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While confessing her story, Soo-yeon Choi choked several times and reached for water. Each time, her emotions became so intense that she hugged me and cried. And when the story was over, she laughed helplessly, rubbing her dry eyes as if no more tears would come out.
"Ha… Haha… I'm ridiculous, right? I feel like I'm dating alone and falling in love alone. I thought that if you and Yu-ri got along, I would get along with Young-bae… But I was the one who was left out of a party I hadn't even been invited to. Wow, this is the first time I've felt so miserable in my life… Ugh…"
"It's okay. It's going to be hard, so don't say any more. Come here."
I patted the floor next to me. We sat together on the blanket I was sleeping on, leaning our backs against the wall.
"How many times should I beat up that bastard, Gong Young-bae?"
"Yes. Very good."
When I asked the same question, Yu-ri Lee had told me not to do so, but Soo-yeon Choi immediately responded by telling me to hit him. Although her personality was different, it probably meant that she had suffered a lot. Of course, it seemed like she didn't genuinely want me to beat up Gong Young-bae.
Soo-yeon Choi dropped her head to the side helplessly and muttered, resting her head on my shoulder.
"… Senior, do you have alcohol?"
"I have some I bought before that I didn't drink, but why? Are you going to drink?"
"I don't think I can survive if I don't drink."
"You're only a second-year student. What are you going to drink?"
"I'm 20 years old since I repeated a grade."
"Still, no. Looking at what you did earlier, I don't know what you'll do if you get drunk in this state."
At my words, Soo-yeon Choi raised her head for a moment and looked at me, then rested her head on my shoulder again.
"Aren't you surprised? I'm 20 years old."
I couldn't honestly say that because I already knew. Since she was the one who revealed it first, I made a comment to further capture Soo-yeon Choi's heart.
"Then what does it change?"
"Huh?"
"Does it really matter whether you're 19 or 20? All I see in my eyes is a girl whose heart has been broken so badly that she's emotionally unstable."
"… And even though you treated me so well, I'm the woman who ran to Young-bae as soon as I had the chance. You must have been annoyed inside. You must have been disappointed."
"Not at all? Even though you said you liked Gong Young-bae in the first place, I was the one who suggested you take him along to the arcade. If you think about it that way, aren't I the worse person?"
"Yeah, but I… I…"
"Don't try to find reasons to criticize yourself. You're not that bad of a woman."
Soo-yeon Choi brought her knees to her chest and bowed her head. It seemed like she was shedding tears again, as her shoulders were shaking.
I gave her a moment to calm down and then asked another question.
"But I'm curious as to why you repeated a grade. Did you go to study abroad?"
Of course, I knew the reason, but I pretended not to know and asked. My goal was to narrow the distance between Soo-yeon Choi and me by making her share all of her secrets with me.
"… I went to study abroad."
"Oh, study abroad? Where? America? Japan? Europe?"
"When I was in middle school, I went to America. I didn't want to go, but my parents forced me to go there to study for a year…"
"It must have been difficult. Were you able to communicate well?"
"…Living wasn't a problem. But after I finished studying abroad and returned to Korea, I naturally ended up taking a year off… All my friends went to higher-education academies, but I was the only one still in middle school. Do you know how I feel when I find out that a group chat room has been created without me?"
"That must have felt awful."
"All my friends were a grade higher, so I no longer had to run into them, and the kids in my class were ostracizing me… Meanwhile, at home, they were constantly telling me to get better grades."
"Hearing what you say, it seems like you studied quite a bit before, but did you get derailed because of that?"
"… Yes. It was my own way of rebelling. At first, I was scolded and kicked out of the house, but now I'm just treated like a child who gave up at home. It suits me right now, doesn't it? I was abandoned at home, I was separated from my friends, and what was left was a relationship with a delinquent son who was deviant and a fake relationship… Nothing about me is real. He was a man who liked my only supporter, and I was just a convenient junior who could be exploited. I'm just an inconvenience to everyone, and so pathetic that I'm not loved by anyone… Hehe… Ahaha, oh no…"
As Soo-yeon Choi spoke, she began to make more and more self-destructive comments again. I gently held her head and pulled her to my shoulder to stop her. There was no resistance, and Soo-yeon Choi just rested her head on my shoulder.
"Don't talk like that. As I said before, you are a good enough woman. On the contrary, that bastard Gong Young-bae is an idiot. If someone like you, who has a pretty face, kind personality, and a lot of charm, says he likes you, but he doesn't even know that, what kind of man is he? He's pathetic. Or maybe that guy likes men?"
"Phew."
"Isn't there a possibility? If you had done that to me, I would have hugged you with open arms. How can a woman like you cling to him, and he still doesn't respond to her? It's clear. It's clear that that bastard likes men."
"Then aren't you the most dangerous, senior?"
Soo-yeon Choi said, still leaning her head on my shoulder.
