"Again. Tell me why," Haruto bit back a groan as he watched the carnage unfold before him. "Just why are we here again?" They had travelled again after Ruby had finally won a match by complete accident and total luck, but her skill had improved drastically in one day, bumping her up scythe skill from the rank of "insane psycho" to "fairly-competent newbie".
Ruby gave her usual grin, but seemed chipper and much more lively as she and hundreds of other spectators observed a bunch of men and women fighting to the death in an area with blunt objects. Sticking out her middle finger into Haruto's hidden face, she began. "Number one, we're low on funds. I heard we can join this competition, the winner gets a shit load of cash, y'hear me?" Her second hand shot up and gave Haruto another middle finger. "And number two, because I'm so sick of you complaining every time you kill someone. So you gotta come here and man the fuck up by killing a bunch of bitches."
"Innocents. Not someone." Ruby removed her middle fingers from his mask and placed her hands to her hips, a scowl on her face.
"This is the shinobi world, Haruto. Not everything is bright and sunny. Look at me," she gestured to her whole body. "I'm a psychotic maniac that has immortality and shares thoughts with a dark deity that I thought was a guy but is actually a girl." Ignoring his obvious raised eyebrow from behind the mask, she continued. "You on the other hand turned into a heart-stealing Frankenstein with a BDSM-fetish. Still think the world is all sunshine and rainbows?"
"I already knew that, and it's Frankenstein's Monster. Frankenstein was the doctor." He corrected her.
She gave him a look. "Oh, whatever nerd. Besides, eventually you'll have to kill innocents; those two old geezers that lived next to my place didn't count. They were practically the walking dead with how fuckin' old they lived to." She leaned on her staff, bending her back like an old person's. "Also, you didn't even defend yourself from the BDSM-fetish tag I placed on you. I'll bet you use those whips to tie yourself up and spank yourself, don't you." Ruby shuddered violently, almost exhilarated, at the idea and Haruto inched away.
He sighed. "I assure you, I do not spank myself."
"Yeah," Ruby snorted. "And the sky isn't purple." She walked away after muttering condescendingly, leaving an even more confused Haruto behind.
"But the sky isn—" Deciding to drop it, Haruto quickly followed his snickering companion to their seats. Their location? An "underground" fighting arena. And when Haruto meant underground, he meant illegal, not as in underneath the—
Oh, you get what I mean.
"Excuse me... Pardon me... Coming through." Haruto muttered to the different people that were crowded around the railings, watching and cheering as a man was killed without mercy, screaming as the kunai was plunged into his belly over and over again. Ruby, on the other hand, made no effort to be polite. Shoving and roughly bumping spectators out of the way, most gave way as the sight of a tiny woman effortlessly carrying a giant scythe scared the shit out of them.
"Oi, move fucker... Get the fuck outta my way, shit-bird... You mother fucker, did you just grope me?!" Haruto could hear Ruby kick someone hard, causing a loud crunch which was followed up immediately by an agonising scream, the pain finally registering into the, judging by the masculine screams, man's brain. The crowd groaned as they saw the man falling to his knees, clutching his privates, the same place where Ruby had viciously kicked.
"No one touches my ass, got it, Bendy?" Haruto couldn't see what she was doing, but could easily infer that she had bent something out of shape judging by the "affectionate" nickname she gave her molester. As much as Haruto didn't want to admit it, he would like to see people like him suffer, rapists and the like.
"ARRRGGHHHHH, MY DICK!"
The sound of bones being snapped could be heard, followed up with the shrill scream of Ruby's victim.
"DID YOU FUCKING HEAR ME, BENDY? IF YOU TOUCH ME AGAIN, THE ONLY WOMAN THAT'LL BE LAUGHING AT THIS PATHETHIC LITTLE THING EVER AGAIN WILL BE ME WHEN I CUT THESE DRIED UP RAISINS OFF YOUR GODDAMN BODY. SO DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS 'NO ONE FUCKING TOUCHES ME'? DO YOU?!"
"I GOT IT, I GOT IT!" The voice wailed, wishing that he was dead just so that she would stop grinding her sandal into his "dried up raisins". "NOW LET ME GO YOU FUCKIN' CRAZY ASS BITC-! AAAAGGGGGRRRRHHHHH, MY FINGERS!"
Haruto palmed his forehead.
