The memory of Benji's arm tightening around her waist still lingered like smoke she couldn't wash off. Kara shook it off whenever it came, but the unease trailed behind her like a shadow. She didn't tell Alva or Alec it would only make them worry, and she refused to let that one moment define her new beginning.
Instead, she focused on her routine. Mornings filled with lectures, afternoons buried in assignments. Calls with her brothers between breaks, always full of jokes.
"So," Alec teased over video call one evening, leaning too close to his screen, "already crushing on some beach boy and girl?"
Kara rolled her eyes. "No. I'm busy being academic. Shocking, I know."
Alva smirked beside him. "Yeah, right. You're probably already the queen of Canggu nightlife."
"Shut up," Kara laughed, sipping from her water bottle. "I've just been… exploring. Coffee shops, mostly. There's this one place near the guest house. Cozy vibe, wooden interior, mezzanine level with the bar upstairs. Feels like my spot, you know?"
Her brothers grinned knowingly but didn't push further, and Kara was grateful.
The next afternoon, she slipped into the café again. The air smelled of roasted beans and warm wood, the sunlight spilling through wide windows onto long tables. She walked upstairs, ready to order her usual.
"Flat white, oat milk, extra foam?" a voice asked before she even opened her mouth.
Kara blinked. The barista, a tall guy with warm brown eyes and a casual smile was already punching it in.
"You remember my order?" she asked, surprised.
"Of course." He extended a hand across the counter. "Ivan. You've been here three times this week. Hard not to notice."
Kara felt her cheeks warm as she shook his hand. "Kara. And… okay, maybe I'm addicted."
He chuckled, sliding her cup across. "No shame in that. Coffee keeps the world moving."
Later, after the rush slowed, Ivan wandered over to her table, wiping his hands on a towel. "Mind if I sit?"
Kara hesitated, then nodded. "Sure."
They ended up talking for an hour. Turns out, Ivan had taken the same German language course Kara was enrolled in now three years earlier.
"No way," Kara leaned forward, grinning. "You survived Frau Helga's pop quizzes too?"
Ivan groaned dramatically. "Don't remind me. I swear she could smell fear."
They laughed until her stomach hurt. When it was time for her to leave, Ivan slid his phone across the table.
"Numbers?" he asked casually.
Kara typed hers in, handing it back. "Only if you promise not to spam me with German vocabulary at 2 a.m."
"Deal," Ivan said with a grin.
Walking back to her guest house, Kara caught herself smiling. For the first time since arriving, she felt a little lighter. Maybe, just maybe, she had found someone she could call a friend in this new city.
***
The weekend stretched wide, hot, and restless. Kara told herself she'd spend it finishing assignments, maybe cleaning her room, but by Friday evening Ivan was already calling.
"Hey," his voice crackled through the line, casual and upbeat. "My friends are hitting the club tonight. Come with us. You need to see the Bali nightlife properly."
Kara laughed, pressing the phone against her ear while lying on her bed. "You trying to corrupt me already?"
"You're in Jimbaran," he teased. "You're already corrupted. Come on, it'll be fun."
And it was.The club throbbed with neon and bass, sweat and smoke swirling together. Ivan's friends were loud, friendly, quick to pull her into shots and laughter. Kara let herself sink into it, into the blur of music that drowned out everything else. For once, she didn't have to think.
She swayed on the dance floor, Ivan spinning her once before letting her go. "See? You needed this," he shouted over the beat.
Kara grinned, head light. "Yeah. Feels like I can finally breathe."
But later, with a half-finished drink in her hand and her phone buzzing in her pocket, the air shifted. She pulled it out, froze when she saw the name.
Willow.
She stepped outside, the music muffled, ocean air cutting through the sweat on her skin. She answered.
"Hey," Kara whispered.
"Kara…" Willow's voice cracked, softer than she remembered. "I'm exhausted. I'm trying to get everything ready for Monday. My mom's panicking, Michelle's crying every night… I don't know how I'm gonna do this."
Kara closed her eyes, leaning against the cool wall. "Willow, listen. You're stronger than you think. You've always been. And… I'm here. Okay? Even if you're miles away. If you need to scream, cry, whatever, I'll pick up."
There was silence, then Willow's shaky laugh. "God, I wish I could see you. Just once, before..."
"I know," Kara cut in gently. Her throat ached.
Willow's voice was brittle, like glass on the edge of breaking."Kara, I don't want to go and leave everything behind. But I also can't stay. Not after everything I've been planning. If I stay… I'll hate myself."
