What to do with a rubber-brained captain?
That was the question Ignis was pondering on the ship! How to have a freaking reasonable conversation with a total idiot!
He racked his brain for knowledge from his past life!
Crap! There was nothing in psychology about how to treat a rubber-brain!
They'd entered the Grand Line without any major screw-ups! He'd just tried to talk Luffy outta fighting Laboon, the giant whale, knowing how the story went!
But Luffy had still charged in to fight for that busted figurehead!
He'd thought this part was pretty dumb when he watched the anime! But seeing it happen in real life? It was freaking surreal!
A whale the size of a freaking island! And Luffy just wanted to throw down!
It wasn't like Laboon was some unstoppable force! It was just that normal people would be a little scared of a creature that big!
Now, Laboon had swallowed 'em whole! Ignis decided to take a nap in his cabin!
Watching Luffy's antics was an insult to his freaking intelligence!
Too bad he'd barely hit the bunk when he heard whispering coming from under the bed!
"Mr. 9, I think we snuck into the wrong place."
"Ms. Wednesday, this looks like a blacksmith's shop."
"Mr. 9, the owner of the place is sleeping in the bed."
"Ms. Wednesday, we should get outta here before he wakes up."
Wait, how'd Vivi get in here?!
The future Princess Vivi was still working for Baroque Works! She was a total goofball, not the strong, kind leader she'd become later!
He couldn't let on that he knew her! Otherwise, she'd be suspicious of the Straw Hats!
Screw it! He'd scare 'em a little!
Forge God Form!
"Could you guys keep it down?"
A giant ram head, a rumbly voice, fiery eyes! Ignis looked down at the two figures huddled under the bed!
"Aaaaah! A monster! A ram-headed monster!!!"
Their screams brought Luffy and the others running! Ignis tied up the two intruders and hauled 'em onto the deck!
"Mr. 9! What do we do? We're tied up!"
"Ms. Wednesday, just wait! They'll untie us eventually!"
Crocus, the doctor inside the whale, told Luffy that the two were whale hunters! Then, Crocus told the story of the whale and led the crew outta Laboon's belly!
Ignis dragged Mr. 9 and Ms. Wednesday along! He wasn't listening to Crocus's story! He was thinking about something else!
Was Vivi really this goofy before she revealed she was a princess?!
She was a master of disguise! If he didn't know the story, he'd never guess she was royalty!
"Hey, you!" Ignis heard Vivi call! He leaned in close!
"What's up, pretty lady?"
"Could you take us to Whiskey Peak?"
"Nope!"
"If you take us there, we'll repay you handsomely!"
"Don't care!"
"Please, sir! You look like a man of high moral fiber!!!"
"Oh yeah? That's a first!"
"Please, sir! Take us back! We'll give you money!"
"Too bad! I'm a freaking villain! Heh heh heh!" Ignis cackled evilly and lifted Vivi's chin!
He had to mess with her now! He wouldn't get another chance!
"You're wearing a freaky outfit, but you got a pretty face!"
"If I sold you, I could make a freaking fortune!"
Vivi fluttered her eyelashes, but no tears came! She had to play the damsel!
"No! You can't do that! I believe in your goodness!"
This was too much fun!
"Wahahaha! I'm a 29,990,000 Berry pirate! I'm a pure evil demon! I'd sell you in a heartbeat!"
Before Vivi could come up with a comeback, a violent jolt shook the ship!
Whoa! What the freaking hell was that?!
He turned and saw Luffy battling Laboon! The whole ship was shaking!
The promised battle! Luffy was making a promise to Laboon! He'd wait for their rematch someday!
Luffy had stopped Laboon from committing suicide by headbutting the Red Line!
In the end, the crew agreed to give the Baroque Works duo a ride to Whiskey Peak! They set sail again!
"Is it snowing?"
The Grand Line's weather was freaking unpredictable! The crew, who'd planned ahead, put on their winter clothes! They were still a ways off from Whiskey Peak!
The wind and weather were changing like crazy! Even Nami, the super-navigator, was having a hard time reading the wind!
"Nami! There are icebergs on the sea!"
"Nami! Thick fog ahead!"
"Nami! The waves are getting higher!"
Steering the ship, patching holes, trimming the sails...
They were short-handed!
Vivi was still playing her role!
She wasn't gonna help!
"Zoro! Wake up, you freaking moss-head! Help us out!!!"
Nami tried to rouse Zoro, but he was out cold!
Watching his crewmates scramble, Ignis decided to step in!
"Nami! Take down all the sails! Stay at the helm and tell me where to go!"
"What are you gonna do?"
Forge God Form!
"Whoa! It's the ram-headed monster again!!!"
Ignis turned into a giant! He dove into the stormy sea and braced himself against the Going Merry's stern!
Searing Charge!
Steam billowed from the back of the ship! The Going Merry lurched forward again!
The next day...
Zoro woke up feeling great! He'd slept like a log! He thought he heard voices on the ship!
"Turn left! There's a reef ahead!!!"
"Too far left! A little to the right!!!"
"Okay, that's it! C'mon up! We're here!"
What "here"? Was his dream reaching the shore?
He opened his eyes! Ignis was sprawled on the deck, soaking wet!
"What's wrong with Ignis?"
"You wanna know? You slept through the whole freaking thing! We couldn't wake you!"
Nami punched Zoro on the head!
Zoro knew he was in the wrong watching his crewmates look like they'd been through a meat grinder! He didn't say a word!
Ignis was trying to get up!
He was hurting!
"Look! Ignis is moving!"
He was still sprawled on the deck, but he was dragging himself towards his smithy!
"Stop standing there! Give him a hand!"
Ignis felt himself being lifted up and laid on his bunk!
"I need a freaking nap! Don't wait for me!"
He couldn't fight it anymore! He felt like he'd pulled four all-nighters in a row! He was about to freaking crash!
Ignis closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep.
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