Can't we go to one place without maiming or permanently crippling someone?
"Did you really have to cut off his fingers save for his pinkies?" Haruto asked as they were nearing their seats, quite close to the railings. He hoped some guy's blood didn't spray onto him, he had taken a bath not too long ago.
"Did I? Not really. I did it because it was funny, that's why." Ruby chuckled. "Can you imagine him? Trying to pick shit up with only his pinkies? Hahahaha! That's how you leave an impression on people. Something they won't ever forget." Ruby smirked; evidently very proud of her makeshift surgery she performed on the man who had just lost two thumbs and six fingers to her dearest scythe. Jashin-sama was very pleased with the fact that Ruby had left him alive with only his pinkies. Now he could never masturbate properly, eternal torment!
"Oh don't give me that look; he called me a crazy ass bitch too..." She argued poorly in her defence.
"I very much worry for the man that marries you." Haruto said offhandedly, feeling very sorry for the unfortunate man that would catch Ruby's lilac eyes.
That certainly caught Ruby off guard, seeing as she tripped and fell onto her face. Helping her up, Haruto watched as she looked indifferent to the fall, acting all cool and casual. Noticing that Haruto was still looking at her, she snarled awkwardly at him.
"Wh-What?! Marriage is something that won't ever happen for me! I'm a free woman!"
"Hmm... A shame. I can already hear the cries of the men around the Elemental Nations."
Ruby flushed furiously. His sarcasm, lost on the spluttering silver eyed maiden.
"Sh-Shut up! I-I bet you totally want to marry me! An-And you definitely want to give me a bunch of children and... and..." Her voice suddenly got very hazy, like she had suddenly lapsed into a daydream.
"... And then we'll have a pair of cute little girls. Th-the older one, Akemi, she'll have your blonde hair and my silver eyes and the younger one, Akeno, will have my black and red hair and your big blue eyes … they will have inherited our phlegmatic personality… and we'll all live in a... a nice house beside the sea, surrounded by a white picket fence and lots of... lovely flowers for us to grow. And even though we're immortal, we'll love each other and our babies until the end of time." Ruby's eyes began to sparkle slightly, looking very much like she was about to bawl her eyes out were it not for the faint misty smile on her face. Haruto suddenly realised that when Ruby wasn't struck by bouts of insatiable bloodlust and insanity... he felt like he was actually attracted to her.
Haruto looked unsure for a second before he chuckled. "Good one, Ruby. For a second, you nearly got me." Ruby's face got confused for a second before she realised what she had said, and turned her confusion into a savage grin before she shoved him into his seat. "Oi, Haruto. You want anything?" She gestured to the stand selling greasy junk food.
"No thanks, I'm fine." Hearing his answer, she turned around, the grin dropping into a small frown.
"Whatever." She mumbled, placing a hand to her heart. Feeling it beat furiously, the black and red haired girl shook her head and ignored the feeling, making a bee-line towards the concession stand where a fat greasy man was selling hotdogs and popcorns. Baka...
"Catch." In a bitter voice, Ruby tossed an open bag of popcorn at Haruto. Not expecting the food since he hadn't asked for any, the bag knocked against the side of his head and caused popcorn to go everywhere. Most of it fell into the arena where the yellow debris distracted a pair of men who were fighting and caused them to be eaten alive by a fairly large lion that had been recently released into the pit.
"Are you mad about something? Did I say something wrong?"
"Yes. No. Shut up." She spoke in clipped tones.
"Alright, alright." Haruto raised his hands up in surrender, "If I did, I just wanted to apologize."
"Tsk, you don't even know what you did wrong and now you want to apologize?"
Haruto groaned softly at how she was acting. Was this the reason father agreed with anything mother said? Just to avoid these kinds of situations entirely? "Women. Strange creatures, truly." He mumbled beneath his breath and behind his mask.
"What'd you say?" She turned to face him, the narrowed eyes alerting him to rethink his previous statement.
"I said," He cleared his throat, "Er—phlegmatic personality?" He spoke again in a smaller voice, hoping she bought his lie.
Ruby looked lost for a moment, "Huh?"
"You know, when you were telling me that joke earlier on and you said that you wanted your "daughters"to have inherited our phlegmatic personality? It's hard to believe you being a phlegmatic."
