Chapter 86: Struggle
The two embraced for a long time before Yu gently loosened his arms.
But Sasuko still nestled in his embrace without leaving. She lifted her slightly flushed face, voice soft yet carrying a trace of hope. "Yu... tonight, I want you to stay with me."
Recalling that unsettling scene in her mind—whether it was an illusory mistake or not, she didn't want any more distance.
Yu looked down at the girl in his arms, her expression mixing dependence and expectation, a trace of barely perceptible struggle passing through his eyes.
He gently pressed Sasuko's shoulders and after a moment of silence, his voice somewhat low and hoarse. "Sasuko, this... isn't appropriate."
Sasuko's cheeks flushed redder, yet she still stubbornly leaned into his embrace, voice soft and sweet. "Yu~"
That drawn-out tone carried a hint of spoiled grievance, clear eyes gazing at him with focused seriousness.
Yu gazed at the girl in his arms with this expression, his emotions unable to calm.
However, he soon closed his eyes, and when he spoke again, his voice worked to maintain steadiness. "Be good."
But Sasuko persisted, instead drawing closer to his ear to whisper softly, "Yu clearly just said... you'd be willing to change for me. Have you already forgotten?" Her voice was light, carrying a trace of faint resentment. "It's really just... keeping me company."
No matter how firm Yu's resolve, at this moment he could hardly remain completely calm. His Adam's apple bobbed, voice revealing obvious struggle. "I... alright."
"But only... staying with you."
Sasuko softly hummed, no longer pressing.
She knew in her heart this was already the limit Yu could accept in such a short time.
She reached out, gently taking Yu's hand, voice soft. "Then... Yu, let's go over there."
Yu looked at her wearing only thin sleepwear and sighed almost inaudibly, ultimately still lifting her and walking toward the bed.
Sasuko took the opportunity to lightly rest her burning cheek on his shoulder, breathing gentle.
Yu gently placed Sasuko on the bed, then lay down on the other side with his back to her, deliberately maintaining some distance.
But Sasuko called softly, "Yu... won't you look at me?" Her voice was light. "If you're unwilling, then what does it matter to look at me?"
She propped herself up slightly, moonlight outlining her slender silhouette and serious expression.
"But if you want to... here and now, no one would know." She gazed at his back, voice as light as a whisper. "In others' eyes, our relationship would still be like before."
At this moment, her small face held clear eyes yet carried unmistakable seriousness.
"Yu, you don't need to always suppress yourself," she continued softly, tone gentle yet firm. "I can sense your hesitation and struggle... I'll accept any choice you make."
As Sasuko spoke softly, she carefully extended her hand, fingertips lightly touching his arm, as if comforting yet also testing.
At the same time, she moved slightly closer, voice carrying a barely perceptible tremor. "Just like this... is that not okay? Or is it that Yu actually also..."
Before finishing, Yu suddenly grabbed her wrist, voice low and hoarse. "Sasuko... you said so yourself."
But she seemed not to notice the restraint in his voice, still speaking softly. "It really is just like this." She paused briefly, breath warm. "If you are willing to come a bit closer, I'm here."
Her fingertips moved lightly in his palm.
"Or... have you started rejecting even this?" Sasuko's voice carried genuine grievance.
Yu's back tensed. He didn't dare turn around, afraid to face the churning waves in his heart, only able to forcibly suppress those chaotic thoughts.
Yet in his mind, every detail of being with Sasuko surfaced uncontrollably—that girl who always liked following behind, that Sasuko who would sweetly act spoiled, somehow... had become so persistent and radiant.
He also recalled her focused profile when cooking for him, and the gentle smiling eyes when gazing at him.
'She's someone important to me...'
He warned himself repeatedly in his heart, voice fluctuating.
'I promised... to take good care of her...'
But that light touch, the breath so close at hand, the grieved yet firm tone—all gradually dismantling his established defenses. He could hear his own drumming heartbeat, especially clear in the quiet room.
I can't do this...
I can't...
Reason and emotion fiercely clashed in his mind.
At times, that impulse to turn and face her nearly gained the upper hand; at times he was pulled back by heavy responsibility and protective desire—she was someone he'd guarded since childhood.
In his mind, Sasuko's appearance from various periods surfaced consecutively: her innocent smile as a young child, her stubborn expression in youth, her current appearance firmly watching him in the moonlight... each image questioning his heart.
He tensed his entire body, knuckles slightly whitening from exertion.
"Mmph... Yu, it hurts."
A soft cry instantly scattered the churning thoughts in Yu's mind. He suddenly snapped back to awareness, only then realizing he'd unconsciously tightened his grip on Sasuko's hand.
He hastily loosened his hold, yet Sasuko didn't withdraw her hand, still obediently remaining in his palm.
"Sorry, Sasuko." He said quietly, voice still carrying unrecovered hoarseness.
Sasuko actually didn't mind the earlier pain much.
However, just then, Yu suddenly turned around and before she could react, had already gently embraced her.
Yu lowered his head, a gentle and warm kiss lightly falling on her hair.
He sighed softly, voice carrying some helplessness and relief.
"Perhaps... I really am... just a hopeless fool."
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