Li Ming gave Ewen an exasperated glance and patted the grass beside him, signaling him to sit and stargaze together. "Kid, do you know what it means to be chosen by God and have Him speak to you personally?"
Ewen's eye twitched. He looked at himself, then at Li Ming, who appeared to be in his early twenties, and retorted irritably, "How old are you to call me 'kid'?"
"Tch—" Li Ming scoffed, plucking a blade of grass to chew on as he swung his legs. "You really want to compare ages with a mage?"
Ewen paused. Right, I almost forgot—this guy's a mage. Who knows how many centuries old he actually is?
Glancing at the grass, his germaphobia acting up, Ewen opted to squat instead. With a sigh, he complained, "I know being chosen by God is an honor, but I can't just abandon my career for the ark. I just moved to a new home—haven't even adjusted yet. My whole family depends on me. I can't let my kids go hungry, can I?"
"Can you help me get in touch with God? I'll build the ark after I finish this proposal," Ewen said, glancing at the toolbox. "I'll hire an engineering team to help construct the ark then."
Before Ewen could finish, Li Ming interjected gloomily, "Kid, the old man said 'you must build the ark with your own hands.' Do you think hiring an engineering team makes sense? If we're talking about speed, do you really think they can compare to me? I could hammer out an entire naval fleet in minutes, but have you seen me dare to use spells? Damn it, I can't even summon servants now."
Mentioning servants, Ewen instinctively recalled the genetically mutated Kreacher, a hint of curiosity flashing across his face. Just as he was about to ask what the magic world was like, he saw Li Ming sit cross-legged on the grass, eyeing him up and down before asking, "Do you really not understand the meaning behind God asking you to build the ark?"
Ewen shook his head blankly. It wasn't that he hadn't thought about it—aside from God's hint about 'changing the world,' which gave him a vague inkling, the rest remained a complete mystery. Especially the connection between changing the world and building an ark.
These were two entirely different things.
Unless the old man upstairs really intended to unleash a flood to wipe out humanity—then the world would indeed change, since everyone would be drowned. That would certainly count as changing the world.
But he couldn't bring himself to believe God would send a great flood.
Besides, unlike unpredictable natural disasters like earthquakes, floods don't arrive without warning. There would be signs—typhoons, prolonged rainfall, snowmelt floods, and so on.
But this is the age of technology. Weather forecasts aren't decided by meteorologists raising their hands in meetings. Could the government really fail to detect abnormal weather patterns?
If that were the case, why would the state fund the meteorological bureau every year? To raise freeloaders?
Seeing Ewen lost in thought with a troubled expression, Li Ming patted his shoulder, snapping him out of it. "Noah didn't build the ark alone—he did it with his family," Li Ming reminded him, lying back on the grass with his hands behind his head. "Besides, Noah's Ark isn't a disaster story. It's a love story about trust."
With that, Li Ming closed his eyes, signaling the conversation was over.
"That's the first time I've heard that interpretation," Ewen said with a forced chuckle, picking up his documents and heading home.
The next morning, Li Ming was roused from sleep by a chorus of chirping.
Rubbing his bleary eyes, he stepped out of his tent. The sight of a flock of birds feasting on his already scarce wheat instantly jolted him awake.
The wheat was his only staple food. If the birds devoured it all, he'd be stuck eating wild vegetables for every meal from then on.Not being able to eat meat heartily was one thing, but if he couldn't even get his hands on plain steamed buns, how was he supposed to live like this?
Thinking this, Li Ming instinctively raised his hand to cast a spell to drive away the birds, only to remember with a bitter face that he couldn't use magic. Waving his arms to shoo the flock, he shouted, "Hey, bird bros, don't eat everything! At least leave some for me. Once I make them into buns, I'll share some with you, alright?"
Unfortunately, the sheer number of birds, combined with Li Ming's inability to speak bird language, meant none of them paid him any heed. They continued eating and, well, doing their business as they pleased.
Left with no choice, Li Ming grabbed his scythe and waded into the flock, desperately salvaging what little wheat he could for his precious buns.
By the time he finally finished harvesting the ripe wheat, Li Ming was covered in a pungent, foul stench.
What could he do? These birds had God as their unshakable backer, so they could afford to be as unruly as they wanted. Eating and pooping at the same time? So what? Who dared to complain?
Looking at the bird droppings on his clothes, Li Ming began to understand why God had forbidden Kreacher from helping with laundry—He'd been setting him up all along.
Well, now he had no choice but to wash his clothes himself.
Suppressing the urge to activate the "clean as new" spell on his clothes, Li Ming hung his head and resigned himself to scrubbing them by hand. Just then, in the distance, Ewen strode energetically toward his car, dressed in a well-fitted suit, chest puffed out like a successful businessman heading to work.
Li Ming glanced up at the sky full of birds, then at the pairs of animals roaming around, and silently lit a metaphorical candle for Ewen in his heart.
