⚠️Warning: This chapter contains violent scenes and graphic descriptions. The author does not intend to sensationalize or upset the reader. These depictions are only a way to show the events as they occurred. Reader discretion is advised.
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"I keep returning to my memories… the few fragments left."
"I don't even know if what I think makes sense anymore."
"But I can still see pieces of what happened, like broken glass on the floor."
"And yet, I still can't explain how it ended up being just us… the only ones left."
There were so many people in the village. One day, they were simply gone.
"My mother said she saw only blackened, dried bodies—like something had stolen their lives."
"I don't remember my parents' faces anymore."
"But my sister's? I do."
"She had two braids, freckles, a rag doll she never let go of."
"She cared for me. Spoiled me."
"And it still hurts not knowing what happened to her the day we were separated."
I was scared.
"The door slammed shut with a thunderous crash."
"Then, a metallic click froze my blood: a loaded gun."
"Now I know it was probably my father who killed my mother."
"I don't know if my sister was in the house; I didn't see her when I left with him."
"He grabbed my arm so hard it dislocated my shoulder."
"We hadn't eaten in two days."
"I think he was drunk."
"Tears ran down my face while I looked at him—his eyes were empty, like he wasn't even there.
"He took me to the cliff."
"Tied me to a log."
"Then, with the whip meant for the mule buried in the garden, he lashed me."
"When Kamei-san—a man with Asian features, braids behind his ears, a good man whom in my heart I've called my second father—saw me for the first time, he asked Galton, the one they called the First Saint, if he had been the one who'd done this to me."
I never knew for sure, but they said my ribs showed.I slept almost two weeks recovering.It's as if the blows my father gave me carved themselves into my flesh and soul—I still feel those lashes even now.
I begged him to stop.If I counted right, it was thirty-four lashes.The whip struck my forehead, tore part of my ear.I cried and screamed: "Papa! Please! No! No, papa!"
He didn't stop.Blood blurred my vision.I fell to the ground.
All I could hear was my father laughing and crying."What have I done?" he said.He laughed manically, then pulled the gun from his belt and killed himself.
When I woke, I saw him there on the floor.I could only cry.I loved my father.But I couldn't even hug him; the rope they'd tied me with was mule-hair.
I don't know why, but one day to the next, he went insane.I stayed there, crying while it rained.Frozen. Hungry. Barely able to stand.
And the village—nestled between mountains, crossed by a river—disappeared.I don't know if it rained for days, but the cliff became the shore of a new lake.My village… ceased to exist.
I was terrified.Because then—right in front of me—appeared a golden beast.It burned like lava, flames licking its skin.Three faces: man, ox, lion.Wings. Eyes everywhere.
The beast touched my forehead.And I fell asleep.
I don't know how much time passed.When I opened my eyes, Kamei-san was there."Don't move, child," he said. "You'll reopen your wounds."
He cared for me.Gave me medicine—some strange, black, bitter soup.
It scares me to say this happened almost fifty years ago.I was only five when it happened.But before that tragedy, I remember nothing. Only the feelings.
After arriving in Vermot, a new hell began.They told me God had granted me immortality—or rather, that I couldn't age.And even though I'm fifty-three, my face is still that of a young man.
I can still remember my body trembling with lightning on those nights tied to the log.
That man Galton—when I recovered—tortured me in every way."I don't understand how God chose a piece of shit like you," he'd say."I still think you're not the Saint of Fire. You're just another waste of time."
According to him, I was supposed to be the Saint of Fire and fulfill some prophecy.But I never understood what that prophecy even was.
He "trained" me, or so he said.But what he really did was use my body to see how much it could endure: dagger cuts, endless endurance training, things he'd do to me while I slept.
He once tied my hands and feet and told me to free myself.Problem was, he'd tied me to a tree crawling with ants and venomous insects.
Almost eighteen years passed… until one day he simply got bored of me.I still don't know why Kamei-san never acted.But I don't blame him.When I learned of Galton's power, I knew—not even I could have done anything.
Since then, I keep asking myself: "Why me?"They beat me.Told me what to do.And I obeyed.When I look in the mirror, I see nothing but an empty shell.A person without purpose.A prophecy? What the hell even is that?
The worst part?I can't leave this place.Something stops me.Something keeps me trapped in this cabin and this endless forest.
Why would He choose me?I have no gifts.I wish He had given me the right not to exist.I wish I could die.Living is constant pain.But now… I don't even care anymore.
I don't know what's worse:That I can't die… or that I want to, but divine protection won't let me.
Did God make me to suffer?Was it part of the prophecy that my parents died?Was it part of the prophecy that I would suffer for no reason?
I don't know.All I know is I have no strength left to think.I just want someone to kill me.
And what hurts the most…is that I can't even remember what my name was before I came to Vermot.