At my desperate cry, Kaela halted her movements, hands still clutching the hem of her clothes…
…And asked in the most innocent voice conceivable, as if she hadn't just started stripping out of nowhere.
"Huh? How would you touch my skin otherwise?"
I covered my face with a palm and spoke in a raised voice to conceal my flustered state.
"You could've just pulled up a sleeve, dumbass!"
Her retaliation came without delay.
"But I wanted you to etch some badass pattern onto my back, like the one you have. And anyways - what right do you have to complain when you're barely clothed yourself? That's shameless behavior, Ori. Tsk, tsk."
Wow. I've never heard such a bad attempt at a tongue click before. That's almost impressive.
"I think you forgot an important detail. Two details, even."
Kaela tilted her head to the side and brought a finger to her mouth in thought.
"Yeah? What'd ya think I forgot?"
"First of all, I don't have any spare metal to fuse with your skin, even if I wanted to. But whatever; the real issue is that you're a girl! You aren't supposed to show your chest to the first person you meet! Crazy work…"
Her pupils dilated in shock, as if she finally grasped the situation.
"Mmm! I see now."
"You do? Great; then pull your suit back down already-"
She cut me off mid sentence with a devious smile.
Here we go… She's about to say some dumb shit again. I just know it.
Her next words instantly proved my worries true:
"You're just embarrassed, aren't you? Never seen a girl's bare body before? Heh. Heheheheh."
My mouth fell open.
And the worst part?
She's not wrong. Maybe it's because I've not had enough human contact in my life, but I really did feel my face heat up, if only for a moment.
Content with winning the verbal battle, Kaela finally tucked her bodysuit-esque top back into the skirt.
I thought I had a talent for leaving people dumbfounded, but now my eyes had been opened to true mastery. Must be what they call a 'revelation'.
Maybe I should ask for some teachings?
I didn't let that ridiculous idea simmer for long though, opting to switch topics before she could tease me any further:
"Say, Kaela, what was that sickass tattoo on going across your whole body?"
She beamed at my question.
"Ohh!! You like it too? Hold on… Are you just looking for an excuse to see me topless again? Alrighty, I'll fulfill your perverted desire just this once."
Along with those words, she prepared to undress for the third time.
Oh for fucks' sake.
I held my hand out, making a pleading expression.
"No, stop. I don't care anymore, just please stop destroying my immaculate image."
"Immaculate? You look like you've been beaten to half death, dude."
I could only sigh at her words.
"That much, I can't argue with. Tried killing a group of adventures; in all my arrogance, I didn't bother gaging their strength levels. They were way above my league, as I found out the hard way."
"Hah."
She laughed at my explanation, prompting me to get on the defensive.
"Come on, why laugh at that? I can tell you're a battle vet yourself - no way in hell you've never misjudged an opponent before."
I grumbled, but she just shook her head.
"That's not it. Actually, I ended up getting detained for the same reason. Got completely wrecked after biting off more than I could chew."
I nodded in understanding, feeling my impression of Kaela take a positive turn. There was a sense of kinship in knowing she was in the same boat.
For the first time since our exchange started, I spoke in my usual, friendly tone.
"Doesn't that make us, like, companions forged in suffering? In battle? Eh, you get the point."
"I suppose it does..?"
Kaela's response was hesitant, clearly cautious to play along.
I didn't let that bother me, instead letting out an ominous laugh as I prepared my to deliver ultimate move.
"Huhuhu. I bet you're not ready for what I'm about to say… This is my formal proposal to you, Kaela! Wanna make this official?"
My words were accompanied by exaggerated theatrics, arms open wide and one eye closed in a wink.
A flawless execution.
But… What's with that reaction? Did I stunlock her? Ah, she must be too impressed to speak!
I rubbed my nose in pride - Kaela, meanwhile, seemed utterly lost.
Eventually, she broke the silence with a back to back combo of sound confusion sound effects.
"Uhh, huh? What? Did I miss a page?"
"What's there to miss? I'll be more direct, then. Let's become friends!"
I could almost hear the gears turn before she finally let out a long sigh.
Way too long. She's gotta be out of breath by now, right?
