On the back of Red Hare, Gudako slumped like a puddle of melted clay.
"Hey, hey, Red Hare, where are we going?"
"You should be the one answering that, Master," Red Hare snorted, gently shifting his weight to keep Fujimaru Ritsuka from sliding off his back.
"Shirakana~ (I dunno~)," Fujimaru mumbled, rolling over again—nearly falling off—but this time she caught a tuft of Red Hare's mane just in time.
After thinking for a bit, Fujimaru's face suddenly lit up with inspiration. She pointed forward and said solemnly:
"That rock."
It was a rock—sharp at one end.
Red Hare immediately understood what she meant. With a long sigh, he picked up the stone with his teeth and handed it to Fujimaru. She took it, gave it a lazy toss.
The rock landed on the ground, pointing in some random direction.
"That way!"
Two white puffs of air flared from Red Hare's nostrils.
Fujimaru sat upright.
"Onward, Tokai Teio!"
"…Ah, so I have another name now?" Red Hare's tone remained calm. His Master's brain had clearly been fried by all that Chaldean nonsense. For now, it was best to just humor her.
Red Hare started to move, stretching his legs with gentle steps. Fujimaru pulled out a lantern—one of the items she'd drawn earlier from her "gacha."
It was called [Blessing of the Valkyries].
"Heh, see? I always pull the exact item I'll need next—just like in games, when the key story item drops right before you need it!"
"Maybe someone in Chaldea foresaw the future and slipped it to you," Red Hare said, scraping his hoof against the dirt.
"Wow, what a convenient excuse! Just make a character who can 'see the future,' then blame all the lazy writing on them! Such classic plot armor—it's like a dev team that's run out of ideas!"
At some point, Fujimaru's art style had shifted into a tiny Q-version chibi block figure.
"Let's go!"
With Gudako's shout, Red Hare leapt forward, hooves thundering across the barren land, kicking up clouds of dust. The lantern in Gudako's hands glowed softly, casting a protective light over the two.
After nearly an entire day of galloping, Red Hare arrived outside Moon City—covered in dust, while on his back, Gudako had somehow changed into a monk's robe, holding a priest's staff and wearing a Bodhi cap—still in chibi form.
Sensing the presence of others, Red Hare quickened his pace at her command, heading toward the city.
Gudako began humming a strange tune with her mouth, mimicking percussion sounds:
"Duang, duang, duang…"
Before long, horse and rider arrived at the city gates, where a patrol squad surrounded them.
Her art style returned to normal, but her words remained ridiculous:
"Ah, I know this part! This is where the battle event starts, right? Classic! Every time you meet someone, you've got to fight before the story can move on!"
Unfortunately, things didn't go the way Gudako expected. There was no battle. The patrol couldn't make sense of her nonsense, so they brought in the wisest person they had—the High Priest of Moon City.
"This humble monk hails from the Great Tang of the East…"
Though Fujimaru's magical aptitude made most Servants want to facepalm, she had at least learned a few minor spells—one of which was a translation spell. Thus, she had no trouble communicating with the locals.
Through Gudako's rambling and the priest's careful reasoning, he eventually pieced together the story.
"So you're saying… you two drifted here from outside the world, and when you tried to go home, a brainless barrier blocked your way?"
"Mhm, mhm!" Gudako nodded, reverting to her Q-chibi form again.
The people of Moon City weren't too surprised—they assumed it was just some kind of supernatural power.
Gudako rummaged through the pouch on her belly—the Treasury of the Retainer—accompanied by a series of "tonk tonk tonk" sound effects, and pulled out a Golden Apple.
Holding it high, she proclaimed:
"The Endless Golden Apple!"
Another item she'd just drawn from her gacha.
"See? I told you the devs were getting lazy with their writing. 'Oh, it's just coincidence! Oh, it's just fate!'—and when people ask why the Grand Servants don't show up, the excuse is always 'Not enough mana to cross worlds!' Such cheap worldbuilding!"
The High Priest took the apple, examining it through divination and purification rituals. To his amazement, it was completely untainted—and even possessed mild purifying properties against corruption.
"Miss, may I ask—why is it called the Endless Golden Apple?"
Gudako dug into her pouch again and pulled out another apple.
"Because ten new ones spawn every day."
The Moon City people exchanged looks—then silently came to a collective conclusion: Keep her happy. If this is true, we'll be rich.
"Miss, this area is dangerous. Perhaps you'd like a place to rest?"
Gudako nodded in agreement. She had already seen through their little plan—but she didn't mind. As a self-proclaimed "savior," and a Lawful Good (questionably) individual, she couldn't just leave these people to fend for themselves.
After all, it was completely unreasonable for the Human Order to demand that such a responsible savior prove she was one! (She loudly emphasized this point!)
"Then… how should we address you, honored one?" the High Priest asked respectfully.
Fujimaru thought for a moment, then answered proudly:
"You may call me… Her Exalted Eminence, the Supreme Savior, the Great General!"
(End of Chapter)