MILAINE'S POV
I leaned against the wall, arms crossed, bone‑sword in hand.
If we wanted to avoid an ambush by a pack of Fobeas , I needed to stay awake. It's not like I really needed sleep, but an extra countermeasure couldn't hurt.
I kept my flame low. Low enough so as not to give off too much light, but not so low that it didn't hurt.
Pain was necessary.
It felt normal—barely like the worm's blood acid—but enough to keep me on guard.
After a giggle behind me, a few minutes later came footsteps. It was Livia.
"Milaine, do you have a moment?"
Without turning, I kept my eyes on the red sky visible through the missing section of the cave ceiling and answered.
"Aren't you going to sleep with Eleonora? You should rest,"
My ears tracked Livia's footsteps until she stopped next to me.
"Yep, but she's reading right now. So I wanted to use this moment to ask you something important."
'Reading? Right. She has those grimoires. I still don't understand why she has two. Whatever, I'll ask later.'
"All right. Ask what you need to ask," I said, still scanning our surroundings.
Livia moved quickly and planted herself in front of me. I tilted my head down to see her; she was about three inches shorter than me.
Her gaze was determined, and her blue eyes turned completely gold. And also placed her hands on her hips. Even so, her mouth trembled a little; sweat trickled down her face.
"Do you like Leo?" she asked.
'I should've guessed. Obsession is what matters most, so of course it'd be that kind of question.'
I stayed silent while I returned my gaze to potential spots where a scouting Fobea might appear. It wasn't unreasonable to expect one to show up. It still smelled of blood where we ate the worm.
"No," I said, uninterested. I adjusted my grip on the bone‑sword and silently mapped out three possible routes by which a Fobea could appear.
I heard Livia gasp before she spoke.
"N‑no way… Y‑you're lying." she stuttered.
I looked back at her. She'd taken a step back; her face twisted.
'Lying? Ah. Must be the names. I guess I've gotten used to Livia calling that woman Leo.''
"I don't like Eleonora, Livia," I said plainly.
"Eh? W‑what? Now it's true?" Livia said, putting a hand to her head, confusion on her face.
I sighed and resumed scanning for possible ambush points—this time paying closer attention to those near Livia.
'She doesn't even bother to check her surroundings. Careless, Livia.'
"W‑wait! You're tricking me, right? I saw you blush when… w‑when…" she spoke, unable to finish.
"That was different. I felt déjà vu, and someone came to mind. That's all," I said, keeping my tone neutral.
Livia didn't seem completely convinced—the way her eyes narrowed said as much. Even so, I wasn't lying.
"Then why did you lie when I asked if you liked Leo?" she asked.
"That was on me. Sorry. I don't like your 'Leo.' I like someone else who's also named Leo," I said.
"Ah." Livia's eyes softened again. This time her muscles relaxed and the tension left her completely. Even so, she held her breath for a beat, before her eyes finally turned blue again.
She made a silly little smile and leaned against the wall next to me.
"You should've started there, Milaine," she said, her tone much lighter.
"I suppose," I said, watching a band of fireballs travel across the distant red sky.
"Um… so, that person you like… did you confess?" Livia whispered.
I snorted at the question. This time I couldn't hide my smile, it was a very bizarre question.
"Yes. Several times," I said.
"Eh? Several times? So he rejected you?"
'Mhmm… thinking about it, I don't think Leo ever rejected me. Not even the times we ran into Emilie.'
"No. We got married," I answered casually.
"EH?! Mili, you're married?!" Livia exclaimed.
'Mili, huh? So her trust in me went up. I guess now I can call her by her nickname too.'
I remembered the first time I married. That regression was a nightmare. We really had it rough back then.
Extra, extra: Two of Vulkris's Seven get married.
It's unfair for the Seven to ally with each other. It isn't a fair game if the Seven move together.
They should penalize unsportsmanlike conduct and prevent the Seven from uniting. One Seven per house, that's how you keep balance.
The Seven shouldn't be able to ally with any remnant from a hell‑world.
The Seven's gods have too much of an advantage; they should impose disadvantages on their remnants.
The Seven…
'Assholes…'
I focused my mind on controlling my breathing; I couldn't let my flame get out of control. Remembering that life was particularly annoying.
Despite everything, that life wasn't a total failure. It allowed me to find my purpose in the next ones.
Smiling, I turned to Livia.
"Yeah. I'm also a mother," I said.
Livia covered her mouth with both hands, trying to hide her astonishment, but the blush gave her away.
"B‑b‑but… you look so young. I‑I don't mean you're old. It's just…" she stammered.
I noticed her eyes scanning me from head to toe—especially my abdomen.
'Well, that's a nice compliment.'
"Livia, this body has been alive for twenty‑one years," I said, deliberately, so her Gift would recognize my words as truth.
Her eyes flickered between blue and gold. Then they opened wide, showing the sclera. Her face turned into a mix of shock and panic.
"YOU WERE A TEEN MOM?!"
"Pfft." I laughed; I couldn't help it. Teasing her was fun.
Even if the obsession changes, she's still Livia.