"Me?"
"To be honest, you're also quite masculine and handsome. You're tall and have a nice body. Your behavior was a bit… a bit like that, but I don't hear much about it these days. If I were gay, I think I'd target you first, right?"
For a moment, I had a very terrible thought that I shouldn't have, and I shuddered.
"That's creepy. Don't say that because it's scary."
"You started it first."
"You're right. I was wrong. I'm scared, so please don't say that. Do you see that I'm getting goosebumps? Look at my arms."
I showed her my arms, and Soo-yeon Choi traced my forearm with her finger and smiled lightly.
"Senior, you're strange, as expected."
"Why me?"
"There are things I heard directly from my friends, and it's strange that you suddenly changed so much, and it's strange that you're so much kinder than I thought, and I thought you'd ask for my body after I broke up with Gong Young-bae, but you didn't, and it's strange. On that note, I went straight to Young-bae, but you didn't say anything, so it was strange, and since I was abandoned, you brought me home like this. Why are you being so nice to me?"
"What have you been hearing from me so far?"
"Huh?"
I looked directly into Soo-yeon Choi's eyes. Soo-yeon Choi, who was wearing my men's shirt and pants, looked strangely sexier even though she wasn't showing anything.
"Why am I being nice to you? Because you are a very nice girl. Does a man need any more reason to be nice to a girl he likes?"
Soo-yeon Choi's eyes, which were staring at me, gradually began to shake. Then, Soo-yeon Choi, who understood everything, suddenly raised her head and took it off my shoulder.
"Senior, your prank is a bit much. I didn't know you had this type of personality…"
"Is it a joke?"
"Huh…"
"Then you thought I was just saying empty words to comfort you? Unfortunately, I am far from that kind of flattery."
"Yeah, but you're dating Senior Yu-ri…"
"Oh, we're not dating yet."
"Still…?"
Soo-yeon Choi tilted her head. Anyone who saw us would have thought we were dating.
"He said he liked me, but I thought he needed time to gather his thoughts, so I told him he could respond later."
At that moment, Soo-yeon Choi's eyes changed slightly, and she glanced at me.
"… Then you confessed to Yu-ri earlier, and now you're bringing another woman to her house?"
"That's right. I'm a very greedy and selfish person when it comes to women, so when I see a good woman, I want it all. Yu-ri Lee and you too."
"Wow… I've never heard such a shameless thing in my life. It wasn't just that it was strange; there was no answer at all."
"I haven't learned anything yet. Please understand."
Soo-yeon Choi, who was looking me up and down as if looking at garbage, leaned back against the wall and placed her head on my shoulder.
"But… I feel like this shameless possessiveness is better than made-up kindness, so I don't think I really have an answer."
Soo-yeon Choi slipped her arm between my arms and crossed them, hugging me tightly.
"Senior. Shall we… do this?"
It was obvious what she wanted to do. To be honest, as soon as I heard those words, my lower abdomen began to swell like a volcano exploding, but I answered while fighting against my desires.
"I said not now."
"Why? You said you liked me."
"It's not that you really like me as a man. You're just doing this to break your heart and destroy yourself. You're trying to brainwash yourself by thinking, 'I'm such a dirty person, so it's natural for me to be treated like this.'"
"…"
"Honestly, it doesn't matter if it's me or anyone else right now, right? You just need a reason to destroy yourself. I don't feel good about a guy like that, and more than anything, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."
"… How do you know that?"
"Do you think you'll feel any better after doing this with me? It'll make you want to die, right? I don't have the hobby of watching the girl I like get ruined right in front of my eyes. And… I have to leave later than anything else, so I don't have time. No."
"…? You're going out again?"
"Yeah. I told you the other day. We're gangsters… No, I just decided to get together with kids who are similar to me."
"Ah."
It was only then that Soo-yeon Choi remembered the "meeting" I had mentioned once before. In the first place, Soo-yeon Choi must have heard this story many times from the girls in her second-grade class.
"I have to get ready soon, so you should get ready to go home too. Please return your clothes later. And since you are a good enough girl and a child who deserves to be loved, don't have strange thoughts and go out in the middle of the night. Well, even if I say this, it won't be much of a consolation."
Soo-yeon Choi was silent for a moment, then she grabbed my collar.
"I don't want to go home."
"Hey, that doesn't mean I'm going to join you in destroying yourself-"
"Not that. You said that back then, right, senior? You told me to either rehearse a date with you or pretend to be your girlfriend and participate in the meeting instead, so you could have an excuse to leave the meeting. I still remember it."
Soo-yeon Choi took a deep breath, perhaps trying to calm her stomach. Then, facing me, she stretched out her arms, wrapped them around the back of my neck, and whispered into my ear.
"You said I was a woman worthy of love, right? Then prove it to me."
"You…"
"I will go to that meeting with my senior. As a 'girlfriend.'"
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