"Yu! You bastard! Kouhei is my guy! Are you trying to cuckold me to my face?!"
"Beautiful girls are for the strong! Blame yourself for not being strong enough!"
"What are you even talking about! Let go of him!"
Street brawls are a form of performance art that have been around forever, but two naked men fighting over another man in the middle of a university campus was just too bizarre. At least, that's what Kouhei Imamura thought.
"Stop! You two, stop fighting!"
"But this guy, Yu..."
"Don't listen to him, Kouhei-kun. Iori is a normie who has a beautiful childhood friend and cousin. How could he possibly understand our virgin hardships!"
Miyazawa Yu pressed Iori's head onto the ground and rubbed it against the floor, Unhesitatingly exposed Iori's past.
Hearing this, Kouhei Imamura froze. His eyes and lips trembled simultaneously, as if he had been greatly betrayed.
"Is... is that true, Iori?!"
"Don't get worked up, Kouhei. While Chisa is indeed my childhood friend and cousin, we really don't have a relationship that goes beyond friendship!"
"Tell me, has that beautiful girl ever called you 'onii-chan'?"
He lowered his head and clenched his fists, his bangs covering his eyes so that Iori couldn't see his expression.
"She has! But that was when we were little..."
"That's enough! Don't say any more! A scoundrel who's been called 'onii-chan' by a beautiful girl isn't worthy of my friendship!"
He fell to his knees with a thud, completely shattered by jealousy. Kouhei Imamura's emotions collapsed, and he immediately burst into tears.
To think that even a pervert like Iori Kitahara had a cute cousin who could call him 'onii-chan.' Was it so hard for the world to have one more happy otaku with a younger sister?
"Kouhei! Don't be discouraged! A precious treasure like a 'little sister' cannot be given by fate. We must fight with all our might to get one!"
"...Really? Can a guy like me really have a cute high school girl call me 'onii-chan'?"
Like a parched land receiving a timely dose of sweet dew, Kouhei Imamura slowly looked up at Miyazawa Yu. Iori's deception had made him a little insecure, and his voice was weaker.
"What nonsense are you talking about, Kouhei! You're a handsome man! A person like you is born to build a harem!"
"Ugh— M-mhmm! That's right! How can I fall down here!"
"Come with me! Let's go to a beautiful new life where everyone can have a harem!"
Seeing that Kouhei Imamura's resolve was faltering, Miyazawa Yu immediately extended his hand of friendship.
Although it felt strangely familiar, Kouhei Imamura still resolutely reached for the hand amidst Iori's wails. After all, what kind of bad...
"Welcome!"
"You came, so don't even think about leaving!"
"Yu! You bastard, you tricked me!!!"
Three minutes later, in front of the Pab club tent, Kouhei Imamura wailed in despair, surrounded by a bunch of naked, muscular men.
In contrast, Miyazawa Yu felt much more at ease after putting on Senpai Ryūjirō's jacket. It seemed that the stares from people around him had also lessened.
"Clothes are truly one of the greatest inventions of human wisdom!"
"Honestly, I told you not to trust that guy Yu. This is entirely your own doing, Kouhei."
"Nonsense! Iori, you were definitely trying to trick me into coming here too, weren't you!"
"...I won't deny that."
"Damn it! You're a bunch of animals!!!"
Kouhei Imamura's skinny limbs were no match for them. He was immediately forced to sign and stamp his name, completing the membership application in a matter of minutes.
Looking at the thicker stack of membership applications this year, Ryūjirō Kotobuki and Shinji Tokita both let out a terrifying smile and cheered, "Yosh! Let's have a welcome party!"
"AWOOOOOHHHH!!!"
"Eh? Wait a minute! Didn't we have a welcome party last night? Why are we having another one today?"
Completely blindsided by the news of another victory party, Miyazawa Yu felt his jacket become bland and uninteresting.
After all, with the seniors' style of playing, a single jacket was unlikely to last even half of the night. He might even lose his underwear.
If he were to get drunk and pass out naked in school, he'd probably be singing "Tears from a Prison Window" when he woke up the next day!
"Hah? Of course! Yesterday was a private party for you and Iori. This time, all the new members of the Pab club will be here!"
"That's right! Yu, you have to show them the same spirit you had last night! Don't disgrace our Izu branch!"
"Don't you guys feel any shame that the diving club is competing on who can drink the most..."
Miyazawa Yu's eyes turned into half-moons. He wanted to find an excuse to escape, but with the seniors watching, he could only avoid them for a while. He would eventually be caught and dragged to the drinking party.
