Senju Hashirama stood in the middle of the street, sunlight dancing over his wooden armor as he stared blankly at the trembling villager crouching before him. The man looked as if a kunai were pressed to his throat. His knees shook so hard that the ground was vibrating.
Hashirama blinked in confusion.
Why was this villager… afraid of him?
Why did he keep peeking around, as if expecting an ambush?
And—why in the world did he whisper, "Hokage-sama… please don't hit me…"
Hit him?
Hashirama almost choked. He—the gentle Hokage, the one who hugged children and gave away free candy—hit a villager?
Impossible. Absolutely impossible.
"Please calm down," Hashirama said softly, helping the man stand up. "Tell me what happened. Why were you… uh… expecting to be beaten?"
The villager swallowed his fear, took three shaky breaths, and finally managed to speak.
"This afternoon… Hokage-sama… hundreds of villagers… were beaten with wooden sticks by a group of masked ninja who claimed to be ANBU."
Hashirama froze.
"Beaten…? With what?"
"Wooden sticks," the villager whispered, voice cracking. "Six sticks per second. Accurate, rhythmic, efficient… horrifying…"
Hashirama's mouth opened slowly.
Then—
"EEEEEEEH?!"
His voice echoed through the street, making the birds on the nearby roof flap away in panic.
The ANBU? Beating villagers?
"No, no, that's impossible!" Hashirama shook his head furiously. "ANBU are for gathering intelligence, performing covert missions, dealing with outside threats. They would never—EVER—harm Konoha villagers! Who ordered this?!"
The villager lowered his head and trembled violently.
Hashirama suddenly felt a cold realization climb up his spine.
No… It can't be…
But—and he knew this from experience—whenever something went terribly wrong…
It was almost always connected to his adorable but terrifying younger brother.
Tobirama…!
You strict, stubborn, overly serious control freak! What did you do this time?!
Hashirama exhaled deeply, rubbing his temple.
"Hokage-sama… may I leave now?" the villager asked weakly.
"Yes, yes, you may go," Hashirama replied absentmindedly.
The villager didn't walk home—he sprinted like his life depended on it.
Hashirama watched him go. The man didn't even look back.
Something stung in Hashirama's chest.
He turned and looked around the street. A few villagers were peering from behind stalls, hastily ducking back whenever he glanced their way. No one approached him. No one waved at him. No one even dared breathe too loudly.
The warmth in their eyes was gone.
All that remained was reverence… and fear.
Hashirama felt his heart break a little.
"Why… why are they scared of me…?" he whispered, placing a hand over his chest.
He had never felt so distant from his precious villagers.
Then—
"That's it! I'm going to talk to Tobirama!"
With a burst of anger he hadn't felt in years, Hashirama marched toward the Hokage Building.
---
Meanwhile, inside the Hokage Building…
Tobirama stood behind his desk, posture perfect, expression cold. In front of him stood an ANBU officer holding a large stack of letters—bloodstained, tear-stained, ink-stained, some barely legible.
"Tobirama-sama," the ANBU said respectfully, "these are letters of repentance from the villagers. They have all acknowledged their wrongdoings, deeply reflected, and sincerely beg forgiveness from you and the Hokage."
"Good."
Tobirama nodded with satisfaction.
He picked several letters at random and began to read.
"It was all my fault."
"I should not have questioned the village."
"I should not have yelled at Hokage-sama's statue."
"I will never again gather, cause trouble, slander Tobirama-sama's abilities, or breathe without permission."
"Please allow me to return to my family. My mother needs someone to cook dinner."
The writing was shaky—some lines were written with… was that chicken blood?
Tobirama sighed contentedly.
"Yes. This is good. Very good."
The ANBU glanced at him nervously. Only Tobirama could look at 300 villagers' desperate letters of guilt and smile like a proud teacher.
"These villagers have been too careless," Tobirama muttered. "They have enjoyed peace for too long. Their awareness of rules has deteriorated. Their ideological foundation is weak."
He shook his head.
"Konoha is too lenient. That's why incidents like the Unlimited Fighting Tournament even happened."
