Ethilia's POV:
We were inside the car, and I was in the backseat with Liana while Laura was driving and Alena was asleep in the passenger seat. I knew I should be happy, excited even, that I was heading toward a new life… but all I felt was a tight knot sitting in my chest.
I love Liana, and there's no doubt about that. But my past… that was a mess. I was scared that if Liana ever told her fans about me or showed my face, things would get out of control. It terrifies me.
Some fans can be crazy. They dig into anything, and I knew they would dig into my life. I wasn't ready to face hate again when I was already carrying the weight of being unwanted by my own parents. It felt like I was walking toward a destination I couldn't fully see.
All I knew was that I had Liana by my side, and that was enough for now.
I let out a quiet sigh, and Liana immediately wrapped her arms around me, pulling me closer. Did she notice that I was zoning out? Maybe she did... She is too caring sometimes. Do I even deserve her?
"What are you thinking?" she murmured. "You've been quiet since we got in."
I bit my lip and looked at her. I didn't know how to say any of it... especially when we weren't alone.
Maybe she sensed that, because she squeezed me gently, thumb brushing my arm. "Hey… don't overthink, okay?"
I nodded and leaned into her shoulder, feeling her warmth. I love her, and I knew I wasn't always good at sharing feelings or… truths. And I still hadn't told her about the darkness... about everything.
I kept waiting for the perfect moment, not wanting to ruin the soft pieces of peace we had. But since last night, couldn't shake off the guilt of hiding so many things from her.
I had lost her once because I hid my feelings and held on to my stupid ego. I couldn't lose her again... She was slowly becoming the only thing I could hold on to, besides Alena.
Now, even the thought of losing her made my heart ache and my eyes teary. I took a deep breath and nuzzled into her neck, trying to steady myself.
Liana pressed a soft kiss to the top of my head, and suddenly Laura cleared her throat loudly. This white head always ruins my moment. But I can't hate her.. She was the reason I even had the guts to make a move.
"Gays…" She paused and smirked before correcting herself. "I mean guys…"
Liana and I burst out laughing at her intentional slip. Liana reached forward and smacked her shoulder lightly. "Lesbians, you fool."
Laura chuckled and parked the car in the parking lot of a restaurant, "Okay, okay. I didn't want to ruin your little romance moment, but we're here. Now move. I'm starving."
She unbuckled and hopped out. I exchanged a look with Liana, who rolled her eyes fondly. Alena was still asleep in the front seat, her head tilted back. I really didn't want to wake her, but… we had no choice.
We got out of the car, and I carefully picked Alena up, her arms instinctively wrapping around my shoulder. We walked inside with Laura and Liana beside me.
"Laura…" I called, and she turned with raised brows. "Are you really hungry? Or are you trying to make some calls?" I wiggled my brows at her.
She grinned and winked, pulling out a chair before gently taking Alena from me and settling her down. I couldn't help but smile at how naturally she handled her.
Liana pulled a chair out for me with a dramatic bow. "Here you go, miss."
This woman and her little movements always make me fall for her a bit more. Did I ever mention how much I love her dramatic gestures?
Maybe not, and maybe I don't need to, because I truly love everything about her. And she never misses a chance to make my heart race or make me feel special.
I chuckled and sat down before nodding. "Thank you, servant." I winked at her, making Laura choke on the water she was drinking.
Liana put her hand on her hip, pretending to be offended for a few seconds. She looked so cute pouting like that that I couldn't stop my laughter.
"Awww…" Laura teased while sipping her water again. "The baby is sulking, Ethilia. Put her on your lap."
I chuckled and reached forward to poke Liana's nose. "Come on, sit." I pulled the chair beside me a little, and she grinned widely before taking the seat.
It was so easy to make her happy, and I loved that about her. She was too much for my weak heart, my God...
I held her hand and smiled at her. My heart was beating so fast it almost hurt… but I couldn't stop staring at that grin. Maybe I love this ache more than any other feeling in the world...
Laura cleared her throat and leaned closer. "I thought you guys might have something you want to discuss?"
My eyes widened at her suggestion. How does she read both of us so easily?
Liana frowned a little, then glanced at me with a smirk. "Yeah, actually… I wouldn't mind some alone time with my girlfriend."
I rolled my eyes at her teasing but smiled anyway. She stood up and offered her hand, and I took it immediately before looping my arm around hers as we walked toward a quieter corner.
She leaned against the wall, holding my hands tightly. "I've noticed you want to tell me something. Then what's stopping you, huh?"
She reached up and ran her fingers through my hair, making my body naturally lean into her touch. I looked into her eyes and whispered, "Is this the right place to talk?"
I still didn't know how to start, but the way she looked at me… it made it clear that I had to tell her.
"Ethilia…" Her voice softened. "I just want us to have happy moments once we reach our house. No heavy talks and no secrets. Okay?"
I bit my lip and looked down at our joined hands. She wanted the best for us, and when she was asking like that… I knew I should just open up.
I took a deep breath, feeling my hands slowly turn cold. "Remember, I told you I never loved that stupid man? That I always loved you?"
Her small nod gave me the strength to continue. "It was true… That day, it was just my pride and ego that made me say yes to him. But later, I told him I wasn't into him."
Liana squeezed my hands gently, rubbing her thumb over my skin to calm me down. I swallowed and whispered, "But the whole college knew I accepted him. They used to tease us, and your name came up every time, even when you weren't there."
My voice broke, and I lowered my head. "I can't describe the guilt. Everyone laughed at you, and I couldn't do anything. And that day… when he also laughed, calling your name, I just…"
I felt her hand on my cheek, warm enough to steady the storm inside me. My eyes closed on their own, and a single tear slipped free.
She leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. "Shh… don't you dare cry. I hate it."
I took a shaky breath and whispered, "I slapped him... in front of everyone…"