Sometimes I feel like I'm the sunlight in this group. Not because I'm always happy, but because I try to bring warmth when the room feels cold. The truth is, I notice everything too. I just choose to shine on the good parts instead of letting the shadows grow.
Lately, the good parts have been Jungkook and Taehyung. I don't even have to explain it—you feel it when they walk into a room. The energy between them has softened. Before, it was chaos: loud laughter, bickering, pushing and pulling like kids on a playground. Now, it's calmer. Quieter. Like two magnets that finally figured out they don't have to fight to connect.
The others see it too, but no one says it out loud. Not directly. Namjoon watches like a quiet guardian, Yoongi pretends not to care but he's always listening, Jimin smiles knowingly, and Seokjin… well, Seokjin hyung teases, but I can tell his teasing is a way of saying, "I see you."
Me? I just let them be. But I find ways to nudge the energy in the right direction. If I notice Taehyung hanging back during practice, I'll drag him forward with a laugh. If Jungkook looks nervous before a live, I'll crack a joke so the tension breaks. It's not much, but sometimes the smallest light can change the whole room.
The other night, we all gathered in the dorm living room. No schedules, no cameras, no staff—just us, a pile of snacks, and a movie playing in the background. The kind of night we rarely get anymore. I sat in the middle of the couch with chips in my lap, and I couldn't help noticing the way Jungkook leaned against Taehyung, casual but firm, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
No one said a word about it, but the silence around it was heavy. Not uncomfortable, but… aware. I looked at them and then looked at the others. I could almost hear the unspoken thoughts bouncing between us. And that's when I laughed out loud, breaking the spell.
"You two are sitting like it's winter," I teased, pointing with a chip. "It's not that cold in here."
Jungkook flushed red, Taehyung smirked, and the others burst into laughter. The tension dissolved instantly. That's my role. To turn what could be too serious into something light. To remind everyone that love, in any form, doesn't have to be scary.
Later that night, when everyone drifted off to bed, I stayed behind for a while. The movie kept playing, but I wasn't really watching. I thought about how our lives are so controlled by cameras, fans, schedules, and the weight of being "BTS." But in moments like tonight—sitting close, laughing, eating snacks—we were just people. Just friends. Just family.
That's what I want to hold onto. Not the fear of what others might think, but the peace of knowing that within these four walls, we are free.
When I finally got up to turn off the lights, I saw Jungkook and Taehyung fast asleep on the couch, shoulders still touching. I smiled, shook my head, and whispered, "Sleep well, kids."
Because sometimes, happiness doesn't need to be explained. It just needs to be protected. And if protecting it means being the light that distracts the shadows, then that's exactly who I'll keep being.