The ANBU officer didn't dare respond.
Tobirama continued turning pages.
"Excellent formulation of regret…"
"Very thorough reflection…"
"This one even drew a diagram of his wrongdoings. Good visual learning."
The ANBU swallowed.
These letters were not the result of "ideological education."
They were the result of six sticks per second.
The moment the ANBU swung the first stick, the villagers experienced a spiritual awakening. They wrote faster than lightning, competing over who could confess more sincerely.
"Tobirama-sama," the ANBU asked cautiously, "should we… release them now?"
"Release them?" Tobirama raised an eyebrow. "After only one letter of repentance?"
"No, no. They must receive complete ideological retraining. Lock them up for a week."
The ANBU nodded.
A week in the dungeon. The villagers would never forget it.
"And," Tobirama added, "the Ninja army must deploy immediately. The villagers have disrupted our plans. We can't delay any longer."
The ANBU bowed and left.
Tobirama exhaled slowly.
He had worked out all the countermeasures. When his brother arrived to question him—as Hashirama inevitably would—he had arguments, logic, and deflections ready.
Still…
He shivered slightly.
Hashirama, when angry, was scarier than any tailed beast.
Even though Tobirama usually scolded his brother until he squatted in a corner drawing circles, when it came to issues of villagers, governance, or justice…
Hashirama became frighteningly stubborn.
"Has sister-in-law arrived?" Tobirama asked.
"Mito-sama has arrived," an ANBU reported.
"Good."
With Mito around, Hashirama might only shout instead of flipping the building.
Tobirama took a deep breath.
"Everything is under control."
Just then—
A thunderous voice echoed through the entire Hokage Building.
---
"TOBIRAMA!!! WHAT—EXACTLY—DID YOU DO THIS AFTERNOON?!"
The entire office shook.
Ink bottles fell. Papers fluttered. ANBU scattered like cockroaches under sunlight.
Tobirama's eyelid twitched.
Here it comes.
He slowly turned toward the door.
There stood Senju Hashirama—eyes blazing, aura exploding, wooden planks behind him beginning to sprout leaves from sheer emotional energy. His hair was practically floating from the chakra pressure.
"Tobirama…" Hashirama growled. "Did you beat the villagers?"
"Technically," Tobirama said calmly, "ANBU executed corrective action, which—"
"WHY?!"
Tobirama didn't flinch.
"They questioned the Hokage's authority. They caused chaos. They disrupted village peace. They insulted me. And—"
"And so you hit them?!"
Hashirama's voice was cracking with disbelief.
"Tobirama, villagers are the foundation of the village!"
"Yes," Tobirama answered calmly. "Which is why their ideological discipline must be maintained."
"That is NOT what that means!!!"
Hashirama threw his hands into the air.
Tobirama inhaled deeply.
"It's simple brotherly logic," he explained.
"You are soft. I am hard. Together, we make perfect governance."
"NO WE DON'T!"
"Yes we do."
"TOBIRAMA!!!"
In the hallway, ANBU eavesdropping from the ceiling shivered.
Mito, standing beside the doorway, sighed like she was watching two children fight over candy.
"You two," she murmured, massaging her temples, "I leave you alone for one afternoon and you nearly recreate the Warring States Period."
---
Hashirama's Anger Reaches Maximum
Hashirama dramatically pointed at Tobirama.
"You will release those villagers immediately!"
"Impossible," Tobirama replied instantly. "They have not completed ideological retraining."
"Tobirama!"
"Big brother."
"You—!!!"
Mito stepped in before Hashirama activated Sage Mode out of rage.
"Hashirama, calm down," she said, patting his shoulder.
"No! Mito, he beat villagers! With sticks! Six sticks per second!"
Mito paused.
"...Six?"
"Yes!"
"That seems… excessive," Mito admitted.
Tobirama crossed his arms.
"Efficiency matters."
"NO, IT DOES NOT!!!"
Mito sighed again.
This was going to take the entire night.
Advance Chapters avilable on patreon (Obito_uchiha)