"What am I?"
Uttered a 31-year-old man named Arya Shaka, who had a very simple appearance. He lived in an apartment with his 72-year-old mother. Paying the rent of Seven Hundred Thousand Rupiah was not easy for him, who only worked as a "Writer" creating various stories, which were made to look bad by his writing.
Every night on his worn-out sofa, he always wondered about himself. He was afraid. He was afraid of other people's perceptions of him. He was just a poor, loser man. He was a man who lived a suffering and miserable life. He was a man who failed in romantic relationships. And every time he slept, he would tremble restlessly, thinking about what failure would happen the next morning. It always happened; his manuscripts were always rejected by the Publishing Company. He was tired, he had no goals to achieve other than to find money for food and to pay his apartment rent.
Social life was terrible for him. People would stab him with the disgusting stares he saw every day. He was aware that he was nobody, just a dirty, smelly poor man. Besides that, he was afraid, afraid of failure, afraid of falling. He even thought that his mother was disappointed in him. It only made him more shaken and worried, about others and his mother herself. And he couldn't even understand and found it difficult to explain what was happening within him.
He only hoped there would be a chance for him to achieve his simple dream, which was for his manuscript to be accepted and become a work that generated profit—he thought that not because he was confident that his work was very good, but because that was his only hope for survival; he didn't want to keep failing continuously.
But amidst all that, he always gazed at the night sky—the brightly shining moon, the wind whispering through the silence, and the beautiful stars hanging in the sky that seemed to shine just for him. Making him desire to reach them. Only all of that could calm his tired heart.
A story of the tragic life journey of The Main Character. A man searching for opportunity, hope, and happiness. Even though his life was shattered and full of suffering in alienation, as if fate was toying with him.
"I'm scared... I hope this nightmare ends soon."
.....