John sat cross-legged on his bed, laptop open in front of him. On the screen were graphs, numbers, and a long list of transactions. Behind him, Harley and Maureen leaned in close, peeking over his shoulders like two nosy cats watching a laser pointer.
"What's all this?" Harley asked, squinting at the monitor. "You doin' taxes or hackin' the Pentagon?"
John didn't look up. "Neither. I'm selling some of my shares."
Maureen tilted her head. "Shares? Like stocks?"
"Yeah," John said. "Wayne Enterprises and Queen Consolidated. I've been investing for a while."
Harley blinked. "Wait. This is why you were livin' like a broke hermit back in Fawcett City? You had money and just... didn't use it?"
"Pretty much," John said, clicking through another tab. "I used almost all my income to buy shares and reinvest. After that, all I could afford was a cheap apartment and instant noodles."
Harley's jaw dropped. "You mean all this time you were actually playin' Wall Street wizard?" She then narrowed her eyes. "But you worked as a pizza delivery guy. So, how did you even get money to buy those shares? Like, ain't they uber expensive?"
"Well, after I left Khandaq, I kinda sneaked in that night and helped myself with the dictator's hidden vault and his bank account. Left the vault money for the people there so that they could start anew," John said.
"How much was in that vault?" Harley asked, narrowing her eyes.
"Enough to rebuild Khandaq. Then I hacked into his account and transferred his money to my new account. With that money, I bought those shares. It was pretty easy," John said as he hit the final confirmation key.
The screen blinked once, then refreshed. A new balance appeared.
$50,000,000.00 – Post-tax transfer completed.
Harley's eyes went wide. "Holy cream pies... that's FIFTY. MILLION. DOLLARS!" She grabbed his shoulders and shook him before snatching the laptop from his hand and looking at the numbers. "You're tellin' me we're sittin' next to a fifty-million-dollar man? John, baby, are you secretly Bruce Wayne's long-lost accountant?"
He took the laptop back before she broke it. "Relax. It's not that much in the grand scheme of things. Besides, you already have a stash of, what, fifteen million sitting in that old warehouse you call a closet."
"That's different," Harley said, waving her hands. "That's our honeymoon money!"
Maureen's eye twitched, "Our what?"
"Our honeymoon money," Harley repeated proudly. "Y'know, for when we all decide to go on vacation. Gotta have funds for important stuff."
John looked back at her, suspicious. "We? And just to be specific, what kind of important stuff are you talking about?"
"Ain't no fun if I tell ya now," Harley said with a wink.
Maureen smirked. "What about you, John? What's the big plan now?"
John leaned back against his pillows, rubbing his chin. "Alright, here's the plan. First, we buy a really nice house. Probably a big mansion with a pool in the garden. And get this—a rooftop pool too. Think sunsets, cocktails, pool noodles and loud music."
Maureen smiled softly. "That actually sounds kinda amazing."
Harley tapped her chin like she was considering something very important. "Alright, my turn. I want… two hyenas."
John looked at her flatly. "Of course you do."
"Named Bud and Lou," Harley continued, counting on her fingers. "A swimming pool filled with whipped cream where I can dive in and make snow angels, and then you, big guy, can..." She gave him a sultry smile and licked her lips.
"Harley." John cut her off, rubbing his forehead.
"What? I was gonna say 'help clean up,'" she said with mock innocence, grinning. "You got a dirty mind, mister!"
Maureen coughed hard, almost choking on air. "You two are unbelievable."
Harley waved her hand. "Oh, hush, Bluebell. I'm not done yet. I also want a golden pogo stick, disco lights all over the place, and a pink limo with fuzzy seats and a karaoke machine in the back. Gotta live in style, ya know?"
She leaned toward Maureen with a mischievous grin.
"What about you, Frosty? What do you want?"
Maureen smirked, sitting up straighter. "Honestly, I have everything I ever wanted."
Harley tilted her head. "You sure? No fancy car? No private ice rink?"
Maureen shook her head, smiling a little. "I've got a home, a bed, food, and people who actually care if I wake up in the morning. That's more than I ever had."
