NARA
Throughout the past weeks fewer amounts of people have been picked from the camp for daily labour. I've tried not to associate the new development with the Queen Dowager, still I can't help but wonder if she has anything to do with it or if this is all Kaedyr's doing.
I wouldn't put it past him. He could be doing it just to mess with me, dangling something good before my eyes and then snatching it away when I most need it.
The tent opened, and Jodi walked in. "You're back," she muttered, setting down the sling bag on her shoulder.
"Yes, most of my patients are feeling better, and there aren't that many people who needed my help."
"Ah, that's good to know. Do you know if dinner will be ready soon? I'm famished," she said while undressing.
"Aunty was here about an hour or so ago. I'm sure she'll be done with dinner soon."
"Did you notice that recently our rations have increased, and there are more options of food?" She grabbed a rag from the corner, wetting it, and began cleaning her body while she talked.
"Yeah," I answered absentmindedly because I've been trying not to focus too much on the changes.
"And Sadie, she said the guards brought her several items last week and even a stove for her to cook."
I was also surprised to see how fast the Queen Dowager had granted my request after sending that guard a message. He had been very adamant about disregarding it, but when I asked if he was ready to bear the wrath of the king if my message wasn't delivered to the queen dowager, he changed his tune and practically raced to the palace.
Later that evening, Sadie came knocking on my tent to thank me because apparently the guard had delivered more than what was requested. So much so that Sadie ended up giving out most of the food items in fear that they might perish.
"Yeah,"
"She got new supplies this week again. She said you promised you would get her whatever she wanted and you did."
Standing from the straw mat, I gave a weak nod and walked over to the corner of the room to grab my sling bag. I needed to put an end to the conversation because knowing Jodi, she'll pry and ask questions about things I don't even want to visit.
"That day, when we went to the guard post and you were talking to that guard, was that what you asked him?"
"He helped me deliver a message to the Queen Dowager," I replied, grabbing my rusted scissors and knife.
"So all these new changes, Sadie's supplies and food, the change in labour routine, and the extra meals are all the Queen Dowager's doing?" She asked.
"I can only say the supplies for Sadie are of her doing. The other stuff might just be happening for no reason."
"And you believe that?"
I shrugged at her question.
"Are you seriously going to accept her proposal? You refuse to tell me what happened to you the last time you went to the palace. You've been distant ever since. It's like you're here but not here. You have this absent look in your eyes that scares me. What happened? Why can't you just say no to her? Our people have tough skins we can manage. If we survived the battle, then we can survive this. You don't have to sacrifice yourself for the rest of us. Do you think the people out there would be happy if they find out you're giving yourself to that vermin? Do you think they'll be grateful?"
Sighing as I turned to face her. "I am not doing it for them to be grateful. I am doing what anybody in my position would do for her people. It's not that much of a sacrifice anyway. I'll be living in the palace."
"So, you're going to downplay the fact that you'd be sleeping right next to the enemy? That you'd be giving yourself over to him? When you know you deserve better than that. You deserve an Alpha that would cherish you and everything you hold dear and stand for. An Alpha that would treat you like royalty and worship the ground you walk on. The Lycan king is not that Alpha. Your fated is out there somewhere, waiting to imprint on you. To mark and claim you. You don't have to accept their stupid proposition." Her eyes filled with tears, her voice shaking as she spoke.
I wanted to comfort her, but there wasn't really anything I could do. I know why she's so emotional about this. But really, what other options do we have? Letting Kaedyr use my body just for one night had changed a few things for my people. How much better will it get if I give him absolute use of my body? It's just a body. It will break but I'll heal at some point, right?
"I am sorry."
"What the hell are you apologising for?" She whisper-yelled.
"For making you feel helpless. I know that's how you feel. You've always believed that you could help me shoulder anything, any responsibility, whatever hurdle or challenges I faced. And I know right now, not being able to do anything to get me out of this situation must make you feel helpless and worthless."
Tears streamed down her face. "Stop talking," she croaked, breaking down.
"But I want you to know that you're the most worthy person in my life right now. You've always been worthy in my eyes. And so far you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. You might not know it but having you here is more than enough help anyone could offer me. Why? Because you give me strength, Jodi. You give me the strength I need to keep going, to keep trying. You are my rock, and I want you to know that. Okay? So please, don't feel that way, not when you matter most to me right now. If you crumble, I'll crumble." She leapt off the straw mat and crashed into my arms.
I held her as she sobbed ugly tears, patting her back every second, while assuring her that things will be better and I'll be fine.
"I just wish I could make this all go away. I wish you could tell them to go to hell."
"Even if I can tell them to fuck off, it would be pointless now because we've passed that point."
She pulled from my embrace, wiping the tears from her eyes and she frowned. "What do you mean? What happened?"
Untying the scarf around my neck, I pulled down the collar of my gown. "He marked me," I told Jodi, watching her eyes grow in size as she took in the bite mark on my neck.
"I won't ever be imprinted on by another Alpha. My chance to hopefully find my fated is lost. Even if I fall in love with someone, they will never be able to claim me." I sighed as I shifted my gown back in place and tied the scarf around my neck. "He is my only option now, Jodi."
"I am going to kill him," she snarled, grabbing the collar around her neck in an attempt to rip it off.
I reached for her hand, pulling them off the collar before she could do any damage to her neck. "Hey, hey," I shook her, trying to get her attention. "Jodi," I snarled, "Look at me." Her eyes reddened with tears as her gaze settled on me. "Leave the killing to me, okay? If he dies, I'll be the one killing him, not you. I'll be the one holding the sword that ends his life. Me, not you."
"Promise?" She croaked, and I nodded.
"Have I ever said I'd do something without doing it?" I asked, and she shook her head. "Then believe me when I say, when Kaedyr dies, my face will be the last thing he sees before he takes his last breath and the cold feel of my sword lodged deep within his heart will be the last thing he feels."