The Donovan house had a comforting rhythm at night. The tick of the grandfather clock, the faint hum of the refrigerator, the occasional creak of settling wood and there is Sophia who could sleep through anything, but I found myself tossing and turning, my mind restless.
I still remember the shocked in Sophia's face when she saw me sitting at the corner of the room with my head in between my legs.
I manage to settled her down with excuses that I am missing my mom after speaking to her in the phone.
She then hugged me, trying to calm me down.
My mind is still hyping my rage towards Tristan in that evening. I somehow felt guilty with the way I react when he's just trying to help me from falling down the stairs.
How I wish I could turn back the time and instead of raging, I should have at least said "Thank you Tristan for saving me from falling down the stairs."
Ugh., why did I do that? Now, I can't help but tossing around in my sleep. Finally, I can't stand the tossing, so I slipped out from Sophia's room and padded down the stairs.
Then I saw a dim light glowed from the kitchen.
My feet brought me to the kitchen and I saw Tristan was standing by the counter, again, with his shirt sleeves rolled up, sipping the water like the quietness belonged to him.
He didn't even startled when I entered, like he know I will be there. He only glanced over, with his sharp eyes that contains unreadable shadows.
"Can't sleep either?" he asked, setting down his glass.
"Yeah. Too many things in my mind," I replied. My voice sounded smaller than I intended.
To my surprise, he chuckled. A low, quiet sound caught me off my guard. This wasn't the cold and polished Tristan that everyone seemed to respect. This felt softer and more real.
I leaned against the counter across from him, folding my arms.
I muttered, "I'm sorry," when I heard him saying the same thing. Then I look at his face.
I heard him saying "I am sorry, Ellie for my words in the evening. I didn't mean to spite you. It's just I couldn't control my tone when I saw you almost trip yourself down the stairs."
I was shocked to hear his apology that I blurted out, "You're not what I remember."
He tilted his head, studying me. "And what do you remember about me anyway?" he said.
I shrugged. "You are Tristan Donovan, Sophia's overprotective big brother. Always serious. Always gone and never heard any apology coming through you mouth. You are always the right one. Big sibling syndrome," I said.
His lips curved faintly. "Sounds accurate."
But then his eyes met mine, steady and piercing. "It's never wrong to apologize when you know you have made mistake, Ellie. I hope you could forgive me for what I have said earlier,"
"It's okay, I know I am in the wrong too. I also want to apologize for raising my voice when you were just trying to help me," I said bashfully.
He looked at me again before I heard him saying, "You've changed, Ellie. But some things haven't. You still make too much noise in my head."
My breath got caught. He turned away before I could respond, rinsing his glass as if he hadn't just unravelled me with a single sentence and walkaway into the darkness once again.
I stood there in the kitchen frozen, realizing that sleep would be impossible tonight, not when his voice keep echoing in my mind.