orange jacket? It's my lucky color! Hey, Granny, are you important? Is that why they'll let us in?"
"Just shut up and walk," Tsunade growled.
She turned down a narrower alley, then another even darker one. The smell of noodles and tea was replaced by that of damp trash and spilled sake.
"Hey, Granny... this 'exclusive club' is in a pretty ugly part of town, don't you think?"
"The best secrets are always in the worst places," she snapped.
They stopped in front of an unmarked wooden door, just a small peephole at eye level. A burly man, with huge arms and an unfriendly expression, stood by the door, blocking the way. He wore a suit that was too small for him and chewed on a toothpick.
From inside, you could hear the unmistakable sound of gambling chips clacking, dice rolling on felt, and the excited murmur of a crowd.
Naruto sniffed the air.
"Hey, Granny," he said, frowning. "...Are you sure this is a 'social club'?"
Tsunade ignored him completely and greeted the guard with surprising familiarity.
"Hey. Quiet night?"
The gorilla looked her up and down, his expression unchanged. He took the toothpick out of his mouth. "Ah, Blondie. Quiet night. So far."
Naruto tensed. "You know him? You come to this club a lot?"
"You here to cause trouble again?" the guy continued, ignoring Naruto. "The manager wasn't happy last time. You said that bet on the 'limping cat' in the rat race was a sure thing."
"The cat was limping, I saw it myself!" Tsunade protested. "It's not my fault it decided to take a nap at the starting line."
"Whatever," the man said, his voice deep, "we don't want any scandals today. You got money to cover your bets?"
Tsunade gave him a charming smile that didn't reach her eyes. "I always have money. I'm feeling lucky today."
"That's what you said Tuesday. And Thursday. And last Saturday," he replied, but stepped aside. "The kid gets in free. He looks dumb enough not to know how to count cards."
"Hey! I know how to count just fine! One, two, three...!"
"Just get in!" Tsunade shoved Naruto through the doorway.
The name the guard had used... Blondie?! Naruto thought, but the name didn't fully register in his excited brain. It must be a weird nickname, like 'Bushy Brow' or 'Pervy Sage'. Yeah, 'Blondie' must mean 'Granny who loses bets' or something.
"The best 'informants' usually have the worst taste, brat," she whispered in his ear as they entered. "Now get in there and try not to draw attention."
The advice came too late.
The place was exactly what Naruto had suspected: a medium sized underground casino. A cloud of smoke hung near the ceiling. Card tables filled with tense looking men who didn't look up from their hands. A roulette wheel spinning in a corner, attracting the most desperate. And in the center, the loudest, most crowded table: the dice table.
"WHOA!" Naruto shouted, his voice echoing in the tense silence. "This place is amazing! It's got so many games! Although everyone looks sad!"
Several heads turned. A man with an eye patch spat on the floor. Tsunade smacked him on the back of the head.
"Incognito, you idiot! Incognito!"
"Ow! Okay, okay! Incognito!" he whispered, rubbing his head.
Tsunade headed straight for the dice table, moving through the crowd with the confidence of someone on their home turf. Naruto followed, his eyes wide, fascinated by the chaotic, energetic atmosphere. He'd never been in a place like this. It was way more exciting than Ichiraku!
"Place your bets, gentlemen! Place your bets!" shouted a croupier in a flashy vest and a thin mustache. "You can't win if you don't play!"
Tsunade pushed her way through, dragging Naruto with her. She pulled a couple of crumpled bills from her pocket and exchanged them for a handful of chips.
"Let's start small," she muttered to herself. She tossed a couple of chips onto the table. "Low," she said confidently.
The croupier rolled the dice. They rolled, bounced, and stopped. A six and a five. Eleven. High.
"Dammit!" Tsunade cursed, watching them rake in her money. Her streak was still intact.
Okay, test number one, she thought, glancing at Naruto. The kid was distracted, trying to see what a waitress was carrying on a tray. He seemed completely oblivious to the financial drama that had just occurred. Let him choose. Naturally. No pressure.
She elbowed him hard enough to nearly knock him over.
"Hey, you, orange kid! Pay attention!"
"Huh? What's up?" he asked, turning. "Are we leaving? Did you find Tsunade?"
"Shut up about that," she hissed. "We're... gathering info. I need your expert opinion."
"Expert? In what?"
"In... odds." Tsunade pointed to the table with her chin. "What's your gut feeling? High numbers or low numbers?"
Naruto looked at the table, confused. He saw the dice, the painted lines, the chips. Then he looked at the waitress walking away. "I dunno... High!" he said suddenly.
"High? Why?" Tsunade asked, skeptical.
"Because you always gotta aim high, believe it! You aim to be Hokage, not a low ranking Genin!"
Hokage again. This kid is an idiot, Tsunade thought. It was childish, ridiculous logic. Perfect.