This poor fool. God had explicitly ordered him to focus on building the ark, yet here he was, still daring to go out and show off? Did God not deserve respect? Served him right for courting misfortune.
Sure enough, just as Li Ming was about to thresh and grind the wheat, Ewen stormed over, his suit now splattered with bird droppings, and demanded furiously, "What does He want? Why humiliate me in front of important people? Is He trying to ruin my life?"
Li Ming spared him a sidelong glance before silently returning to grinding his precious wheat.
He had noticed something peculiar about this wheat. Whether it needed drying or not was a trivial concern—after all, it grew straight from the grass. Did anyone really expect to analyze it scientifically? This was God's wheat, after all.
What made it special was the faint magical energy Li Ming sensed within it. Though he wasn't sure what effects this energy might have, he knew consuming this wheat would bring its own benefits.
As for the idea that God might be trying to poison him with it—give it a rest. If God wanted him dead, a single slap would suffice. There was no need to waste good food.
Before long, seeing that Li Ming wasn't paying him any attention, Ewen slumped his shoulders and trudged back home.
For the next few days, Li Ming woke to the sound of birds, fought the flock for scraps of wheat amid their eating and defecating, and then naturally hauled water to scrub his clothes.
Once the laundry was done, he prepared breakfast—usually wild vegetables with steamed buns. After breakfast, Li Ming hid away a portion of the wheat seeds before joining Kreacher in husking the wheat. By noon, the wheat was nearly cleaned.
They had a simple meal of wild vegetable ramen or wild vegetable dough drop soup, then master and servant began grinding the wheat with a stone mill. As the sun set, the ground wheat flour was set aside, and Li Ming started learning from Kreacher's example to wrap oddly shaped dumplings—food with wrappers and fillings should be called dumplings, right?
Truth be told, it was rather pitiful. Whether God saw that Li Ming was already eating steamed buns or simply found his constant muttering about meat annoying and decided to teach him a lesson, after gifting him a fish on the first day, He made sure Li Ming didn't catch so much as a whiff of meat for the next several days.
However, Li Ming didn't mind because the magic-infused wheat had remarkably good effects. In just a few days, his slight belly had noticeably shrunk. If things continued this way, by the time he spent two years in the 'Bruce Almighty' world, he would likely have a flat stomach.
Additionally, the purity of his own magic power had also increased. Li Ming estimated that by the time he left the 'Bruce Almighty' world, he might be able to attempt advancing to the next cultivation stage, refining the spirit to return to emptiness.
This made Li Ming so happy that every time he heard birds chirping, he gritted his teeth in annoyance, wishing he could set up a machine gun in the grass to scare them away. Without those birds stealing his wheat, he could eat an extra bite of steamed bun every day, make a little more progress, and grow stronger just by eating. The thought alone made him gleeful.
A few days later, when the stored wheat was enough to last Li Ming and Klee Che for over a month, Ewen—dressed in tattered linen robes with a thick beard—approached Li Ming and said, "Mr. Mage..."
"Austin, just call me Austin," Li Ming grinned, pointing at Ewen's disheveled appearance and laughing. "Kid, did your wife kick you out?"
With that, Li Ming spread his arms wide and gestured toward Ewen. "Welcome to the caveman club! With that look, you've got serious tribal chief vibes."
Ewen smiled awkwardly and shook his head slightly. "Actually, my family would like to invite you to dinner," he said, pausing before glancing at Klee Che, who was hiding behind Li Ming. He crouched slightly and added, "And Kreacher too."
Hearing Ewen's dinner invitation, Li Ming's eyes lit up with excitement. "Got any booze? Just eating is boring—drinking's way better, especially ice-cold beer with peanuts. I can down five crates!"
Ewen: "..." Five crates of beer? You absolute tank.
And what's with the peanuts? Don't you know a lot of Americans are allergic to those? Besides, inviting you to dinner obviously means I have something to discuss—what's the point if you're drunk?
Sighing, Ewen slumped his shoulders in resignation and nodded. "Fine, I'll go buy some beer later."
With that, he turned and left.
Nearby, Kreacher asked curiously, "Boss, didn't you say Mr. Ewen has OCD? Why would he invite us?"
Li Ming shrugged and chuckled. "Not inviting me—it's you. Probably because Ewen's been driven half-mad by the old man and needs to prove to his family that magic and God exist, using you as evidence."
"The so-called invitation is just his way of showing them he's not crazy—that he really was chosen by God to build the ark."
As time passed, night began to fall.
Li Ming and Kreacher knocked on Ewen's door.
Soon, Ewen's wife, Joan, opened it and stared at Li Ming in stunned silence. Li Ming knew the other party was surprised by his appearance, but what could he do? Living like a savage, unable to cast spells and with no money to groom his hair, it was a miracle no birds were nesting in it.
Li Ming pulled out a few amulets from his satchel and said, "Good evening, I'm Austin. Your husband invited me for drinks. These are small gifts—I hope you like them."