*~1865~*
"Marry me, Azazel."
Lucien dropped to one knee, holding out a small box that contained a glittering ring inside. My eyes locked onto it, and I stumbled back, swallowing hard. No, this couldn't be happening. My stomach twisted in knots.
"What's going on?" I asked, pretending not to understand, because there was no way he could have feelings for me.
He chuckled, his innocent yet devastatingly handsome face softening into a smile that revealed the dimples I secretly adored.
"I'm asking you to marry me. I want you to be my wife."
"B-but I'm not your mate. What if I'm not your mate?" My voice trembled as I struggled to process the words leaving his lips.
"Forget the mate bond," he said firmly. "I don't care about that. The mate bond isn't real if you're not my mate. What's real is this… Azazel, when I first saw you in the forest, you captured my heart. I've been fascinated by your beauty, your heart, your smile, and your voice. Your ability to sing, scare the birds away, and make the dead run—how could I not fall?"
We both laughed softly, but I couldn't believe this was happening. I, Azazel—the lowly assassin who had dedicated my life to hunting and killing the Riverdale pack, the one who swore to make them pay for slaughtering my parents—was standing in front of the Alpha's son, being asked to marry him. And the worst part?
I wanted to say yes. I wanted the ring. I wanted to be his wife, to have a family, to live in the peace his pack had stolen from me.
But that wasn't the plan. The plan was to make the Moretti brothers fall for me and use them to my advantage.
So why did my heart ache now? Why did my stomach hurt? Why were tears pouring down my face? I should take the ring. I should take my revenge before the wedding, right?
Lucien rose and gently set the ring on the ground. He brushed my tears away with his thumb and then embraced me tenderly.
"Why are you crying, Master? Didn't you once tell me that tears were a sign of weakness?" he whispered, still smiling that innocent smile.
"I'm sorry, I can't," I said, breaking the embrace and pushing him back slightly.
His smile faded, replaced by a broken expression.
"But… why? You love me, Azazel. I know it. I see it in your eyes. So why reject me?"
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do!"
"NO, I don't!" I shouted, and he stumbled back at the force of my voice.
"The only bond between us is that of student and master. I chose to train you to become a better wolf while you accepted me as your maid and brought me into the High House," I said, forcing out the truth of our arrangement.
"And what about everything after that, huh?" he demanded, stepping closer.
I backed away until my shoulders hit the wall, but he didn't stop. His long silver hair slipped over his face, and his golden eyes shone with pain as he closed the distance between us.
"What about those nights, Azazel? After we exhausted each other in training… or when you'd come to my room and pretend to clean? All you did was stare at me with that soft smile. What about when you gave me your lucky bracelet to protect me from danger? Why do you stay even after training ends? Why do your eyes soften every time you look at me? Why does your heartbeat race whenever I get close, like it is right now? You love me, Azazel. Just admit it. We're made for each other!" he growled, his breath hot against my face, my own heartbeat pounding in my ears.
He was right. I had fallen deeply in love with him. But he was also wrong. We weren't made for each other. I was danger itself. I was the one who killed his mother in my quest for revenge. I was the assassin he'd been trained to hunt. I was the reason he wanted to become stronger. I only gave him that bracelet to protect him from the most significant danger he'd ever face… me.
"I'm sorry, Lucien. I can't marry you. I just can't." My voice cracked. I didn't even know what I was doing anymore. I had planned to make him fall for me, but now I couldn't accept his ring because I had fallen for him too. And so… I had to run. Far away.
I pushed him back, but his hand shot out, gripping my arm. Tears glistened at the edges of his golden eyes, and my heart splintered at the sight.
"Can I… at least kiss you? Just once. The first and the last."
I swallowed hard. Without thinking, I grabbed his face and crushed my lips against his. His breath mingled with mine, his mouth moving protectively over me, desperate, claiming. Our tongues met, tangling in a bittersweet goodbye.
I slipped my hand into his robe and stole his royal plaque when we broke apart. Then I ran.
I ran faster than my legs could carry me until my body crashed against the forest floor. My lungs burned, my chest heaved.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" My wolf's voice thundered in my head. "Failure! Is this how you avenge your parents? Is this how you repay their brutal deaths? By falling in love with the enemy? By letting your only chance at revenge slip away because of weak emotions? FAILURE!"
"Stop!" I screamed, clutching my head, but the voice only grew louder.
"BASTARD!"
"Stop!"
"WEAKLING!"
"Please, stop!"
"You want me to stop? Then turn it off."
My heart stuttered. "Please… don't make me turn it off," I begged.
"WEAKLING!" her voice howled. "You've only killed one of them. Do you think it's over?"
"Please… stop. I said STOP!" I roared, and the trees trembled, birds scattering into the sky.
"Then turn it off, and I will stop."
"Why are you doing this?" My voice broke, my chest tightening until I thought it would split.
"Because your pathetic emotions are in the way of our revenge," she spat.
And she was right. I should have accepted Lucien's ring. His heart. My direct path into the High House as his wife was to execute revenge from the inside. But I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to harm him, not even emotionally.
"Fine," she hissed. "If you can't turn it off, I'll help you."
And she dragged me back into the memory I dreaded most.
My parents' screams. Wolves ripped apart my father's body, his flesh devoured before my eyes. My mother's blood pooled as Lucien's father, the Alpha, stabbed her over and over. I, hidden in a sack of clothes, trembled and suffocated, watching them die.
"Turn it off," my wolf demanded. "Do it for them. Do it for their pain. For their blood. Turn off your emotions and take our revenge."
And I did…