She followed her instinct... or rather, the kid's instinct. She gathered the few chips she had left and stacked them on the 'High' section. "All on High," she declared.
The croupier looked at her with pity. "All on High. Good luck, Sucker."
"Sucker? Why is he calling you...?"
The dice rolled. The crowd held its breath. They bounced off the padded wall. They stopped. Six and five! Eleven! High!
A small pile of chips was pushed toward her.
Tsunade's eyes shone brightly. She stared at the chips. She had won. She hadn't won a simple bet like that in weeks.
It worked! she thought, feeling a tingle of excitement. I don't believe it! It has to be a coincidence! Just a coincidence. Obviously.
Naruto hit her on the arm. "Awesome, Granny! You won! See? Told ya! Aim high! Does this mean we have money for ramen now?"
"Don't get excited, brat," she said, trying to sound calm, though her heart was starting to beat faster. Let's do it again. Just to be sure.
"Brat," she said, her voice a little sweeter now. "Even or odd?"
Naruto was staring at an 'Electrical Hazard' warning sign hanging crookedly on the wall. "Huh? What'd you say?"
"Even or odd. Quick!"
"I dunno... Odd? Because of that sign!" he pointed. "It's hanging by just one nail. It's about to fall. It's an unstoppable danger! And it's just one!"
Flawless logic, Tsunade thought.
"Odd," Tsunade repeated, and shoved all her winnings onto the 'Odd' square.
The dice rolled. Three and two. Five! Odd!
Another pile of chips, bigger this time, slid toward her.
The murmuring around the table grew louder.
"Hey, isn't that the Legendary Loser?"
"Yeah, but... she's winning."
Two in a row! Tsunade thought, feeling breathless. This isn't normal! I never win two in a row! Never! It's him! It has to be him!
She looked at Naruto. The kid was now pointing at a very fat man trying to push his way through the crowd, sweating profusely.
"Whoa!" Naruto exclaimed. "That guy is huge! He's worth two people! He's a pair of men!"
"Even!" Tsunade shouted, anticipating. She bet everything on 'Even'!
The dice rolled. Four and four. Eight! Even!
The chips piled up in front of her. It was a huge stack. People weren't murmuring anymore; they were staring. The croupier wiped sweat from his forehead.
"C-congrats, lady," he stammered.
Three! Three in a row! It's him! He's my good luck charm! My orange good luck leech!
"Hey, orange kid!" she said, grabbing his arm, her voice thick with barely contained excitement. She wasn't faking indifference anymore. She was in the zone.
"What? What? You won again? You're awesome!"
"Shut up and concentrate! I need inspiration! Tell me your favorite color!"
"Orange, of course!" he replied, with total obviousness. "It's the color of winners! And Hokages!"
Tsunade scanned the dice table frantically. There was no bet for orange. "Crap! No orange! Another color?"
"Uh, blue! The color of the sky! Or Sasuke's eyes, even though he's a jerk!"
No blue either. The gambling fever was consuming her. She saw the roulette table right next to them. It was crowded.
"Move!" she yelled, shoving people aside to make room. She dragged Naruto with her. "And your favorite number? Quick!"
"My number?" Naruto thought for a second. "Seven! Because I'm on Team Seven! And we're gonna be the best ninja Konoha has ever seen, believe it!"
Tsunade smiled, an almost manic grin. It was perfect.
"Seven!" she shouted at the roulette croupier, pushing the huge pile of chips she'd won from the dice game. It was a ridiculous bet, with sky high odds.
The roulette croupier raised an eyebrow. "All on seven, lady? That's... risky."
"Just spin the damn wheel!" she snapped.
The crowd from the dice table had moved with her. The entire casino seemed to be watching.
"She's crazy. She's gonna lose it all."
"She's the Sucker. It was only a matter of time."
The wheel spun. "No more bets." The little white ball was tossed. It bounced, dancing over the numbers. Click, clack, click, clack...
Naruto watched, mesmerized by the motion.
The ball began to slow. It bounced off the three. Jumped to the thirty. And finally... it landed.
"Seven. Red. Odd."
The people at the table erupted. Tsunade let out a shout of pure euphoria, a shout she'd been holding in for years of losses.
"YES! YES! YES!"
An obscene amount of chips was pushed toward her.
I DID IT! I'M RICH! RICH! she thought, feeling like she was going to explode with happiness. IT'S HIM! THE ORANGE BRAT IS MY PERSONAL GOOD LUCK CHARM! My orange charm! MY CURSE IS BROKEN! FINALLY! SOMEONE BRING MORE SAKE!
She started laughing, a loud, uninhibited laugh that made people turn to look. She grabbed Naruto by the shoulders, lifted him off the ground, and gave him a hug that nearly cracked his ribs.
"You're amazing, Naruto! You're my hero!"
"Granny... air... can't breathe!" Naruto wheezed, completely baffled by the sudden attack of affection.