*Cough!*
Okay, so she did run out of breath. Now what?
After the small coughing fit, and catching her breath thereafter she spoke in an exasperated tone.
"You absolute buffoon… What you just proposed was marriage!"
This time, it was my turn to get confused.
"Friends, marriage - same thing. What's the difference, anyways?"
"The difference? THE DIFFERENCE?! There's a massive difference - marriage is reserved for when you want to live with someone for the rest of your life!"
I mulled over her words for a moment, and confidently replied.
"That's exactly what I'm saying. Think about it: I'm probably gonna get tortured to death within a few days, and we're already living together. So how is that not the same thing?"
"It's not! Because, uhh… Umm. Wait, you might actually be right…"
"See? Just had to use your noggin for once. So, do you accept my friendship proposal?"
Her expression went through a few more phases, eventually settling on a defeated one.
"Well, I can't come up with any good reason to refuse…"
"In that case, my dearest of friends Kaela - let's get along."
With those words, I reached out for a handshake, careful not to cut her palm with my sharp claws.
She returned the gesture without hesitation; if anything, she gripped my hand with way too much enthusiasm.
Right. Almost forgot how much of a freak she is - definitely just wanted to feel the clawed hand again.
Oh well, friends touch each other all the time, I think..? Yeah. Probably.
Like that, in the most unusual set of circumstances one could conceive, I made my first ever friend.
***
Within an exorbitantly luxurious palace sat a young man clad in a long, black cloak. It was embroidered with fiery-red lining, matching the tips of his hair which emitted a faint glow of the same shade.
The man was Malrik Nether - Nether's eldest prince, and the most likely candidate for the throne.
Just yesterday, his palace was invaded by a psychotic girl, who claimed to have done so out of pure boredom.
Malrik thought it a ridiculous lie; that was, until his loyal informant brought him a stack of papers detailing her background.
After reading through it, the woman's claim was all but confirmed:
So she really is just a crazy bastard. Wow.
Ever since his coming of age, it became clear that Malrik was bound to take his father's place sooner rather than later - in response, his younger brother sent wave after wave of assassins to take bring him low before he grew any more powerful.
So far, none of the assassination attempts came even close to succeeding.
With that in mind, it was only fair to assume that the woman, named Kaela according to the report, was another one of his brother's forces.
And yet, his informant's intel proved him wrong.
A lot of strange events in recent times. How tiring.
Only four days ago, a survivor of the Threadripper race had been captured alive, and then there was the crazy girl's unprompted attack.
The headaches just kept piling on his already weighted mind.
Malrik was completely absorbed in training, barely scraping by enough time for sleep, but it seemed that fate had a different plan in store for him.
'Sleep is a luxury for the weak', huh? I'm starting to understand your words, dad.
He groggily stood up with a rub of his eyes which threatened to shut close, channeling fiery essence through his body to temporarily ward off the exhaustion.
Let's just get this over with. Skipping a few days of sleep beats getting another 'sparring session' with dad any day, that's for sure.
A shiver ran down Malrik's spine as he recalled the thinly veiled beating his father gave him under the pretense of educational sparring.
With no time to waste, he gestured the guards stationed around the room to stay behind, and set out toward the Royal Detention center.
His footsteps turned noiseless, and his fierce aura all but vanished - a display of absolute authority over his essence, despite its absurd quantity.
The guards could only gawk in admiration. Such fine control was unthinkable for someone so young.
Once Malrik's back grew distant, the informant that'd been patiently kneeling on the ground spoke out to his companions.
"Our Young Lord's got a bright future ahead of him. To be honest, I find his calm expression as he tortures his victims kind of terrifying."
The other guards simply nodded in agreement, unable to argue with the impudent statement.
After all, they felt the same way.
Be it human or Threadripper, the distinction lost meaning in the face of their Young Lord.
His ruthless flames never failed to break the mind of any; it was to the point that the guards almost felt pity for the criminal's unfortunate fate.
The informant - having witnessed Malrik's dehumanizing torture first hand - even went as far as to offer a silent player:
May god have mercy on your wretched soul, Threadripper.