"System! Is there any way for me to at least keep my underwear on?"
[Yes, Host! There are! In fact, there are as many as nine ways!]
"Really! Then bring them on!"
It was a pleasant surprise. Miyazawa Yu thought that losing his underwear at the Pab club was an inevitable rite of passage. He never expected the system to have the ability to break this humiliating curse!
At his urging, the system quickly provided the best solution: [Enhanced Reflexes - Hand-Eye Coordination]
"???"
Before Miyazawa Yu could even question it, without any warning, he felt as if the world in front of him had slowed down. His hands' movements also became noticeably faster.
"Hey! Yu, hurry up and help me pack up the tent! We're going to be late!"
"Coming, Senpai Ryūjirō!"
While still getting used to his new ability, Miyazawa Yu suddenly heard Ryūjirō Kotobuki call for him, so he immediately went over to help him pack up the tent.
To his surprise, when he faced the knots that the seniors had tied, which would have taken him a long time to pry open or even bite through, he was able to unravel a tightly bound knot in just five or six seconds.
The speed was so incredible that Nanaka Kotegawa, who was walking by, covered her mouth in astonishment. She even knelt down to carefully observe how his ten fingers could work together so seamlessly.
'If he used that on a person, they'd probably be sent flying!'
"Whoa! That's amazing, Yu! You could make a fortune cheating at a casino with that kind of hand speed!"
Shinji Tokita saw that Nanaka had been gone for a while to get some tape. He came over to see what was going on and couldn't help but exclaim in admiration.
"It's nothing, really~ It's nothing... Wait a minute, what did you just say, Senpai?"
Miyazawa Yu hadn't paid any attention to the crowd. He was still engrossed in his own thoughts, trying to figure out how to avoid the fate of losing his underwear tonight.
But when a certain keyword appeared, it was like a lightning bolt struck his brain. He suddenly had a new idea!
"What did I say? You could make a fortune?"
"No! The sentence before that!"
"The sentence before that? Was it... cheating at a casino?"
That's it! Cheating!
A bright light flashed in his eyes. Miyazawa Yu finally understood the purpose of the skill the system had given him—
Since the yakyuuken and the drinking party were inevitable, he would use his new skill to ensure he won, completely eliminating the possibility of being stripped naked!
"Arigato, Senpai! You've been a great help! Alright! Let's go to the welcome party!"
His attitude, which had been one of desperate resistance just moments ago, changed completely. Feeling secure, Miyazawa Yu revealed a sinister smile.
With his nimble hands, he quickly took over the tasks that Iori and Kouhei had been dragging their feet on.
Working at 300% efficiency, he quickly completed all the logistics work, all while the other two were muttering insults under their breath.
"That's great! You've got spirit! Iori, you should learn from Yu!"
"Since everyone is so impatient! Let's drink to our heart's content today!"
Ryūjirō Kotobuki nodded in satisfaction. He never expected Miyazawa Yu to be so enthusiastic about the drinking party.
He casually criticized the slacking Iori and then led this year's new recruits to a secluded, shady area on campus.
"Yo! Ryūjirō, you're late! Did you manage to recruit any new people?"
"Of course! And they're all amazing new members! They'll definitely surprise you all!"
He gave a hearty response to the Pab club members from other schools. Ryūjirō Kotobuki took a few stickers from a table and put them on Kouhei Imamura's and Chisa Kotegawa's wrists.
"Huh? Chisa? When did you get here, and what are these?"
Miyazawa Yu came over curiously, looking at the stickers on Chisa's wrist, confused.
Were these markers that the different club branches put on their new recruits so they wouldn't lose them after they got drunk?
"You mean these? They're patches that can test for alcohol intolerance!"
While explaining, Ryūjirō Kotobuki also gave Kouhei a thumbs-up and said, "Alright! You go to table A! Chisa, can you go to table B?"
"I don't mind..."
"Wait a minute! What about me and Yu?"
Iori Kitahara raised his hand to ask, feeling a bad premonition. Miyazawa Yu was more direct. "I want to go to table C!"
"No way! Everyone saw how well you and Yu can hold your liquor last night, so you're all going to table A!"
The two of them, who wanted to escape, were both held on the shoulders by the benevolently smiling Shinji Tokita.
Looking at the table A filled with strong alcohol with an alcohol content of over 20%, Iori Kitahara's eyelids were twitching, and he let out a desperate wail, "Noooo!!!"