"Diary of Ralyn Steelheart." Those are the only words boldly written on the first page with ink as red as blood.
I see. It's not surprising that someone like him kept a diary.
The paper makes a flapping sound as I flip open the next page.
My eyes widen.
This language.. It's not English, but I understand it. Even when I never learned any other language apart from English back on Earth.
It must be because of Ralyn's fragmented memories, or the fact that his brain can't easily forget something that had been crammed and learned years ago.
I slowly and cautiously trace the surface of the page with my right palm. Then I squint my eyes as I begin to read the hieroglyphic-like language that reminds me of the patterns on that brass candle.
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Hello, Mr Diary.. My name is Ralyn Steelheart. And from today, I'm going to tell you eeeverything that happens in my life! It was Aunty Rachael who gave me that idea.
Today is the 300th day of the 100th year of the Literian calendar.
My birthday. I'm 5 years old now!
Today was odd, though. No one wished me a happy birthday. Even mommy.. She's begun to avoid me, too, just like Daddy and my big siblings. The only person who wished me a happy birthday was Aunty Rachael! Oh, I love Aunty Rachael so much! But.. when she gifted me this book as my first and only birthday present.. She looked sad. I wonder why.. Maybe it's because the light didn't shine when I touched that crystal thing.
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Hello Diary!
So, it's been about twenty days since my fifth birthday, which I'd been looking forward to my whole life! But, I'm still wondering and waiting.. When am I going to start sword training? That's the whole reason I'd been waiting to turn five, to swing swords like my cool eldest bro!
It's supposed to begin immediately when I turn five. That's what Aunty Rachael said.
But, when I asked Jian, my eldest bro, he called me 'disgusting,' I wonder why? I'm not even smelling, and I bathed veryyyy well too!
Well, I'm sure he didn't mean it. Maybe he just had a bad day! I'm gonna keep waiting.. Maybe I'll be able to train soon. I can't wait, Mr Diary! I'm brimming with excitement!
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Hi Diary.
It's the 57th day of the 102nd year of the Literian calendar. Almost two years since my fifth birthday.
And, honestly, I'm starting to lose hope. I doubt that I'd ever be able to learn swordsmanship.
Am I just not good enough? Why am I being treated this way? Why do things like this always happen to me? I just wanted to learn swordsmanship like everyone else in our family.
Now, no one talks to me. Not even my mom. She.. I don't even remember the last time I saw her. I'm afraid of her now, becaus.... because I heard from Rachael today — the only person who still visits and speaks with me — that mom gave birth to another child about ten days ago. I think it's a girl.
But I don't care though. I don't even come out of my quarters anymore. Aunt Rachael said that my Fath– the Patriarch ordered so. That I shouldn't ever leave my quarters.
It's been about a year since I last stepped foot outside of my quarters. I don't even know anything because I've been here..
I can only ask these questions:
Am I that much of a burden to them? Am I really… disgusting?
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Hello, Diary, my good friend. I have a lot of things to tell you about today..
Today, the 8th day of the 103rd year of the Literian calendar, I found out something cruel. Aunt Rachael told me that my birthday three years ago was the day the amount of Chi — the life force that every living being carries within them — I possessed in my soul was to be measured in accordance with the Steelheart tradition.
That large crystal that I touched back then was supposed to shine a bright light, signifying that I have a good amount of Chi in me. But.. it didn't shine at all… and…
Now I get it.
It explains everything. The reason I've not been allowed to train in swordsmanship, the reason why my siblings treat me like trash, the reason I've not been able to leave my quarters, the reason I don't even know what my Father looks like anymore. And also the reason why.. mom. I haven't– she hasn't spoken with me ever since that day.
It's because having a weak Chi means inferiority in this household, where every member has a high amount of Chi.
And I'm inferior. The lowest of the low. Now I know that they were all right.
I am truly disgusting.
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Diary.. dear diary.
Today was… something else.
It was the 300th day of the 105th year of the Literian calendar. My 10th birthday.
And, as usual, I got no birthday wishes or anything.
Oh. I did get a birthday wish from Rachael. She hugged me. And she looked at me with those same warm eyes she always did. Those eyes that had pity etched in them.
I'm tired. I'm tired of staying here, all alone. I don't want to live here anymore. I don't belong here, these people aren't my family.
I want to go outside. To see the world and its fullness. To see those places that I've only read about in the books that Rachael always gifted me for my birthday. Those books that talk about lands filled with water, oceans they call it. Deserts, I want to ride on a horse and travel around the world.
But alas, I'm stuck here. In the four walls of this Steelheart Estate.