Harley went quiet for a second, then smiled—a small, genuine one. "Aw, Bluebell, you're gonna make me cry." She hugged her tightly for a moment before leaving her.
John shook his head with a little smile. "Alright, so mansion, rooftop pool, next is pizza empire expansion… We already have like six branches in Dakota. Next stop Metropolis, Star City, and Fawcett. But Gotham's off the table. Too many… complications there."
Harley jumped up and did a little spin on the bed. "No Gotham? Fine, fine. But the whipped cream pool stays. And the hyenas. And the disco lights. And did I mention the pink limo?"
John groaned. "Yes, Harley. You mentioned all that."
Maureen leaned back, smiling as she watched the chaos unfold. "Well, at least the money is in good hands… even if one of you is planning a dessert-themed wildlife sanctuary on the side."
Harley grinned, pointing at John. "And that's why I love him. He says yes to everything… eventually."
"Eventually being the key word here," John muttered under his breath.
Harley plopped down between him and Maureen, her arms draped over both of them. "Alright team. Mansion, pools, pizza empire, hyenas, whipped cream, disco lights, pink limo… ready to roll."
John just rubbed his temples and sighed, wondering how his quiet financial plans had turned into a carnival.
...
That afternoon, the trio huddled around John's laptop, clicking through listings and property websites. John had already filtered the options: spacious, secure, with room for a rooftop pool, and hopefully not haunted. Harley had her own criteria, mostly revolving around how many animals the place could accommodate and whether whipped cream pools were structurally feasible.
After an hour of scrolling and debating, they narrowed it down to three mansions. Two were in Dakota City, both sprawling estates with manicured lawns and extravagant entrances. The third was in Star City, a modern glass-and-steel structure perched on a hill overlooking the city.
"Alright," John said, rubbing his temples. "We start with Dakota. We can check out Star City later."
Harley clapped her hands. "Road trip! I mean, city trip! Let's go look at palaces!"
Maureen rolled her eyes but smiled. "You mean mansions."
The drive to the first mansion was filled with Harley rattling off her dream features.
The first Dakota mansion was a classic beauty. Large stone pillars framed the entrance, and the driveway twisted past fountains and topiary hedges. John parked, and the trio stepped out, stretching.
Harley immediately darted toward the backyard. "Pool! Check! Room for whipped cream experiments!" She spun around, arms outstretched. "Oh, and if we put a slide here, it can go straight into the pool. Genius idea, right?"
Maureen wandered through the gardens, appreciating the landscaping. "It's big and beautiful."
John shook his head, smiling. "Okay, yes, this is promising. But the interior matters too."
Inside, the mansion was a mix of classical elegance and modern amenities. High ceilings, polished floors, and a massive chandelier in the main hall. Harley was already imagining it as her personal playground.
"This is perfect," she declared, flopping dramatically onto a velvet chaise lounge. "Imagine me twirling around here in disco lights. Bud and Lou could patrol the halls."
They explored the upstairs, discovering a library, multiple guest rooms, and a master suite with a balcony overlooking the gardens.
"Alright," John said once the tour ended. "Mansion one is a contender. Let's see the second one." He gave the keys to the caretaker before they left for their next destination.
The second Dakota mansion was more modern, with a futuristic design. Harley ran straight to the garage. "Ohhh, room for the pink limo and maybe a few sports cars!"
The interior was minimalist, with white walls, glass panels, and a huge open living space. The kitchen had a massive island, perfect for cooking or experiments. The backyard had space for a pool, though not quite as big as the first.
"This one's nice," Maureen said. "Less cluttered, easier to maintain. Could be good for long term."
Harley, however, was torn. "But the first one has vibes. This one got a little pool, but the house is awesome. Plus the big garage."
"Alright, how about we make a trip to the Star City? If we leave now, we'll be there by around six. We can enjoy the night there. I heard there is a carnival going on the Star City. So, plus the fun. And in the morning, we can check out the property and be back home by noon," John said after thinking for a bit.
Harley jumped on his back, "Yay! Road trip. Let's go, let's go."
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