Shinzan was special. She had been special even before becoming the Shinzan the world knew.
As one of the first test subjects of the reformed Triple Crown system, the filly destined to become Japan's first homegrown Triple Crown winner was the focus of countless eyes.
And that was without mentioning her terrifying, almost peerless talent—even among all the prodigies in Europe, the historic heartland of racing, none could be found who could match her.
After years of training, she discovered her gift, unsurprisingly.
And it wasn't merely about becoming the first Triple Crown winner.
She became the unprecedented defending Triple Crown champion, standing atop the world.
She had even, unintentionally, pushed the European training system to new heights in the eyes of the world.
Her talent, her power, her status—all made her arguably the most special Uma Musume in the world.
Shinzan knew this. She had known it since she was very young, when she was taken away by a European trainer, gazing back at the bewildered eyes of her childhood filly playmates.
She was different.Even Europe's geniuses seemed mediocre before her. And this uniqueness made Shinzan feel, almost instinctively, that perhaps she could do something with it.
If she was the most special Uma Musume in the world, why couldn't she use that specialness to change it?
She thought it, and so she acted.
A second Triple Crown defense.
A third.
Having reached the world's pinnacle, Shinzan undoubtedly became the most influential Uma Musume on the planet.
But at that very moment, her footsteps suddenly halted.
It wasn't just because she realized her victories only accelerated the global spread of the European training system.
It was because she became aware of the alienation her specialness created.
She was supposed to be a Japanese Uma Musume. Her homeland was here. Yet in many eyes, the European imprint on Shinzan had completely overshadowed her native roots.
When she seized the Triple Crown multiple times, people would still cheer and roar for her stunning performances. But deep down, a thorn remained, one that could never be pulled out.
No trace of Japan was visible on her anymore.
Even her eyelids were styled after European ideals. In her life, she had spent far more time in Europe than in Japan.
Even if she wanted to blend in, her European-honed habits would draw puzzled looks from others.
Time and again, Shinzan would unconsciously make a certain gesture, only to see a complex look in the eyes of those she thought were like-minded, potential comrades.
To many, Shinzan was no longer Japan's 'Niiyama'. At least, not purely.
The reason they chose to follow and serve her was simply her overwhelming strength.
As for something as precious as ideals, they preferred to discuss those with their own kind.
And Shinzan was clearly not on that list.
Realizing this, Shinzan was immediately struck by a loneliness she had never known before.
She desperately scoured her memories, trying to find the filly from her childhood, the one who was still called 'Niiyama'.
Even if it was just a shadow, Shinzan wanted to seize her.
But she failed.
Looking back, Shinzan found that the scenery along the Seine in Paris was more vivid in her mind than the fuzzy, yellowed memory of a babbling brook back home.
She could barely remember what she liked to eat as a child, but she knew exactly which coffee paired with a croissant.
She remembered the reflection under the Eiffel Tower, the paintings gazing back at her in the Louvre, the bustling crowds at the Paris Tracen Academy.
But for her hometown, all that remained was a pale, powerless word: 'hometown' itself.
The moment she realized this, Shinzan was lost.
She could no longer find that filly from the training camp who had to reminisce about her homeland's scenery to fall asleep. The Uma Musume named 'Niiyama' had long been swallowed by Europe.
And the one who orchestrated it all was Shinzan herself.
She had personally killed her past self.
But could she, after realizing this, turn around and throw herself completely into Europe's embrace?
That was impossible too.
She could never truly integrate there. Even though her memories of it were sharp, walking among crowds of blondes and blue-eyed people, Shinzan still felt the discomfort of alienation.
This loneliness was even more profound than what she felt in Japan. At least in Japan, everyone's distance was kept deep within. But in Europe...
Let's just say the joy Shinzan felt the first time she defeated those European prodigies wasn't just about overcoming a strong rival.
Japan could not contain the entirety of Shinzan.
Europe could never accept her distinct identity.
Caught between the two, realizing that the harder she tried, the more she won, the more she was adding bricks to the European training system she had come to resent—Shinzan chose to leave the racetrack.
She still clung to her former goal.
She wanted to enhance her specialness through means outside racing.
She wanted to use that uniqueness to at least secure for her homeland an exception, a space separate from Europe.
After all, if she stopped, Shinzan didn't know what she was supposed to do.
And so, as she mechanically pursued the goals of her past self, she met Dream Weaver.
She was different from her.
Shinzan realized it immediately.
On the night she watched the recording of Dream Weaver's Satsuki Sho, Shinzan rewound to the end countless times, watching the audience's reaction over and over.
As the world's strongest racer, analyzing the power Dream Weaver displayed in the Satsuki Sho didn't take her a whole night. That night, Shinzan spent most of her time lost in those repeated cheers.
Perhaps in that moment, Shinzan had already made a certain resolution.
And that resolution took root and sprouted after the Japanese Derby, finally breaking through the soil of Shinzan's heart.
She would lose.
Lose to the star admired by all, Dream Weaver.
This was something decided long ago.
She was tired. Caught between two environments that couldn't hold her, not knowing who to strive for, mechanically executing old goals had exhausted her.
Now, a perfect successor stood before her.
She had no reason not to lay down the burden.
However, in Shinzan's original plan, she hadn't intended for things to end up like this with Dream Weaver—both of them pushing each other, pulling ahead, leaving everyone else behind.
Maybe it was because Dream Weaver unveiled an unexpected [Zone].
Maybe it was the shock of seeing Dream Weaver erupt with a speed that even she had to treat with grave seriousness.
But Shinzan's long-forgotten competitive spirit, diluted by countless victories, actually showed signs of stirring again.
But… let it be.
Shinzan pressed her lips together, suppressing the surging turmoil in her chest.
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T/N: I have a Patreon! Webnovel will get 2 Chapters Every Day, and advanced chapters will be uploaded on Patreon.
It may not seem worth it now, but maybe in the future. Who knows!
[email protected]/AspenTL
If you guys wanna check it out.