Even if she doesn't know it. Even if it no longer matters to her, that doesn't erase everything we went through together.
I didn't know if Livia was under the influence of the goddess of Fate or not. Maybe she was. Maybe she was faking it. Maybe her more manipulative version had awakened earlier.
Even so, I wasn't going to kill my best friend. If things truly went out of control, I'd reset, like always.
I swept the perimeter once more before looking back at her.
'Besides, maybe she and Leo will get along this time. Now that I'm not the obsession, she shouldn't develop jealousy.'
Livia stared at me stunned, while I laughed.
"Um, Milaine? Aren't you sad? I mean… you know..."
'Sad? Ah, I get it. She must think they died when the meteorites hit Earth.'
I shook my head.
"No, I'm not sad. I'm just a bit tired."
Even so, my answer seemed to sadden her.
"I'm really sorry," she whispered.
I sighed.
'All right, fun's over. Better she knows the truth now. We can't get out of this cave without trusting each other.'
"Hey, Livia, can I ask you a favor?" I said.
"Eh? Yes, yes, tell me."
"Could you look at my window?"
"My window? You mean the status window?" Livia asked.
"Yes, exactly. I'd like you to see it."
"Um… is it okay if I do that? Isn't it private?" she asked.
"It's okay. I'm glad you haven't done it so far. But now I'm the one who wants to show you."
"Okay. Then I'll do it."
I nodded and took the chance to redirect my gaze and scan the perimeter.
"Um, Milaine?" Livia asked.
"Yeah?" I said.
"I can't. It says the level difference is too high."
'Mm… did my flame level up that much? Ah. She must be trying to open the white one.'
"Livia, do you happen to see two status windows?"
"Now that you mention it, yes. I see two tabs, one blue and the other white. But the information is blurred," she said.
"Try to open the blue one," I said.
"Okay, let me t—"
'Looks like she did it.'
I didn't open my status window; I wasn't in the mood for a headache. Besides, I was on watch.
I only glanced at Livia. She'd fallen on her butt, staring at the ceiling with her mouth open.
'Yep. It's a mess. Don't worry. Take your time, Livia.'
After several minutes without either of us saying anything, Livia stood. She scratched her head with both hands, agitation written on her face.
"Ay, I need to scream. I need to scream," she said, pacing in circles and scratching even harder.
"Please don't do it, " I said in a neutral tone.
She stopped and started breathing erratically, looking around, then back at me.
"I really need to scream, Milaine," she said, eyes trembling, almost asking for permission.
I sighed, then nodded and opened my arms in an offer to hug her.
"All right, come here," I said.
Livia rushed into me. As soon as I hugged her, a wet impact hit my body, followed by her nails digging into my back. The sound she let out was closer to a roar. I pressed her tighter so it stayed as vibrations against my chest.
All I could do was offer my flame to calm her.
"No! D‑don't us—" I cut her off with my hand and pressed her head deeper against me, letting the flame's effect soothe her.
"It's okay, Livia. I got used to it a long time ago," I said calmly, still watching the perimeter.
***
After a while, Livia wiped away tears and snot.
"Sorry," she said, voice hoarse and eyes red.
"It's okay. It's your first time seeing my window. I should apologize for making you look at that," I said.
"How do you do it? How do you endure that?" Livia asked, hugging herself as she sat against the wall.
"Honestly, at first I didn't. I killed myself a lot, if I'm being honest," I said with a faint smile.
Livia grimaced and looked at the floor.
"It's exponential. Not even cumulative but exponential," she said, voice breaking.
"Yeah. Exponential. Each regression multiplies the pain, and nightmares become more frequent and real," I said
"God‑slayer, Dragon‑slayer, Star‑slayer, Monster-slayer, Spell‑slayer… —c‑child‑slayer… Daughter‑slayer…" Livia said, trembling.
This time, my eyes felt a little heavy at the mention of the last two titles.
I opened the Titles section, specifically the final two.
[Title: Child‑slayer]
Granted for killing over 1,000 children suffering from the God Who Lives on Pestilence's plague, in your 230th regression.
Each time you kill a child, your flame grows stronger (persists across future regressions).
Sometimes, children who are near you will have nightmares about you. (This effect strengthens your Flaw: Immortal)
—
[Title: Daughter‑slayer]
Granted for killing your own daughter on her deathbed to keep the Goddess Who Hides in the Mist from tormenting her, in your 483rd regression.
Each time you kill someone's daughter, you may steal her Innate Abilities (persists across future regressions).
Sometimes, daughters who are near you will have nightmares about you. Flaw: Immortal)
—
For a moment my hand trembled, and my flame tried to get out of control. But it was only for a second.
I wanted to cry. But there was nothing left to cry about. I'd cried far too many times, and it never helped.
The only thing that helps is to keep moving.
"Livia, I want to ask you for something," I said.
She flinched a little when I called her and turned to me.
I didn't know if she'd read everything on my status screen. For years, I hadn't even read it all myself.
But now she knew about my flame. That was enough.
"Y‑yes?" she stammered.
"I want you to help me find my husband. I want you to help me find my Leo,"
***