I've begun to dream. Maybe.. just maybe I can leave this place. To run away.
But the Patriarch called for me today. I was quite shocked that he still remembered that I existed.
I met him. That man. That dreadful man who looked like the word death itself. In front of him, I couldn't even stand properly. I couldn't..
I'm scared of him. And I'm scared of what he said. He told me that I'm going to participate in some kind of tournament once I'm fifteen. A tournament that all my elder brothers passed through..
And if I should fail to do well in that tournament, then he'd banish me from the household and strip me of the name Steelheart.
Good right, Diary? Yeah, that's what I thought. Until he said that if I came in dead last, I'd be beheaded.
And the tournament is like a sword-fighting competition. A competition!
When I haven't even held a sword ever since I was born! A competition with our branch families 15 year olds that have been training since they were five!
What the hell is this??! Why me?! Why am I being treated this way?!
I'll probably... no, I know I'll be dead last. So that's how I'd die? Just like that? Without ever having to..
I feel.. I feel caged.
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39th/108th/Literian cal
Diary, today I was called by my mother, whom I haven't seen in years.
She apparently forgot about me and just wanted to see how I look now. After she took a good look at me, she sent me away.
I didn't even feel anything when I saw her. I've long lost any type of love a child can feel for his mother. At least that's what my heart tells me.
The breeze outside was soothing today, I don't remember the last time I went outside. It felt refreshing. Truly refreshing. It was like a dog finally stepping out of its cage for the first time.
On my way to my quarters, I saw a beautiful field. Like a garden. And in that garden, I saw a knight. He was practicing his swordsmanship, and it was beautiful. Then, I remembered the tournament — probably the day of my death — was coming up two years from now. So I had a crazy idea on the spot.
Should I really allow myself to die when I can change that? If I train hard enough, then even with a weak Chi like mine, I can at least try to put up a fight in the tournament and not be dead last. Then I can be banished. Free from my cage.
So I walked up to the knight to plead and beg him to train me. I stuttered as I spoke because I'm not used to interacting with people. Even when I interacted with the Patriarch, I only nodded or shook my head. Even Rachael is getting worried.
The knight's name is Dinan. And he refused to train me, so I came back home.
Haha, it was a good idea. Too bad.
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59th/109th/Literian cal
Diary.
Today again. I found Dinan again today. It's the fourth time I've come across him. I was on my way back from sneaking out to find Rachael to tell her to get me new books.
He isn't a bad guy, honestly. I pestered him every single time I met him, but he never snapped at me, even when he knew he could do so and go unpunished. Instead, he politely turned me down every single time.
I really need to start learning the sword before the tournament next year.
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20th/109th/Literian cal
Diary!
Finally! He accepted after countless pleas! He agreed to teach me swordsmanship! And… I didn't know Dinan was the Vice Captain of the Steelheart forces. He's a guy with the power to kill me whenever he wants. But he doesn't, and I'm grateful.
I'm learning swordsmanship in that field first thing tomorrow morning!! Man, I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep properly with all this excitement.
Now, Diary, I have a little hope. Hope that I might not die. Hope that I may one day exit this.. this cage that I'm trapped in.
Even though the tournament is about 200 days from now, I'm not scared. Because Dinan is strong. I do not doubt his abilities and capabilities.
Yes, tomorrow is the beginning of my journey to escape my cage.
=====
As I read the last sentences written in the diary, I freeze.
My eyes just stare at those last words of his. Of Ralyn's.
A tear squirms inside my right eye, fighting against my will to break free.
And I lose. The lone tear slides down my right cheek, dropping solemnly on the diary in my hands.
"He's not a coward. He's stronger than me." I whisper, cleaning the tear as I stand up and drop the diary back on the bed.
My heartbeat is calm and stable. Same with my breathing. My entire body is in perfect condition.
He saw a world in which he was caged and attempted to escape that cage.
Whereas I..
I walk toward the desk and take a seat, resting my head on it.
"Today is the 21st day of the 109th year of the Literian calendar. And.. Ralyn Steelheart is no more. He has escaped his cage." I mutter to myself, twisting my silver hair. "And I, Viriel Radcliffe, have entered a new one."
Now I understand his fragmented memories. He... knows nothing about this world. He has been trapped here all his life. I–
Knock~! Knock~!
I raise my head immediately when I hear the knock on my room door. "Who?!"
"It's me, Young Master Ralyn." A voice chimes in. A beautiful, melodic voice.
My heart mellows, spreading a weird feeling around my body as my face lights up with a smile.
"Rachael?"