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Chapter 21
Not far outside the neighborhood there was a river, seven or eight meters wide, with walkways built on both sides. Every evening plenty of people came there to cool off and jog.
I saw Zheng Ruojin sitting by the riverbank, staring blankly at the water.
I asked, "Have you figured out what you want to say?"
Su Wan bit her lip and stayed silent.
"Then think about it some more here there's no rush."
I wiped away the tear streaks from her cheeks and looked at her reddened eyes. "It's alright people meet and part according to fate. No one has the right to condemn someone who wants to move forward."
I kissed her forehead and said, "It's alright. After all, the man you fell for is a piece of crap."
I was talking about Zhou Ting though, in truth, I was also talking about myself.
Then I left her there and walked down along the embankment to find Zheng Ruojin.
She looked like she wanted to say something, but didn't.
Zheng seemed to notice me, leaning her head over to rest on my shoulder.
"Looks like we both had a rough day today."
I had noticed the suitcases piled in the living room if they'd been Keke's, they'd already have been unpacked and put away.
Zheng said, "At least you still have Keke and you might not even end things with Su Wan."
I didn't mention my situation. Instead I asked, "What about you? You can stay at my place for a while if the school doesn't have an issue, I don't mind."
"Trying to get rid of me?"
"If that's how you see it, then yes."
She looped her arm through mine. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Find a job? What did you study in college?"
"Chinese Language & Literature."
"That's the same as me, isn't it?"
"Not the same at all. My school wouldn't even qualify to carry yours' shoes. And I don't have a teaching license."
"You could take the certification. Even if we aren't colleagues, we could still be in the same field."
She shook her head. "I don't want to teach."
"Alright then."
"I guess I'm just used to being taken care of. Does that make me pathetic?"
"People who are truly pathetic aren't this decisive."
"So I've still got hope?"
"Of course."
"Thanks."
"Idiot."
"You're the idiot."
I pulled up a blade of grass to chew and said, "I didn't think you'd really break up with Liu Cheng. When you left with him this morning, I was wishing you well in my head."
"You think I'd be better off with him?"
"I don't know him. There's a writer who said: 'I pretend to be mature, and everyone says I'm mature. I pretend to be lazy, and everyone says I'm lazy. I pretend to be a liar, and people say I'm a liar. I show off, and they say I have money. I appear indifferent, and everyone says I'm cold. When I ache in agony, crying out, they say I'm faking it.' Emmm so there's no true empathy in this world. Your warmth and your cold are yours alone to feel. I don't know Liu Cheng truth is, I don't really know you either. Any opinion I have is just empty talk spun from my own guesswork."
She asked, "Which writer? I've never read that."
I shook my head. "Maybe I dreamt it."
"Some dream you had then."
"Haha."
After a long silence she said, "He didn't really want to marry me. Even if he had, his family wouldn't have allowed it. His dad wanted me to be his secretary. You know the kind of 'secretary' rich men have."
"Mm."
"I've been with both father and son a few times. I wasn't happy because his dad knew I'd been a prostitute, he's always looked at me like one. He'd never let me through the family door."
"Cause and effect."
"You here to comfort me?"
"No, just to listen."
She looked at me for a long time before saying, "Mm. That's good."
Leaning on my shoulder, she went on: "I've thought a lot these past days. I can't let this drag on. The way he acted after the accident told me this can't go on, so I broke up with him. His mother my possible future mother-in-law was actually delighted when she heard."
Her voice broke with tears. I took my hand from her embrace to gently put an arm around her shoulders. "That just means before, you were strong now you're brave."
"Really?"
"Of course. Look at me just now I wanted to give up on Keke, and she ended up scolding me. You're better than me."
"Keke's a good girl."
"Mm, and so are you."
"Am I?"
"Are you not?"
She looked back up at me but said nothing, snuggling into my chest.
After a while she sat up. "I want to ask you a favor."
"Go on if I can help, I will."
"I want to go be an editor at Morning Dew Daily. Could you speak to Madam Yan for me help me get an interview?"
I hesitated. "The Haizhou Group's connected there?"
She shook her head. "Not Haizhou Group Madam Yan's father founded the paper. Even without that connection, if she asks, no one in this world could turn her down."
I smiled. "See? You are brave."
She paused, then wrapped her arms around my neck and broke down crying.
I hurriedly patted her back. "Alright, alright cry louder and they'll call the cops!"
She kept crying into my neck.
When she'd calmed a bit, I said, "I'll do what I can, but… I'm not actually close to Yan Yi, so I don't know if I can help."
She shook her head.
"I need to be clear if I can't help, you can be mad at me, but you can't go after Keke."
She let go and, in mock anger, stomped her foot on mine. "I'll just blame you, just you."
I wiped away her tears with a smile. "Alright, let's go back."
"Mm. Yu Qi."
"Mm?"
"Thanks."
I waved. "Pssh~"
She linked arms with me up the path. Before going inside, she whispered, "Don't mention it to Madam Yan yet I haven't passed the editor's certification exam."
I stared wordlessly.
She giggled. "I don't know what happened between you two, but… be nice to her, don't stay mad."
I ruffled her hair. "Got it."
She glanced at Su Wan, then bounced her way home.
Su Wan, watching Zheng leave, finally said, "You've changed so much."
I started walking. "For better or worse?"
She shook her head. "You're gentler, smarter, more decisive… even colder. Not like you were before."
"If I'm no longer who I was, would that make you happier?"
We walked for a long while before she finally said, "I'm sorry."
I nodded. "Mm. It's alright."
"Master, please don't be like this… I'm scared…"
I shook my head. "Don't call me Master for now."
She suddenly knelt right there, drawing looks from the passersby.
I stopped and said, "Seems you've changed too."
She looked up. "I I haven't~"
I shook my head and turned to leave. She stayed kneeling.
Soon, I came back, crouched, and pressed a bank card into her hand. "I owe you an apology I didn't hold out in the end, didn't get Liu Cheng to come and apologize. That's my fault, for not protecting you. If you're angry, blame me."
She shook her head and refused the card.
"If you don't want to explain, I won't press anymore. Just tell me one thing: until today, with him, was it all unwilling on your part? Just nod or shake your head."
Her eyes welled as she looked at me.
I added, "I'm still your master right now, so here's my last order: answer truthfully. Whatever you say, I'll believe."
She looked at me for a long time long enough for a crowd to gather, hoping for drama.
At last she trembled and gave a tiny shake of her head.
I fell silent too.
After a while, I touched her still-beautiful face. "Alright, get up let's go home."
She didn't move.
I turned my back to her. "Come on get on, I'll carry you."
Moments later, I was walking with her on my back. The bystanders, seeing no fight, grumbled and dispersed.
On the way home, we didn't speak. But I didn't carry her upstairs.
"We're here get down."
She didn't let go.
"You know I'm upset and angry right now. If you want to help me cool off, be obedient."
Only then did she climb off.
I brushed the dirt from her legs. "Go home. I'll sort this out as soon as I can. Until then, don't contact me or come here. We both need to cool off, right?"
She bit her lip.
"You can think about how to talk to me I'll believe you. Alright, go. If you don't want to drive, I can call a cab."
She shook her head.
"Alright then bye."
Without waiting for her to answer, I strode off, then broke into a run.
I didn't go straight home. Instead, I hid in the stairwell and couldn't hold back my tears.
I don't know how long I sat there before someone hugged me. I looked up it was Keke.
She didn't say a word, just sat beside me, holding me gently.
At the corner of the stairs, Zheng Ruojin and Shen Li stood holding each other's hands in worry.
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