The most frustrating missions in the shinobi world were escort missions. They looked simple on paper, but in reality, they were nothing but traps. What was listed as a C-rank mission could easily escalate into a B-rank or even higher. Villagers and merchants didn't always have the funds to pay for the reclassification, yet the risks fell on the shinobi's shoulders.
Orochimaru thought about this as the team walked, his golden eyes flicking from his comrades to their teacher.
"Hiruzen-sensei," Tsunade suddenly said, her tone brimming with impatience, "don't you think that with my strength and Orochimaru's, these kinds of missions are beneath us? We're being overbearing."
Her clenched fists sparkled faintly with static. Tsunade had recently begun experimenting with her Lightning Release: Lightning Stimulation technique. By channeling lightning through her body, she temporarily boosted her physical performance. She hadn't perfected it yet, but the confidence radiating from her expression made it clear—if she landed a punch on most jonin, they'd be sent flying.
Before Hiruzen could respond, a familiar, frustrated voice rang out.
"Hey! Tsunade! Don't ignore me! I'm really strong now!"
Jiraiya puffed out his chest in exaggerated pride, but despite his loud voice, his feet carried him a step backward. He eyed Tsunade's flickering lightning cautiously.
Orochimaru raised an eyebrow. Typical.
"Hmph. This is a ninjutsu I developed myself," Tsunade said proudly, extending her hand toward Jiraiya. Crackles of lightning danced between her fingers, sharp and bright against the afternoon light. "Jiraiya, do you want to try it?"
Her smile was terrifying. She had never tested the move in a fight, and she didn't mind using Jiraiya as her first subject.
"I—Lord Jiraiya—am not the kind of man to get serious with girls!" Jiraiya proclaimed dramatically, though his voice cracked halfway through.
It was a weak excuse for his cowardice. Everyone present knew how many times Tsunade had already flattened him with her fists. The idea of her blows being enhanced with lightning chakra? Even more terrifying.
"What?!" Tsunade's tone turned sharp, her eyes narrowing. "Are you just making excuses for being scared?"
Here we go again, Orochimaru thought, watching the familiar sparks of conflict flare up between the two.
Hiruzen's forehead vein throbbed. "Listen to me properly!" His voice rose, cutting through their quarrel.
Instantly, both students snapped their attention to him, only to point accusing fingers at each other.
"Hiruzen-sensei, it's Jiraiya's fault!" Tsunade barked.
"No! It's Tsunade's fault!" Jiraiya shot back.
"Enough!" Hiruzen's voice cracked like a whip. He drew in a steadying breath before continuing. "Don't underestimate your opponents. Strength alone isn't everything. Teamwork and cooperation—those matter just as much. Perfect coordination can help you defeat enemies far stronger than yourselves."
He paused, scanning the three of them with stern eyes. "Never forget that."
But Orochimaru, watching from the side, doubted the lesson had sunk in. Tsunade's fists twitched. Jiraiya was already making some ridiculous face. Cooperation? That seemed like a distant dream.
Still… Orochimaru thought, the Chūnin Exams of this era must be interesting. I wonder how different they are compared to the ones in Kakashi's or Naruto's time.
His musing was interrupted by a familiar sound.
Bang!
Jiraiya's body went airborne. Tsunade's punch, though not boosted by lightning this time, still sent him spiraling through the sky. Orochimaru tilted his head, watching Jiraiya spin.
He's flying higher than usual. How impressive.
He glanced at Tsunade, whose cheeks flushed red with fury. Thankfully, she hadn't activated Lightning Stimulation, or Jiraiya might have breached the clouds.
"Hopefully his training on Mount Myōboku gave him a sturdy enough body," Orochimaru muttered. He silently offered Jiraiya three seconds of prayer. Anyone reckless enough to repeatedly step on Tsunade's landmines had only himself to blame.
Another thud echoed as Jiraiya hit the ground, his butt sticking up comically while his limbs twitched.
"That's all I have to say," Hiruzen announced, massaging his temple as if staving off a headache. "Don't waste this month. If you need help with your training, come find me at the Hokage's office."
With a swirl of leaves, the Third Hokage vanished using the Body Flicker Technique.
"Eh? He's already gone?" Jiraiya groaned, picking himself up. Dust clung to his clothes, and one cheek ballooned into a swollen lump.
"Oh right! Orochimaru!" His eyes suddenly lit up. "Thanks for your loving soldier pills!"
He clasped his hands into a heart shape and shot Orochimaru a dazzling grin. With an exaggerated hair flip, he struck a pose. "I feel your strong affection! Let's go out, Orochimaru!"
"...What?!"
Tsunade froze, jaw slack.
Orochimaru's eyes widened.
What loving soldier pills? What nonsense is this fool spouting?
"Shouldn't you be confessing to Tsunade?" Orochimaru thought furiously. "Why are you confessing to me? Just because I'm cute doesn't mean I'd ever be interested in you!"
"I refuse," Orochimaru said flatly, without hesitation. "You and I are impossible."
Delaying rejection for even a second would have been an insult to herself.
"Ah… such a clean refusal," Jiraiya whispered. His face turned gray, his body freezing like a statue. He hadn't expected the rejection to come so quickly—or so decisively.
Orochimaru turned to Tsunade, her tone accusing. "Tsunade, you've been too violent toward Jiraiya. You've broken his head."
"Eh? Do you think so too?" Tsunade blinked. For a moment, guilt flashed in her eyes. Had she really damaged his already not-so-bright brain? Otherwise, why would he suddenly confess to Orochimaru?
Yes, his brain must be broken!
A dark aura surrounded Tsunade as her fists cracked ominously. Behind her, an imaginary demon mask leered, glaring at Jiraiya with killing intent.
"Ah hahaha! I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" Jiraiya waved his hands frantically, stepping back. "Of course, Lord Jiraiya likes mature beauties with great figures! Orochimaru, Tsunade—you're both not my type!"
"Bastard! You call this a joke?!"
Boom!
Once again, Jiraiya flew through the air, Tsunade's iron fist merciless.
"This is how my romance ends… before it even begins…" Jiraiya cried as he spiraled skyward, tears trailing after him.
Orochimaru watched silently, her golden eyes reflecting his tiny spinning figure. Children in this world are too precocious, she thought.
At the academy, little girls already screamed at handsome boys. Even Naruto, at twelve, had used the Transformation Jutsu in a ridiculous attempt to steal Sakura's first kiss. By comparison, Jiraiya's clumsy confession almost felt normal.
But reality in the shinobi world was cruel. These children learned about romance too early, about danger even earlier. As genin, they faced deadly missions. A single mistake could cost them their lives.
Dreams… fragile dreams.
Orochimaru thought of the founders. Hashirama Senju's dream of peace, shattered after his death like a fragile soap bubble. Tobirama Senju, who poured everything into his ideals—even his life—yet died alone, still single.
Perhaps, Orochimaru mused, loneliness gave rise to power. Tobirama's countless forbidden jutsu were proof. Was that the strength of solitude?
The thought drew a strange smile across her lips.
patreon (Obito_uchiha)