"Oh," Ruby's face dropped for a moment, before perking right back "Right. I am used to be a someone who was calm, composed, and not easily excited or emotional like you, Haruto." Scowling, she began tugging on her black and red hair unhappily. "Then that stupid cult decided to torture me in order to please Jashin-sama, they fucked with me so much that I got such a serious case of mental disorder. And Jashin-sama wasn't all that pleased that her champion was being abused without even receiving her blessing yet. I could've died that night, but remember, I'm a mother fuckin'—"
"Survior. Besides… I like you as it is." Haruto finished her sentence, and Ruby smirked at him before blushing at the second statement, secretly glad that he had remembered her catchphrase and very happy that he had complimented her for being who she was. His kind words made her feel warm inside. She swore she could hear Jashin-sama egging her on to hold his hand.
And you know what?
She fuckin' did.
Not because Jashin-sama told her to, but because she wanted to. Again, Jashin-sama seemed to be cheering loudly in her head, sounding surprisingly cheerful for a deity representing bloodlust and carnage.
Haruto raised an eyebrow at the action. "Is something—"
"I'm cold! Now hush and watch them kill each other." Ruby quickly muttered an excuse. Not wanting Haruto to get the wrong idea, yet not wanting him to let go. Haruto allowed a happy smile to grace his face, another thing he had been doing a lot ever since meeting Ruby besides sighing.
And there they sat, watching a bunch of half-naked men and the occasional woman slaughter each other, holding hands as fresh gore sprayed in the air. In Ruby's opinion, a Saturday afternoon just didn't get better than this.
"So… You're my container, are you? What brings you to this… septic tank of a seal I reside in?" Kurama spat in contempt at the little girl, backed up by her mother, both of whom looked very similar. "Oh, and brought your mother with you as well?"
"Yeah. And I'm here to…" Kurama tensed up, expecting the two redheads to pick a fight with him. To chain him down with those insufferable chakra restraints of theirs and control him forcefully, stealing his power for their own uses like they had done to his siblings.
Typical humans, so predictable.
"… be friends with you."
He took that back. He had not expected that answer at all.
The fox snorted, blowing a gust of wind at the mother and daughter pair who stared down the Kyuubi without fear. Naruko had dealt with scarier things before, like her mother on a rampage and… and Haruto leaving.
"An interesting game you play, child. What could you possibly interest me that would want me to grant you my power? Tch, I am the great Kyuubi, the destroyer of countries and—"
"Is very alone." Naruko cut the fox off, noting the widening of the slit eyes. She had hit the nail on the head on that one. "Which is why I'd like to get to know you. It must be boring as hell to be all alone, sleeping all the time. I don't want to force you to share your power, which is why I'm extending a hand out to you as an understanding that I'm on your side."
"Quite the special mortal you are, so much more different from your ancestors. They themselves tried to use my power for their own. Humankind is just as bad as I am, even more so. Igniting and causing wars, killing and raping, so many of these things in attempts at what? Land? Money? Power? Earthly tethers are of no use to the dead. Besides, there's no telling what you actually want from me. This could very well be some ruse."
"That's why I want to be your friend. So that We—" She gestured to both herself, Kushina and Kurama. "Can understand each other better. That I can understand the Bijuu and you can understand humans. I won't lie, but I really do need power from you, but I won't do it forcefully. Or else I'd be just as bad as the humans you've met in the past." The glowing eyes beyond the darkness of the bars seemed to glint slightly, the Kyuubi contemplating his words.
"… Hmph. We will see..." He had gotten acquainted with Naruko's personality rather well over the years and no matter how perverse, eccentric and strange she came off as he still could sense the goodness in her. She was even offering him an olive branch. He supposed he could play nice until she proved otherwise.
The little redhead gave the Kyuubi a thumbs up and a giant grin.
"That's all I can ask for."
She was so glad she took those speech classes daddy forced her to attend seriously. It was to build up a potential future Hokage's ability to boost morals during war and to connect with their people. And it had totally paid off! Had she not taken it, she could easily guess that she would have pissed the Kyuubi off by saying the wrong thing. Thank Kami she decided to do it diplomatically.
As Kushina and Naruko faded, Naruko swore she saw the Kyuubi grin, right as she vanished from the seal and returned to the real world. Whether or not it was a good grin or a bad grin, Naruko didn't really know. But it didn't matter in the end. She was going to make him into her friend even if it took her forever!