"Let's destroy this kingdom then."
"Have you gone mad?" Misha shook Winter's shoulders as if hoping that it would somehow restore sense to him- sense which he never really had to begin with.
"It's different now." Winter said grimly. "That goes for me too, Misha. I'm no longer who you think I am either."
"What in the world are you talking about?" Misha found himself growing more and more rattled with each word Winter said. "Does one near death experience suddenly change someone completely?!" Even as he said it, he understood that it was probable.
"No, it wasn't the poisoning attempt or the fact that I nearly died."
Misha was in disbelief. Winter- a king so paranoid that he only shared bits of information with even his guards, the king so cautious that he had weapons and plans for escape wherever he went, the king so fearful of death and revenge- was saying that he hadn't been changed by nearly dying or the poisoning. It wasn't just bravado. Misha knew that he was serious. The way he said it, it was as if those were passing thoughts.
"Listen to me. You and I both know that as I am right now, I am not capable of being king. This isn't just a personal belief but the truth. Even if I came back, I would just get knocked over again."
"But-" Misha paused, trembling from the force of such honest evaluation, "Then what do you plan on doing?"
"I'm going to train. I'm going to strengthen my abilities and return only when I can be truly be king and not just when I can wear the crown."
"Your abilities?" Misha furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "Do you mean to tell me that you still haven't figured out how to use your abilities?"
Winter looked guilty of something as he turned his face away, "It's not that. Of course I can use them, I just want to get better at it. I took my role too seriously so I never reached my full potential, that's all."
Misha sighed. Had Winter really made some sort of breakthrough? It didn't matter how incompetent he was in reality because his face and name were what held the kingdom together. If Winter left then it didn't matter how capable the administration that took over was, the kingdom would begin to collapse.
"I've heard you out so now listen to me, Winter. What you lack isn't in your abilities or magic or whatever it is that you think is the problem. What you lacked for all these years was interest and effort. Instead of disappearing like some kind of recluse to do some half-baked magic training, why don't you redirect your efforts into taking a more active role in administrative work?"
There was a long pause until Winter finally spoke again. "That might also be true but the reason I died wasn't because I was a bad king."
Misha felt like the breath was knocked out of his lungs.
"It was because someone wanted to take over. And I couldn't stop it-"
Winter stopped and took a few steps forward past Misha. "-Not because I was a bad king but because I was too weak."
Misha spun around to face Winter again who had a look in his eyes that he had never seen before. "If the attacker comes back again, do you think I can defeat them with the power of administrative work? If I pull out the budget for this year and next year, will they politely step back and apologize?"
Misha bit his lip to stop from retorting. It was also partly because he knew Winter was right. He wished with all his heart that Winter would be able to one day put all his efforts into what his role was actually supposed to be about and stop worrying about traitors and death threats. It was a pity that such a thing couldn't happen- not when even the king's court was full of divisions and backstabbing. 'Human beings...really have to ruin everything, don't they?' Misha couldn't help but think to himself. He saw his dead friends in Winter everyday and everyday he remembered how easy it was to lose something- to have something taken away from you as if it was never yours at any point in the universal history.
"Fine." There were millions of things he wanted to say and wished he could say but that was the only word he was capable of putting across. Winter smiled- a sad and knowing smile. It was the same look his parents' would give Misha whenever they ran into an undeniable truth they had to face- the kind of heart-break that ripped people apart but which they had no choice but to live with.
There was a mutual understanding between them in that moment. They both knew what they were supposed to do next while carrying their own set of doubts. Winter exhaled and sat back down, calming down from the state he had been in earlier.
"We can't let them know I lived. You need to hold a funeral for me."
"Do you plan on burying a decoy body?"
"Not exactly. Tell everyone that my body still contains some Celestial Powers and so it would be highly dangerous for the people living around me and also in case someone tries to steal it. That's why you had to burn it before it was too late."
"Winter, I don't think you understand yet." Misha said quietly, "This kingdom will really collapse. There's no coming back from faking your death."
"Trying to lie about my whereabouts would only prolong that suffering." Winter said steadily. Perhaps, he was more at ease because he hadn't done everything Misha had. He hadn't lived for years for the sake of the kingdom and its people. He hadn't spent countless nights making arrangements and thinking about the problems that needed to be solved.
"I know I can't stop you but...one day, I hope you learn what the worth of something is."
Winter frowned upon hearing that but there was none of the usual malice or pride he carried. He seemed to accept that statement as much as he wanted to deny it. Misha smiled sadly. There was a long road ahead for them both.
"Where do you plan on going now?" Misha continued, wanting to break the tense silence between them.
Winter stood up, walking over to the table where he kept old documents and maps. He pulled out an old map of the kingdom that Misha had planned on examining later and spread it out on the table.
"Somewhere remote but a place where I can train."
"I don't think such a place exists."
Winter didn't answer, looking intently at each and every corner of the map. Since it was an old map, there were many blank spaces and annotations. Winter's eyes suddenly widened and he pointed at a space on the map.
"What's that?" It was far away from most of the kingdom- a tiny spot that succeeded a large forest.
"This is an old map so it won't be up to date." Misha explained, "There was supposed to be a village there but in reality there isn't."
"I see...What about this one?"
It was a small town situated on the border. It was close to the spot in the sense that it appeared by the other end of the forest. Unlike that spot, it was a known place- a little bit shady in its dealings but harmless for the most part. It was ultimately a tourist destination and there were more travellers than inhabitants.
"I think that place is feasible." Misha said thoughtfully.
Winter nodded, rolling the map back up. He stood up and headed towards the door with long strides.
"You're leaving already?"
"I can't afford to waste any more time." Winter said grimly.
"At least take a more updated map with you." Misha said, sighing as he went to pick up a later edition of the map.
"Thank you." Winter said, still not handing back the old one. "It's a precaution."
In those words, the old man saw something familiar again in Winter but in that familiarity, he also saw trouble. He felt exhausted all of a sudden, wanting nothing more than to collapse onto the ground and sleep. For the first time since forever, he decided he was actually going to do that.
"Good luck then." He headed for his bed which was tucked into a corner. Winter noticed, his eyes widening again before a small smile graced his face. "Sorry, you must be tired."
Misha only nodded in reply as he fell onto the bed, already fading out of consciousness. The last thing he heard before he dozed off was a quiet 'good night' and the clicking of the door.