She put him down, but didn't let go. She patted him awkwardly on the back.
Wow, Granny is in a really good mood today, Naruto thought, catching his breath. This wheel game must be really fun. I wonder why she keeps asking me weird questions. Does it have something to do with luck? And... why is that big, bald guy in the corner looking at us like he wants to rob us? Maybe I should ask Granny to buy me some dango with all that money she's winning. Yeah, I'll do that.
As Tsunade began to collect her winnings, trying to stack them, a burly man in an expensive suit and an unfriendly face approached their table. Two even bigger goons flanked him. It was Taro, the casino manager. His smile was strained and showed no joy.
"Well, well. Looks like luck is on your side tonight, ma'am."
"Looks like it, Taro," Tsunade replied smugly, not stopping her chip stacking. She felt on top of the world. She had completely forgotten her supposed search for information. She had forgotten why she'd brought Naruto. She was in her element, winning, and the feeling was intoxicating.
"Too much, I'd say," the man continued, his voice lowering. "Nobody is this lucky. Especially not someone with your reputation."
Tsunade stopped counting. She looked up, and the joy in her eyes was replaced by a dangerous look. "Are you implying something, Taro? Is your table rigged?"
"I'm implying that streaks end," he said, his eyes shifting to Naruto, who was tugging on the sleeve of Tsunade's green jacket.
"Hey, Granny. Granny. Granny?"
"WHAT!?" she snapped, not taking her eyes off the manager.
"Since you're winning so much... could you lend me a little to buy some dango? They smell really good from here, I think they make them on the corner."
Tsunade let out a laugh, breaking the tension. "Sure, brat, take 'em!" she said, pushing a stack of chips toward him without even looking. "That's enough to buy the whole dango stand! And for ramen! And for whatever you want!"
She turned back to Taro, her confidence at its peak thanks to her charm's presence. "In fact, I think I'll make one last bet. The big one. For the road."
She turned to Naruto, her eyes shining with gambling fever.
"One last one, Naruto! Tell me something! Anything! First thing that pops into your head! I feel like I could even guess the color of the croupier's underwear!"
"Hey!" the croupier yelled, offended.
Naruto looked around, searching for inspiration. He saw the waitress from before. He saw the fat man. He saw the crooked sign. Nothing new. Then, his gaze fixed on the entrance. Someone was trying to shove their way through the crowd, creating a small chaos.
"Lots of people..." he muttered. "And... Hey! That girl has a pig! A pink pig! Look, Granny, how weird!"
"Pig?" Tsunade repeated, confused.
"Yeah! That girl is carrying a little piglet! It's pink and it's squealing a lot!"
Tsunade turned. Sure enough, a young woman with short black hair and an expression of absolute panic was running toward them, pushing her way through. And in her arms, she was carrying a small pink pig that was squealing loudly.
"Pig!" Tsunade yelled at the dice croupier, moving back to that table. "Are there any bets related to pigs?"
The croupier looked at her strangely. "Uh... no. Ma'am, I think you've won enough..."
"Then I'll bet on... pink!" she declared, preparing to push all her chips to the center of the table. "Is there a bet on pink?"
Before the croupier could answer, or Taro could stop her, the young woman reached them, breathless and on the verge of tears.
"TSUNADE-SAMA!" she shouted, her voice full of panic and exasperation. "Finally! You have to get out of here right now! I've been looking all over town for you!"
The pig in her arms let out a sharp "Oink!"
"The collectors from the Kurosaki gang are searching the whole city!" the young woman continued, oblivious to the sudden silence that had fallen over the gambling table. "They're breaking tables at the 'Drunken Dragon'! They say if you don't pay by midnight tonight, they'll turn you over to...!"
She stopped mid-sentence. Her eyes, huge and dark, finally landed on the figure standing right next to Tsunade. A blond boy, dressed in bright orange, who was staring at her with his mouth open in total and absolute confusion.
"Tsunade-sama."
The name echoed in the air, loaded with meaning.
Tsunade froze. The triumphant smile, the gambling fever, the euphoria... all of it vanished from her face, replaced by an expression of pure, absolute panic. Her cover, so carefully maintained, had just been blown in the loudest, most spectacular way possible.
Naruto looked at the young woman. Then at the pig. Then back at the blonde woman he had been calling "Granny."
His brain, slowly but surely, began to connect the dots. The super secret mission... the legendary Sannin they were looking for... the name the girl had just shouted...
He pointed at the "Granny," his finger trembling slightly, his voice a mixture of total disbelief and growing suspicion.
"Wait a minute..." he said slowly.
He turned to the new girl. "What did you call her?"
"I... uh... I-I..." Shizune stammered, now completely pale.
Naruto turned his head, the movement almost comically slow, back to the blonde woman.
"You... are Tsunade?"
Crap, Tsunade thought. Looks like my fun is over.
*******
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