Kara's throat closed. ""Me too. But we can't. Im not enough.. yet, So you focus on your dream, and I'll focus on mine. And no matter what, we'll still be proud of each other."
"Don't say that," Willow whispered. "You are enough. You've always been. But you are right, this is something I have to do. For me. For my future. And maybe… for us too. Because if I don't, I'll always blame you for holding me back."
Kara's chest tightened. "So I'm the excuse for you to be serious about this? You waited until I was leaving to say you were too?"
Silence stretched. Then Willow's small, broken laugh. "Maybe I needed to believe you'd be okay without me first. Maybe I needed to see you strong before I could take this step."
"That's manipulative, Will," Kara muttered, tears stinging her eyes. "You let me think I was the selfish one. When you already had one foot out the door."
"Kara.."
"No," Kara cut in, voice cracking. "I don't care anymore. Just promise me you'll be safe. Promise me you'll still laugh sometimes. And don't forget me."
Willow's breath caught. "I could never. You're carved into me, whether I like it or not."
Kara bit her lip until it hurt. "Then go live your life. And I'll live mine. But don't call it love anymore. Let's call it… memory."
On the other end, Willow sobbed quietly. "I love you, Kara."
Kara closed her eyes. "I know. Goodbye, Willow."
The call ended.
Kara said goodbye too softly, like dragging a knife out slow. The call ended, leaving Kara staring at her reflection in the black screen. Empty.
She shoved the phone into her bag, lit a cigarette with trembling hands. Smoke filled her lungs, and she tipped her head back, watching the glow fade into the dark sky. Kara stood outside the bar for a long time, cigarette burning low between her fingers, until Ivan called her back inside.
Inside, Ivan leaned out the door. "You okay?"
Kara forced a smile, waved him off. "Yeah. Just… needed air."
She walked back in, slid onto a barstool, and grabbed another glass. Her phone buzzed again, this time Mom and Dad but she didn't pick up. Not tonight. Not when she was too close to breaking.
The music swallowed her whole again, and Kara raised her drink. She knew she'd wake up with a headache the next morning. Maybe worse. But at least, for now, she could forget that Willow was leaving, and that goodbye had already been said.
***
A lump formed in her chest. Even after last night's goodbye, some part of her had expected… something. One last word. A small anchor. Instead, nothing. Just silence.
Her parents' missed calls flashed on the screen, Alva's name stacked under them. She didn't have the courage to listen to their voicemails yet.
Dragging herself up, Kara stumbled into the bathroom. Her reflection was rough, mascara smeared, lips cracked, eyes swollen from crying. She splashed water on her face, gripping the sink until the world stopped spinning.
"New chapter," she whispered to herself, voice hoarse. "This is supposed to be a new chapter. So stop looking back."
Her hands still trembled when she picked up her phone again. She typed out a message to her mom:I'm okay. Just tired. Call you later.
By afternoon the hangover loosened its grip, but the ache in Kara's chest stayed. She sat cross-legged on her bed, phone in hand, scrolling past unread messages. She could call her mom back. She could do something responsible.
Instead, her thumb hovered over the app store.
Her heart thudded. It felt reckless, maybe pathetic. But also… freeing.
If Willow can move on, why can't I?
Kara downloaded a dating app she'd heard about from one of her classmates in High School. The bright yellow colors on the screen felt both ridiculous and strangely hopeful.
She hesitated at the username box, then typed it out: Summer.
It made her smile despite herself cause still felt strange, using an alias, but somehow it gave her courage. Summer wasn't weighed down by broken promises or messy goodbyes. Summer was free, lighthearted, open to meeting someone new, and because 500 Days of Summer had always been her comfort film, the one she rewatched when she needed to remind herself that heartbreak wasn't the end just a chapter.
Bio: Coffee addict. Learning German. Probably at a bar or a bookstore. Looking for something honest, even if it's messy.
She added a picture, the one Alva had taken at the arcade photobooth last week, her laughing so hard her eyes nearly disappeared. It felt real.
When the profile was done, Kara tossed her phone onto the bed and lay back, staring at the ceiling. The fan hummed above her, steady and indifferent.
"Okay, Summer," she whispered to herself. "Let's see if you can outlive Willow."
She didn't know yet that this wasn't just a distraction. That this app, this decision, would mark the start of the longest summer she'd ever live through the season that refused to end.